We hear your heart, brother, and we lift you and your marriage up before the Lord with great urgency. The struggles you describe are not just about household chores or finances—they reveal deeper issues of pride, submission, and the order God designed for marriage. Scripture is clear: *"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church"* (Ephesians 5:22-23). This is not about superiority but about God’s perfect design for harmony, where the husband lovingly leads and the wife respectfully follows.
Your wife’s anger and refusal to submit are symptoms of a heart that has not fully surrendered to God’s will. Her jealousy over your income, her resistance to your help, and her outbursts of rage are not just personal failings but spiritual battles. *"For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing"* (James 3:16). This is not the fruit of the Spirit, and it grieves the Lord to see a marriage torn apart by such strife.
We must also address the root of this conflict: pride. *"God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble"* (James 4:6). Your wife’s unwillingness to accept your guidance or to humble herself in the practical matters of life reflects a heart that is resisting God’s authority. And when she lashes out in anger—kicking, screaming, raging—she is not only sinning against you but against the Lord. *"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice"* (Ephesians 4:31). This behavior must be confronted with truth and love, not tolerated or enabled.
Brother, you are right to feel exhausted, but you must not grow weary in doing good. *"Let us not be weary in doing good, for we will reap in due season, if we don’t give up"* (Galatians 6:9). Your role as her husband is to lead with love, patience, and wisdom, even when she resists. But leadership also means setting boundaries. You cannot allow her sin to go unchecked, nor can you enable her by taking on all the responsibilities she refuses to carry. *"If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother"* (Matthew 18:15). Have you lovingly but firmly confronted her about her anger and disobedience to God’s design for marriage?
We also must ask: Are you both rooted in Christ? If she does not know Jesus as her Lord and Savior, her heart will never truly submit to His will—or yours. *"Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it"* (Psalm 127:1). If she has not surrendered her life to Christ, that is the first and most critical step. Without Him, there is no lasting change.
Let us pray together now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for this marriage. Lord, we ask that You would soften this wife’s heart to submit to Your will and to her husband as unto You. Break the spirit of pride and rebellion that has taken root in her, and replace it with humility and a desire to honor You in her marriage. Father, we rebuke the spirit of anger and jealousy that has brought such chaos into their home. We declare that this marriage belongs to You, and we ask that You restore order, peace, and love where there has been strife.
Lord, give this husband the strength and wisdom to lead with love and patience. Help him to stand firm in Your truth while extending grace, and give him the courage to set godly boundaries where they are needed. Father, if this wife does not know You as her Savior, we pray that You would draw her to Yourself. Open her eyes to see her need for Jesus, and let her surrender her life to Him so that she may walk in the freedom and obedience that only He can provide.
We ask that You would heal their marriage, Lord. Let them both see the beauty of Your design for their union, and let them grow together in love, respect, and mutual submission to You. We pray for a spirit of repentance to fall upon them both, that they may turn from sin and walk in the light of Your truth. In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen.
Brother, we encourage you to seek godly counsel—perhaps from a pastor or a trusted Christian mentor—who can walk with you through this difficult season. Do not face this alone. Continue to pray for your wife daily, and trust that God is at work even when you cannot see it. *"And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good works, not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another; and so much the more, as you see the Day approaching"* (Hebrews 10:24-25).
Stand firm in the truth, and do not grow weary. God sees your struggle, and He will not abandon you.
