Anonymous
Beloved of All
Prayer Request: I don’t want to be the person that I am and I don’t want to lose people. Sorry it’s too long..
I apologize to everyone that I push away. In life you allow things to happen that you can control. You allow people to make you feel a certain way. You allow situations and people to affect your mood and stress. You allow negative things to affect your life. You allow so much that you lose yourself. Maybe I am talking from experience. I’ve allowed so many situations and people to affect me. Since I allow so much and took in so much, I am a person that I don’t like. I allow so much that I could have prevented and it seems second nature to me. I make excuses for no reason. I allow so much negativity that comes within that I don’t blame anyone to be around me. I can’t continue to allow this to happen to me. I've been some negative thinking in my life and it seems like I keep on doing the same thing over and over. I've been trying to stop doing the negative things but I've been changing little by little but not completely yet. The most negative people in my life are my family. I push people away and they are the ones who are the most positive for me. I am determined to change my life and change my way of thinking. I know it will be a long journey but it has to be done. Also I need to comfort the main source of my issues and I know when I will do it. I was going to comfort it last Saturday going to lunch but soon I canceled it because I wanted to go somewhere else and put it off. I need to live my life and people are right I was a people pleaser so I can avoid conflict. Honestly I need to get me together. I know the biggest influence in my life and the ones who affect me the most. The thing is I can’t blame them because I’ve allowed. I allow all the words and actions to affect me as a person. I’ve allowed them to affect others' lives by association because they will affect my life so much. I say things and it seems like nothing changes. I’m done with talking about my issues since I already know what is going on. I’ve been done all I’ve been doing is giving it to God. I know people won’t believe me and think I am in denial from all of this but I’m not. I’ve lost my motivation in life and strength. It’s no excuse but I just want this to change so I have to make it change. I know I’ve been causing stress to people and it’s all my fault. I am not happy and I haven’t lived my life. I pray that I haven’t lost my best friend; she said she had to step away from this situation which I interpret as me. I don’t love me the way that I should and I am learning how to handle that. I am praying not for myself but for someone else. I pray that ### will be able to pay her rent so she won't get evicted. Also pray that ### and ### will get back into a relationship. I pray ### will let go of his angry, pride, and ego, so he can be there for ###. I pray that they will have no interfering in their relationship. I pray for relationship healing. I pray that ### and ### will see how much they love each other and work it out. I pray that they will put aside their differences and hurt and pain and see what is in their hearts. I pray that God to search the hearts of all involved. I pray God will work in each one to bring about forgiveness and peace. I know only God knows what really lies in people's hearts. I know only He can reveal it to them in a way that will bring humble repentance, forgiveness, and a sincere desire to do what is right. I also pray that they won't allow other people to affect their relationship. I also pray that they both will not be prideful and not focus on the hurt feelings that they have and work on working things out and be able to trust one another. I also pray that finances get in order. I pray for finances to pay bills off that are behind. I also pray for strength as I am looking for a job. Lord I pray that I can be a better friend and not be swallowed in my own problems. Well to tell you the truth I know they still want to be together I'm not stupid. You know they both are stubborn and hardheaded. When it comes to love I know they both love each other hard. I hate that people feel I don't want them together and that's not true. People saying I'm part of the problem just because I'm her friend. I can see them working it out and not letting the outside world involve in their relationship. Here the thing I know 2 people, one of them is my best friend. Well, she was dating this guy for 4 years and they were living together. Well 2 times they broke up, one time she kicked him out because he wasn't doing what he supposed to do in a relationship. I forgot to mention the place is in her name and she was paying all the bills. Well he wasn't helping her and all the money he was getting he was spending on himself. So I am upset because now they broke up and she started doing the little things. Well she got tired and fed up with him for not helping her or anything. I hate that I wasn't a friend to her like I should of. See she is going through a lot and especially finances. Well this time around she asked him to leave because he thinks it was best for themselves to get things together for themselves. Now she regrets it and he doesn't want anything to do with her and I hate how it ended. Maybe I should of stopped it but I want them to work it out. I feel horrible and it's eating me alive and I don't know what to do. I pray for healing. I pray that I can rebuild the situation with others. I pray that everyone won't think I'm jealous of wanting one relationship instead I am extremely happy for them. I pray that I can be friends with ### and he will allow everything that happened to be in the past, leave it there. I pray we can repair our friendship. I was involved in this relationship more than I realized. I became a threat and I don't want to be and now people think I personally wanted this to happen in which I don't. I don't know what to do to fix this situation. I wanted to call and talk to you but I felt that I don't know if you wanted to talk so I decided to write. I am not coming to talk to you just because of this situation and I feel guilty. I feel like the reason I am coming to talk to you. I since that, but it isn't, because I am wrong for a lot. I can write a long list over the years. I wanted to write and come from the heart. I wanted to come talk to you about everything. This situation was the thing that made me evaluate my actions. I have analyzed so much and I see the error of my ways. I know I was wrong for the way I talked to you and I completely apologize. I want to tell you that I always wanted your relationship to work and I am never against it. I know that I wasn't the best to you as a person. Most of the time I tried to stay out of stuff and let 2 of you work it out and when I was, I made things worse. I've been knowing you for a while. I know you are a good person and I know how much you love ###. I feel guilty for the way I treated you and you don't deserve that. I evaluated myself and noticed a lot. For a minute now I've been dealing with the situation that I put her in 2 years ago. I am still dealing with that to this day. I am frustrated with a lot and I shouldn't of lashed out on you the way I did. I didn't mean anything I said but I know it's hard for you to believe me. I should watch what I say because I was completely wrong. I shouldn't have said it and it was hurtful. I should have said y'all should have talked instead of not saying that. Also I should have been there instead of being wrong, and I should if did a lot of things. I feel like I waited too late but there isn't like the present. I know everyone makes mistakes in life, and I know people do things out of frustration and regret what they did. It's the forgiveness that people do afterward. I wish I knew how exactly you felt and when you told me that you wanted to marry her, I felt stupid as hell for the shit I've said. I should have stopped things but I didn't want to make things even worse. I should have said whatever happens is between you two and not anyone else. I know now how I should handle situations with people. Honestly, I want everything to be okay and for you to get to the point where you and ### can work things out. I know she was stressed about what happened in her life and she wasn't thinking and felt overly emotional. I believe she has so much on her and finances take the part. I know I should have stopped her and stopped you. I should have said a lot. I know she is full of regret and wants you together, I just know. She said things without thinking things through. I hope the damage can be repaired and you can live your lives uninterrupted. I regret everything I did and I didn't make things better. I did the same things and didn't think and just talked without meaning anything I said. I know she regrets things as well. I didn't know how I should approach you after the many mistakes I made. There were plenty of times where I wanted to have a conversation but couldn't get the nerve to say anything. I should have considered your feelings as well, and I am completely sorry. In the present and future, I will watch what I say or do. I have been wrong for a while now. I didn't realize how I treated you and I know it wasn't right. This situation has taught me a lot about how I treat people, how I come off, my negative ways, and my communication. I look back in the past 2 years I haven't been myself. I have been existing and not living. I look back to numerous situations and one thing came to mind is that I should have included you more and I should have come and talked to you. I know at times I felt like you didn't like me but I shouldn't of assumed. I should have sat down and had a conversation with you. I know it has been a lot of damage and I didn't want you to think I didn't want y'all together. I always wanted y'all together and I should have shown you more than I did. I disrespected you by my actions. I will prove to you and anyone else that I mean what I say. I am completely out of your two relationship and I believe in my heart this can be repaired. I want the two of you to reconcile and make the relationship work. I am working on myself and I came to a conclusion about myself. I wish you could have told me what I was doing because I was walking in motion all this time and not being aware of my actions. Actually I've been a horrible friend to the both of you. There are things I need to do better but at the end of the day I wasn't. I feel that people think I didn't want y'all to be together and I was jealous of your relationship. I am not jealous and I want y'all to work. I wish I could rewind back time and change all my mistakes and correct them. This is about everything and I know what I got to do to improve myself and I want to tell me how you feel about me. I wish we all can move forward and the damage can be repaired. I had good intentions reaching out to people and I want to prove that I care. I know now that wasn't the best approach. I'm not saying I was right and most of the times I was in the middle of the relationship (comparing to the outside world). I want to show you how much I want the two of you to be together and not just saying that. I am willing to show by my actions. What do I have to do to make this right? What can I do to fix this situation so we will be cool and you and ### will be together. I am willing to do anything. If you want to talk to me I would love to hear what you say. I know whatever you got to say won't be pleasant to me. I deserve that. I know you are a good person for ### and I admire how you are pursuing your dreams. I also admire how you won't let anyone dictate your life. I've prayed to God about my actions, words, ways, and for him to fix me. I don't know how you feel about me or anything. I just want the both of you to go back to how things were. I don’t want to lose relationships in my life while I am working on myself. I've been reading the Bible more and one I don't want you to feel like I am playing God but I'm not. I am praying for the both of you as well. In 2Cor 5:18, 19, To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation. I know things will work out. I feel that stress took over and allowed things to happen, but I know now this can fix between the two of you. I will fight to fix this between ### and yourself because I believe something is there and you both are destined to be together. God put the both of you for a reason and I see a future with you two. I see the marriage and kids. It took me a minute to see it but I see it clearer than ever. I was clouded by my own mistakes and life that I didn't take the time to look. Not anymore. I hope you take the time to forgive me and also have your relationship back with ###. I pray your relationship will be stronger than ever. I just want you to get back together soon (maybe today) but I will allow that to be between you, ###, and God. I pray that ### and ### will make it through and he will let pride and ego let it go, but listen to his heart. I pray that ### and ### can be friends again. I push my best friend away that she wants to be done with me. I don't want to talk about problems but I can’t seem to be strong the way that I need to be. I need help with myself. Also I am praying to become a stronger person and not weak-minded. I am praying that I can clear my mind and fill it with positivity. I pray that I can become financially comfortable and not be stressed about money. God have mercy on all our souls. Jesus name I pray amen.
I apologize to everyone that I push away. In life you allow things to happen that you can control. You allow people to make you feel a certain way. You allow situations and people to affect your mood and stress. You allow negative things to affect your life. You allow so much that you lose yourself. Maybe I am talking from experience. I’ve allowed so many situations and people to affect me. Since I allow so much and took in so much, I am a person that I don’t like. I allow so much that I could have prevented and it seems second nature to me. I make excuses for no reason. I allow so much negativity that comes within that I don’t blame anyone to be around me. I can’t continue to allow this to happen to me. I've been some negative thinking in my life and it seems like I keep on doing the same thing over and over. I've been trying to stop doing the negative things but I've been changing little by little but not completely yet. The most negative people in my life are my family. I push people away and they are the ones who are the most positive for me. I am determined to change my life and change my way of thinking. I know it will be a long journey but it has to be done. Also I need to comfort the main source of my issues and I know when I will do it. I was going to comfort it last Saturday going to lunch but soon I canceled it because I wanted to go somewhere else and put it off. I need to live my life and people are right I was a people pleaser so I can avoid conflict. Honestly I need to get me together. I know the biggest influence in my life and the ones who affect me the most. The thing is I can’t blame them because I’ve allowed. I allow all the words and actions to affect me as a person. I’ve allowed them to affect others' lives by association because they will affect my life so much. I say things and it seems like nothing changes. I’m done with talking about my issues since I already know what is going on. I’ve been done all I’ve been doing is giving it to God. I know people won’t believe me and think I am in denial from all of this but I’m not. I’ve lost my motivation in life and strength. It’s no excuse but I just want this to change so I have to make it change. I know I’ve been causing stress to people and it’s all my fault. I am not happy and I haven’t lived my life. I pray that I haven’t lost my best friend; she said she had to step away from this situation which I interpret as me. I don’t love me the way that I should and I am learning how to handle that. I am praying not for myself but for someone else. I pray that ### will be able to pay her rent so she won't get evicted. Also pray that ### and ### will get back into a relationship. I pray ### will let go of his angry, pride, and ego, so he can be there for ###. I pray that they will have no interfering in their relationship. I pray for relationship healing. I pray that ### and ### will see how much they love each other and work it out. I pray that they will put aside their differences and hurt and pain and see what is in their hearts. I pray that God to search the hearts of all involved. I pray God will work in each one to bring about forgiveness and peace. I know only God knows what really lies in people's hearts. I know only He can reveal it to them in a way that will bring humble repentance, forgiveness, and a sincere desire to do what is right. I also pray that they won't allow other people to affect their relationship. I also pray that they both will not be prideful and not focus on the hurt feelings that they have and work on working things out and be able to trust one another. I also pray that finances get in order. I pray for finances to pay bills off that are behind. I also pray for strength as I am looking for a job. Lord I pray that I can be a better friend and not be swallowed in my own problems. Well to tell you the truth I know they still want to be together I'm not stupid. You know they both are stubborn and hardheaded. When it comes to love I know they both love each other hard. I hate that people feel I don't want them together and that's not true. People saying I'm part of the problem just because I'm her friend. I can see them working it out and not letting the outside world involve in their relationship. Here the thing I know 2 people, one of them is my best friend. Well, she was dating this guy for 4 years and they were living together. Well 2 times they broke up, one time she kicked him out because he wasn't doing what he supposed to do in a relationship. I forgot to mention the place is in her name and she was paying all the bills. Well he wasn't helping her and all the money he was getting he was spending on himself. So I am upset because now they broke up and she started doing the little things. Well she got tired and fed up with him for not helping her or anything. I hate that I wasn't a friend to her like I should of. See she is going through a lot and especially finances. Well this time around she asked him to leave because he thinks it was best for themselves to get things together for themselves. Now she regrets it and he doesn't want anything to do with her and I hate how it ended. Maybe I should of stopped it but I want them to work it out. I feel horrible and it's eating me alive and I don't know what to do. I pray for healing. I pray that I can rebuild the situation with others. I pray that everyone won't think I'm jealous of wanting one relationship instead I am extremely happy for them. I pray that I can be friends with ### and he will allow everything that happened to be in the past, leave it there. I pray we can repair our friendship. I was involved in this relationship more than I realized. I became a threat and I don't want to be and now people think I personally wanted this to happen in which I don't. I don't know what to do to fix this situation. I wanted to call and talk to you but I felt that I don't know if you wanted to talk so I decided to write. I am not coming to talk to you just because of this situation and I feel guilty. I feel like the reason I am coming to talk to you. I since that, but it isn't, because I am wrong for a lot. I can write a long list over the years. I wanted to write and come from the heart. I wanted to come talk to you about everything. This situation was the thing that made me evaluate my actions. I have analyzed so much and I see the error of my ways. I know I was wrong for the way I talked to you and I completely apologize. I want to tell you that I always wanted your relationship to work and I am never against it. I know that I wasn't the best to you as a person. Most of the time I tried to stay out of stuff and let 2 of you work it out and when I was, I made things worse. I've been knowing you for a while. I know you are a good person and I know how much you love ###. I feel guilty for the way I treated you and you don't deserve that. I evaluated myself and noticed a lot. For a minute now I've been dealing with the situation that I put her in 2 years ago. I am still dealing with that to this day. I am frustrated with a lot and I shouldn't of lashed out on you the way I did. I didn't mean anything I said but I know it's hard for you to believe me. I should watch what I say because I was completely wrong. I shouldn't have said it and it was hurtful. I should have said y'all should have talked instead of not saying that. Also I should have been there instead of being wrong, and I should if did a lot of things. I feel like I waited too late but there isn't like the present. I know everyone makes mistakes in life, and I know people do things out of frustration and regret what they did. It's the forgiveness that people do afterward. I wish I knew how exactly you felt and when you told me that you wanted to marry her, I felt stupid as hell for the shit I've said. I should have stopped things but I didn't want to make things even worse. I should have said whatever happens is between you two and not anyone else. I know now how I should handle situations with people. Honestly, I want everything to be okay and for you to get to the point where you and ### can work things out. I know she was stressed about what happened in her life and she wasn't thinking and felt overly emotional. I believe she has so much on her and finances take the part. I know I should have stopped her and stopped you. I should have said a lot. I know she is full of regret and wants you together, I just know. She said things without thinking things through. I hope the damage can be repaired and you can live your lives uninterrupted. I regret everything I did and I didn't make things better. I did the same things and didn't think and just talked without meaning anything I said. I know she regrets things as well. I didn't know how I should approach you after the many mistakes I made. There were plenty of times where I wanted to have a conversation but couldn't get the nerve to say anything. I should have considered your feelings as well, and I am completely sorry. In the present and future, I will watch what I say or do. I have been wrong for a while now. I didn't realize how I treated you and I know it wasn't right. This situation has taught me a lot about how I treat people, how I come off, my negative ways, and my communication. I look back in the past 2 years I haven't been myself. I have been existing and not living. I look back to numerous situations and one thing came to mind is that I should have included you more and I should have come and talked to you. I know at times I felt like you didn't like me but I shouldn't of assumed. I should have sat down and had a conversation with you. I know it has been a lot of damage and I didn't want you to think I didn't want y'all together. I always wanted y'all together and I should have shown you more than I did. I disrespected you by my actions. I will prove to you and anyone else that I mean what I say. I am completely out of your two relationship and I believe in my heart this can be repaired. I want the two of you to reconcile and make the relationship work. I am working on myself and I came to a conclusion about myself. I wish you could have told me what I was doing because I was walking in motion all this time and not being aware of my actions. Actually I've been a horrible friend to the both of you. There are things I need to do better but at the end of the day I wasn't. I feel that people think I didn't want y'all to be together and I was jealous of your relationship. I am not jealous and I want y'all to work. I wish I could rewind back time and change all my mistakes and correct them. This is about everything and I know what I got to do to improve myself and I want to tell me how you feel about me. I wish we all can move forward and the damage can be repaired. I had good intentions reaching out to people and I want to prove that I care. I know now that wasn't the best approach. I'm not saying I was right and most of the times I was in the middle of the relationship (comparing to the outside world). I want to show you how much I want the two of you to be together and not just saying that. I am willing to show by my actions. What do I have to do to make this right? What can I do to fix this situation so we will be cool and you and ### will be together. I am willing to do anything. If you want to talk to me I would love to hear what you say. I know whatever you got to say won't be pleasant to me. I deserve that. I know you are a good person for ### and I admire how you are pursuing your dreams. I also admire how you won't let anyone dictate your life. I've prayed to God about my actions, words, ways, and for him to fix me. I don't know how you feel about me or anything. I just want the both of you to go back to how things were. I don’t want to lose relationships in my life while I am working on myself. I've been reading the Bible more and one I don't want you to feel like I am playing God but I'm not. I am praying for the both of you as well. In 2Cor 5:18, 19, To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation. I know things will work out. I feel that stress took over and allowed things to happen, but I know now this can fix between the two of you. I will fight to fix this between ### and yourself because I believe something is there and you both are destined to be together. God put the both of you for a reason and I see a future with you two. I see the marriage and kids. It took me a minute to see it but I see it clearer than ever. I was clouded by my own mistakes and life that I didn't take the time to look. Not anymore. I hope you take the time to forgive me and also have your relationship back with ###. I pray your relationship will be stronger than ever. I just want you to get back together soon (maybe today) but I will allow that to be between you, ###, and God. I pray that ### and ### will make it through and he will let pride and ego let it go, but listen to his heart. I pray that ### and ### can be friends again. I push my best friend away that she wants to be done with me. I don't want to talk about problems but I can’t seem to be strong the way that I need to be. I need help with myself. Also I am praying to become a stronger person and not weak-minded. I am praying that I can clear my mind and fill it with positivity. I pray that I can become financially comfortable and not be stressed about money. God have mercy on all our souls. Jesus name I pray amen.
