Prayer For My Marriage

[Riornarvale]

I suffer from mental health along with my husband. I try not to talk about work with my husband an issue had arise I didn’t talk to my husband about it, it caused me to be even more depressed sad frustrated angry and I had lashed out on him. I know I shouldn’t have I completely regret it cause I’m so hurt and I can imagine how he feels. I love my husband to death, I had apologized but he seems to have so much anger and resentment towards me. I know I should have allowed him to talk and not take it personal or to heart but last night I did. He said he was moving out so I got up out of bed and moved his suitcase case and plastic draws. I know I shouldn’t have done that. I feel saddened. I feel overwhelmed. Nothing I’m doing is working. I’m trying to save and fight for my marriage. I know every marriage isn’t perfect and there’s up and downs. But when my husband has this mindset he manifests the anger and hurt blaming me for everything. I need all the prayers and support strength I can get

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep pain and heaviness in your heart and we are lifting you and your husband up before the Lord together. We understand how overwhelming it feels when both of you are suffering with mental health struggles, and when hurt, depression, anger and frustration build up until words and actions come out that you deeply regret. We commend you for loving your husband, for wanting to fight for your marriage, and for humbly recognizing where you have lashed out and reacted in a way you wish you had not.

Marriage is a sacred covenant before God between a man and a woman for life, and God desires to be the center of it. What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart, Matthew 19:6. His design is that husband and wife would love, honor, and bear with one another through every up and down, and we rejoice that you want to save and fight for your marriage rather than give up on it.

We want to gently and lovingly speak to what you have shared, because God calls us to truth in love. When hurt builds and we do not bring it to God and to our spouse in a healthy way, it can overflow into sin. Be angry, and don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, Ephesians 4:26. Lashing out at your husband, even out of deep sadness and frustration, wounds him and does not reflect the love we are called to. Love is patient and is kind, 1 Corinthians 13:4, and A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger, Proverbs 15:1. Moving his suitcase and drawers when he said he was moving out, while understandable in your fear and hurt, was also not helpful and may have felt controlling or dismissive of his feelings. We encourage you to continue to own this before God and before him without excuse, as you have begun to do. And we also see your husband’s response of holding onto anger and resentment and blaming you for everything is not God’s way either. Husbands, love your wives, and don’t be bitter against them, Colossians 3:19. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you, Ephesians 4:32. Both of you will need to choose forgiveness daily and to let go of bitterness so it does not take root.

We also hear that you try not to talk about work with your husband but then the burden grew heavier until you could not carry it alone. God does not intend for you to carry this alone, and He does not intend for your marriage to be without honest, gentle communication. Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear, Ephesians 4:29. So, my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, James 1:19. Learning to listen to each other without taking it personally, to speak the truth in love at the right time, and to bear one another’s burdens is essential, especially when mental health is fragile. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ, Galatians 6:2. We encourage you both to seek wise, biblical counsel together, whether a pastor or a trusted Christian counselor, who can help you develop tools to talk about hard things, to manage anger, and to support each other’s mental health in a godly way. Do not be ashamed to seek help, for God often uses His people to bring healing.

In your overwhelm and sadness, remember that God is near and He is your strength. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit, Psalm 34:18. Don’t be anxious for anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus, Philippians 4:6-7. Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you, 1 Peter 5:7. His grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness, 2 Corinthians 12:9. We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose, Romans 8:28, even when nothing you are doing seems to be working.

We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus Christ that we have access to the Father and find true hope and salvation. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. If you have not already, we encourage you to put your full trust in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, and to call upon His name daily for mercy, forgiveness, and help. He is the only One who can truly heal hearts and marriages.

We pray together for you now.

Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ and we lift this dear sister and her husband to You. Lord, You see her brokenness, her regret, her love for her husband, and her desire to fight for this marriage covenant. We ask You to forgive her for the times she has lashed out in anger and reacted out of hurt, and to forgive her husband for holding onto anger and resentment. Wash them both in Your mercy and help them to forgive each other as You have forgiven us. Lord, calm their spirits and heal their minds. You know the weight of depression, sadness, and frustration they both carry. Bring Your peace that surpasses all understanding to guard their hearts. Teach them to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, and to speak to each other with gentleness and grace. Remove the spirit of blame and division and replace it with humility, patience, and tenderheartedness. Protect this marriage from separation, Lord, and give them both a renewed commitment to stay and to work through this together with You at the center. Provide godly counsel and support around them, and give them strength for each day. Help them to cast every care on You and to find their hope not in their own efforts but in Christ. We ask that Your will be done in their lives and in their marriage, and that You would be glorified as You bring restoration and healing. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

We encourage you to continue to pray daily for your husband by name, to pray together if he is willing, to stay in the Word together, and to keep choosing love and forgiveness even when emotions are raw. Love covers a multitude of sins, 1 Peter 4:8. Do not grow weary in doing what is right, for God is faithful and He sees your fight for this marriage. We are standing with you and asking God to strengthen you and to bring peace and reconciliation to your home.

 

[hostadmin]

We heard the weight in your note and how much love you have for your husband. Wanting to protect your marriage while feeling overwhelmed, sad and frustrated is a heavy place to be, and we are grateful you reached out for prayer.

It makes sense that when both of you are carrying mental health struggles, a disagreement at work that you kept inside could spill over at home. Regret after lashing out, and the ache of seeing anger and resentment in return, can leave you feeling stuck even when you are trying hard to make things right. Moving his things when he said he was leaving is understandable in that moment of hurt, and it is good you can see you wish you had responded differently.

One gentle next step that may help is to give a little space while staying kind and clear. A brief, sincere apology without pressing for an immediate response can let him know you mean it, and then allowing him time to process may keep things from escalating. Since you mentioned mental health for both of you, we encourage you to continue reaching out to a trusted pastor or counselor and to a medical or mental health professional for support alongside prayer, not instead of it. If you have a safe person in your life, let them walk with you too.

Father, we lift this couple to You in Jesus' name. Bring calm where there is hurt and overwhelm, give them wisdom for their next words and steps, and help them hear each other with patience and grace. Guard their health and guide them to wise support as they seek Your direction for their marriage. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your sorrow and confession have been heard with deep tenderness, and we have carried your burden before the throne of grace.

You speak honestly of anger spoken in haste, of regret, of a love that desires to fight for the covenant you made before God. In seasons when the mind is heavy with depression and frustration, words and deeds can wound the very one we most love, and the aftermath leaves a weight of sadness and overwhelm. The Lord sees this heaviness and He is near to the brokenhearted.

Hear what the Word declares for such a moment as this. There is forgiveness with God. The prophet hears Him say, I, even I, am He that blotteth out thy transgressions. It is a divine forgiveness, not the mere pardon of man, and it is surprising forgiveness, so full and free that it seems too great to be true. Yet it is true. However your life has been marked, whatever has been spoken or done in anger, there is forgiveness with Him, and it is complete. When He forgives, the debt is blotted out, the record is nailed to the cross, and He keeps no back reckonings. He not only forgave at the first, but He continues daily to forgive, and that forgiveness is eternal. This is the hope for your own soul tonight. If you tremble under a sense of sin and failure, come to Christ who died, the Just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God. Confess plainly, believe in the forgiveness of sins through His blood, and receive that great forgiveness for great sin which is so entire it is as though it had never been.

That same forgiveness is the pattern for your home. We are taught, even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. Christ gently rebuked His disciples but never spoke in settled anger, and His life was crowned by His prayer for those who wounded Him, Father, forgive them. To forgive as He forgave is not to excuse what was wrong, but to release the debt, to keep no reserves of anger, and to desire reconciliation. This is a joint work of mutual forgiveness, and members of one household should take large shares in it. Your apology was right and good. Now pray that the Lord will soften both hearts, yours and your husband's, to speak truth in love, to listen without taking offense to heart, and to extend the same longsuffering you have received.

In seeking to save and strengthen your marriage, walk in humility and patience. To move his belongings in a moment of hurt, though you now regret it, can stir further anger. It is better to give space where needed, to speak calmly when both are able to hear, and to invite wise and godly counsel. Seek your pastor or a mature believing counselor who holds to the lifelong covenant of marriage, and seek also faithful help for the burden of mental health which you both carry. These afflictions are not a mark of failure in faith, but they do call for care, for prayer, for honest communication, and for support from the body of Christ. Do not fight for this marriage alone. Let others bear the burden with you, pray with you, and help you guard your words and actions when emotions run high.

We are praying for you and for your husband.

O Father, with whom there is forgiveness, we thank You that You blot out transgression for Your own sake. Look upon this daughter who is saddened and overwhelmed, and upon her husband who is angry and wounded. Grant to both a fresh sense of Your complete and eternal forgiveness through Jesus Christ. Create in them clean hearts and quiet minds. Teach them to forgive one another even as Christ has forgiven them, to speak with gentleness, to bear with one another in love, and to be knit together again in the covenant they vowed before You. Give strength for each day, wisdom for each conversation, and help from faithful friends and counselors. Keep this marriage under Your hand and make it a testimony of Your restoring grace. In the name of Jesus our Redeemer we ask it, Amen.