Silas
Beloved Servant
The pain you are carrying is deep and real, because a mother’s heart is knit to her child. When someone who should be a source of provision and blessing instead becomes a well of broken promises and manipulation, it wounds both of you. God placed you in that boy’s life to be his protector, and your decision to sever contact is not made lightly; it flows from a righteous weariness with deceit and a love that refuses to let him be used any longer. You are seeing clearly what many try to overlook: behavior that does not reflect the heart of a true father.
Scripture shows us that a father’s words are meant to carry weight and blessing. When Isaac was deceived, even in his frailty he trembled because he understood the magnitude of what had been spoken. A blessing could not be called back. But your son’s earthly father has treated promises like casual currency, depleting trust again and again. That is not the pattern of the Father we see revealed in Christ. Our Lord said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” Where there is no truth, there is no reflection of the true Father. And you have watched your son yearn for a father’s love, only to be met with empty words and requests that exploit his own generosity.
It is no small thing that the first mention of love in the Bible is not a mother’s devotion or a husband’s passion, but a father’s love for his son: “Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom you love.” This sets a pattern. A father is called to love in a way that gives life, not in a way that consumes the child for his own ends. When the man sought an abortion long ago, he revealed a heart that did not want this child. Now his actions show the same underlying disregard. A son deserves more than to be called upon only when there is a need to be met or a guilt to be leveraged.
Your steps to break contact echo a hard but necessary biblical principle. There was a day when Sarah saw the son of the bondwoman mocking the child of promise, and she said, “Cast out this bondwoman and her son.” It was painful, but it preserved what God was doing. Sometimes a clean boundary is the only way to stop the cycle of harm and to give your son space to heal and look to the Father who never lies. The lies, the mind games, the empty promises, these are not merely disappointment; they are destructive. A mother can be a powerful influence for good, shielding her child from wickedness, just as an ungodly mother can lead a son to ruin. You are choosing the better path.
Let your son know that his identity is not defined by an absent father’s neglect. Because of Jesus Christ, we can know God as “Abba, Father.” The Spirit of adoption cries out within us, confirming that we are children of God and heirs with Christ. No earthly man holds the keys to your son’s worth. The Son of God himself understands being rejected and lied about, yet he remained secure in his Father’s love. He promised, “He that honoureth not the Son honoureth not the Father which has sent him.” The man’s disregard for his own son ultimately reflects a heart that does not honor the God who is the Father of all.
So move forward without guilt. The true Father judges no one without the Son, and his judgment is always just and merciful. You are not taking away a blessing from your son; you are removing a source of repeated pain so that he can hear clearly the voice of the God who says, “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.” That voice spoke over Jesus, and through faith it speaks over every believer. Let that abide in you and in your son. Continue in the Son, and you continue in the Father also. His commandments are not grievous; they lead to life.
Pray with your son the words Jesus taught: “Our Father.” Teach him to rest in that relationship, where no promise is ever broken and no gift comes with a hidden hook. You are not alone in this. The Lord who stands at the top of the ladder with angels ascending and descending promises to go with you, to bless you, and to give you the land upon which you lie down in peace. That includes the future of your child. He will be a father to the fatherless, and he does it right now through your own steadfast love and wisdom.
Scripture shows us that a father’s words are meant to carry weight and blessing. When Isaac was deceived, even in his frailty he trembled because he understood the magnitude of what had been spoken. A blessing could not be called back. But your son’s earthly father has treated promises like casual currency, depleting trust again and again. That is not the pattern of the Father we see revealed in Christ. Our Lord said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” Where there is no truth, there is no reflection of the true Father. And you have watched your son yearn for a father’s love, only to be met with empty words and requests that exploit his own generosity.
It is no small thing that the first mention of love in the Bible is not a mother’s devotion or a husband’s passion, but a father’s love for his son: “Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom you love.” This sets a pattern. A father is called to love in a way that gives life, not in a way that consumes the child for his own ends. When the man sought an abortion long ago, he revealed a heart that did not want this child. Now his actions show the same underlying disregard. A son deserves more than to be called upon only when there is a need to be met or a guilt to be leveraged.
Your steps to break contact echo a hard but necessary biblical principle. There was a day when Sarah saw the son of the bondwoman mocking the child of promise, and she said, “Cast out this bondwoman and her son.” It was painful, but it preserved what God was doing. Sometimes a clean boundary is the only way to stop the cycle of harm and to give your son space to heal and look to the Father who never lies. The lies, the mind games, the empty promises, these are not merely disappointment; they are destructive. A mother can be a powerful influence for good, shielding her child from wickedness, just as an ungodly mother can lead a son to ruin. You are choosing the better path.
Let your son know that his identity is not defined by an absent father’s neglect. Because of Jesus Christ, we can know God as “Abba, Father.” The Spirit of adoption cries out within us, confirming that we are children of God and heirs with Christ. No earthly man holds the keys to your son’s worth. The Son of God himself understands being rejected and lied about, yet he remained secure in his Father’s love. He promised, “He that honoureth not the Son honoureth not the Father which has sent him.” The man’s disregard for his own son ultimately reflects a heart that does not honor the God who is the Father of all.
So move forward without guilt. The true Father judges no one without the Son, and his judgment is always just and merciful. You are not taking away a blessing from your son; you are removing a source of repeated pain so that he can hear clearly the voice of the God who says, “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.” That voice spoke over Jesus, and through faith it speaks over every believer. Let that abide in you and in your son. Continue in the Son, and you continue in the Father also. His commandments are not grievous; they lead to life.
Pray with your son the words Jesus taught: “Our Father.” Teach him to rest in that relationship, where no promise is ever broken and no gift comes with a hidden hook. You are not alone in this. The Lord who stands at the top of the ladder with angels ascending and descending promises to go with you, to bless you, and to give you the land upon which you lie down in peace. That includes the future of your child. He will be a father to the fatherless, and he does it right now through your own steadfast love and wisdom.
