Prayer for my ###

[Asteondion]

My wife has a pretty bad spiritual condition. Every single day she is yelling at me and complaining about everything I do, but I’m literally doing normal things like eating, sleeping, taking a shower.. and I’m doing what I can not to upset her. I can only do so much before it gets to the point of walking on eggshells.. and she’s demanding apologies all day long and I’m doing my best to make her happy, but when I get close to her, she uses that to her advantage and begins being meaner to me. I don’t know where she learned this behavior, I think it is from her dad. Her dad is in his ###’s and still treats her mother this way. Please pray for my wife and her family. I am tired of living like this.

 

[Articles]

We have heard your cry and we are lifting you, your wife, and her family before the throne of grace together in Jesus name. We understand how weary and heavy this has become for you, to feel that you must walk on eggshells in your own home for simply doing normal daily things like eating, sleeping, and caring for yourself, and to be met with constant yelling, complaining, and demands for apologies. The Lord sees your faithfulness and your exhaustion, and He cares deeply for your marriage.

We want to affirm that marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman designed by God to reflect the love of Christ for His church, and we honor your desire to see your marriage healed rather than abandoned. What you describe in your wife is not reflecting the pattern God has given for a godly wife and marriage. Scripture calls wives to respect their husbands and calls both husband and wife to build one another up in love. Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear Eph 4:29. Husbands are also called to love their wives and not be bitter against them Col 3:19, and wives are called to respect their husbands Eph 5:33. When closeness is used as an opportunity to be meaner, and when apologies are demanded all day as a form of control, that is not love, for love is patient and is kind, love does not behave itself inappropriately, does not seek its own way, is not provoked Eph 13:4-5. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger Prov 15:1. We lovingly rebuke this pattern of yelling, constant complaining, and manipulation in your wife, and we also recognize what you have observed that she may have learned this from her father. This kind of generational pattern is spiritual bondage that must be broken by repentance and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, who produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control Gal 5:22-23.

We also want to encourage you, brother. You cannot make your wife happy by endlessly appeasing her or offering apologies that are demanded through pressure. That will only leave you more depleted and will not lead her toward repentance. We are called to speak truth in love Eph 4:15 and to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger James 1:19. Loving your wife as Christ loved the church Eph 5:25 does not mean accepting verbal abuse or living in fear, for there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear 1 John 4:18. It means continuing to love her sacrificially while also setting godly boundaries, refusing to participate in strife, responding with calm gentleness rather than retaliation, and seeking wise biblical counsel together. We strongly encourage you to seek a trusted pastor or mature Christian counselor who can walk with you both face to face, to hold you both accountable to Scripture and to help break this learned behavior. You need support and you should not carry this burden alone.

We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and find salvation and true change of heart. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If we confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in our heart that God raised Him from the dead, we will be saved Rom 10:9. It is only by His blood and His Spirit that your wife can be freed from this spiritual condition, and that you can find strength to endure and love well.

We pray together for you now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ and we lift this husband and his wife and her family to You. Lord, You see the pain in this home, the daily strife, the harsh words, and the weariness of this husband who is trying to do what is right. We ask You to have mercy. Convict our sister of the sin of her harsh tongue and complaining spirit, and grant her repentance that leads to life. Soften her heart, Lord, and heal the wounds and learned patterns she received from her father. Break the chain of this behavior in her family line, and bring her father also to repentance for how he has treated her mother. Fill her with Your Holy Spirit so that her words may bring grace and not wounds. Father, strengthen this husband. Give him wisdom to love his wife as Christ loves the church, with truth and grace, not with fear. Guard him from bitterness, renew his strength as he waits on You, and give him courage to seek godly counsel and to lead his home in peace. Let Your peace rule in this marriage, and let what You have joined together not be torn apart Matt 19:6. Restore tenderness, respect, and kindness between them, and make their marriage a testimony of Your redeeming power. We ask all this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We can hear how worn down you are, trying so hard to keep the peace around even simple, normal things like eating or getting rest, and still feeling like you are walking on eggshells. It makes sense you feel tired and perplexed when trying to get closer is met with harsher words and constant demands for apologies. Thank you for reaching out and for wanting prayer for your wife and her family even while you are hurting.

When criticism and yelling become daily, it can slowly wear away a person's confidence and sense of worth, and leave you confused about what is your responsibility and what is not. Seeing a repeated pattern, including what you have noticed in her family, can help you stop blaming yourself for just living your everyday life.

One steady next step that often helps in this kind of strain is to talk with one trusted pastor or Christian counselor on your own at first. Having someone listen carefully to the details, help you sort through what is healthy to own and what is not, and help you think through calm, consistent boundaries and ongoing support can bring clarity. You do not have to carry this or figure out every answer alone.

We are lifting you both before the Lord now. Father, in Jesus' name we bring this husband before You, tired and wanting peace in his home. Give him rest, wisdom for each conversation, and strength to walk in what is good and true. Work gently in his wife's heart and in her family where old patterns have taken hold, bring healing where it is needed, and guide them to wise, safe help. Draw near to them and lead them day by day. Amen.

 

[Stitcher]

I have prayed for this in the precious name of Jesus. Amen

 

[halleluiah33]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Zedekiah]

We prayvtogether as one church. May God heal your marriage and help you prosper. Only continue to turn toward him in seeking him. Daily prayer. Worship often and include a relwtionship with the Father and Son in your life often and he will give you help and we will continue praying as often as you request may God bless in Lord Yeshua name. Amen.

 

[Violetblue]

Praying that God will intervene for you and your wife. I am sorry you are dealing with such a difficult situation - You’re making every effort to please your wife, only to be given negativity. You deserve to be treated with kindness, love and respect. If at all possible, try to communicate with your wife how you are feeling and that you cannot be expected to continue living under such immense stress. This is not healthy for you.
Praying for you and supporting you in the name of Jesus.

 

[EnricoLange]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your burden has been laid before the Lord and we thank you for sharing so honestly what you are carrying day after day. To be met with yelling and complaint for the simplest things of life, for eating, sleeping, taking a shower, and to feel that you must walk on eggshells and offer apologies without end while kindness is met with greater harshness, is a wearying trial. It is right that you are tired, and it is right that you have sought prayer, for the Lord sees and hears.

We also hear your concern that this pattern may have been learned in her home, as you have watched her father treat her mother in the same way even into later years. Scripture shows us that hard hearts can become settled when truth is long refused. Our Lord Jesus himself looked upon such hardness with anger and grief, not because He delights in anger, but because men would not see what was plain and would not let Him bless them. That holy sorrow reminds us that God does not take lightly a tongue that wounds within the household, and He calls all of us to a tender and truthful heart.

The Word sets before husbands a high and holy calling, that as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her, so a husband is to love his wife with a special and particular love, lavished upon her alone. This love is patient and kind, it does not return evil for evil, and it seeks her good even when it is not returned. You have sought to do this, doing what you can not to upset her and drawing near even when it has cost you. The Lord notes that faithfulness.

At the same time the gospel holds out the great word which we love to repeat, There is forgiveness. Not from man only, but with God. I, even I, am He that blotteth out thy transgressions. It is a divine forgiveness, a surprising forgiveness, a complete forgiveness, an eternal forgiveness, and it is present now for the chief of sinners who will turn with a penitent heart and trust in Christ. However sinful the past has been, there is forgiveness with God through Jesus Christ His Son who died the Just for the unjust to bring us to God. This is the hope we hold out for your wife, for her father and mother, and for you. No family pattern, no long habit of harsh words, is beyond the reach of that mercy, yet it must be sought where it is to be found, with God, by repentance and faith.

If you are in Christ, you have already known that forgiveness which not only pardoned you at the first but continues daily to forgive, and you are called to reflect it. To forgive as you have been forgiven does not mean to say that hurt is not hurt, or to live without wise boundaries, or to invite further wounding by pretending all is well. It means to release the debt into the hands of God, to not hold the tally against her before the Lord, and to desire her healing more than her punishment. Some have found it help to remember three words, for Christ's sake, for we forgive as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven us. That remembrance makes forgiveness possible when nature says it is impossible.

So we would counsel you in the Lord to keep two things together. Keep a soft heart before God, quick to forgive and ready to seek forgiveness where you have failed, and keep a wise and sober mind in practice. Do not seek peace by walking on eggshells alone. Speak the truth in love at a calm moment, not to accuse but to bear witness, that daily yelling and constant demands for apology are not the way of love and wear down the home. Seek the help of faithful pastors or elders who can know you both, counsel you face to face, and walk with you over time. Do not bear this alone. Continue in prayer, continue in the ordinary duties of kindness, and set loving boundaries that protect both of you from patterns that grieve the Lord. If harshness should ever come to threaten safety, seek help at once from those near you.

We are praying for you and for your household.

We pray that the Lord would show your wife her need of His forgiveness and grant her a penitent heart that desires it, that He would open her eyes to see how her words wound and give her grace to turn from them. We pray that He would visit her family, that what has been learned by long example would be broken by new birth, and that her father and mother would also know His healing mercy. We pray that He would strengthen you with patience and wisdom, guard you from bitterness, keep you close to Christ, and provide godly counsel around you so that you are not isolated in this trial. May He make your home a place where forgiveness sought and forgiveness shown bear fruit in gentleness, and where the love of Christ for His spouse is more and more reflected in your love for yours.

Cast your care upon Him, for He careth for you, and keep looking to Him who is able to restore as though we had not been cast aside, and to make all things new.