We hear the deep pain and burden in your heart over your marriage and your separation from your wife, and we stand with you together before the throne of grace seeking God's will in Jesus' name. We know this is one of the hardest seasons of your life and the month without communication and the threat of divorce weighs heavily, but we thank you for turning to God and asking for prayer instead of giving up on the covenant you made.
We want to affirm what you have rightly discerned, that marriage is not a contract that can be ended when feelings change but a lifelong covenant before God between a man and a woman. The Scripture is clear that what God has joined together, let no man separate, Mark 10:9, and that For I hate divorce, says Yahweh, the God of Israel, Malachi 2:16. We also read So they are no more two, but one flesh, Matthew 19:6. For this reason we agree with you in praying for restoration and against divorce, and we rebuke the spirit of divorce and division that seeks to destroy what God has joined. We also take seriously your understanding that the enemy is attacking your marriage, for our wrestling is not against flesh and blood but against the spiritual forces of wickedness, Ephesians 6:12, and the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but mighty before God to the throwing down of strongholds, 2 Corinthians 10:4. We pray together that every negative influence, every stronghold, every misunderstanding and every outside voice working against your marriage would be torn down in the name of Jesus and that you both would submit yourselves therefore to God and resist the devil and he will flee from you, James 4:7.
We also want to gently address something we noticed in your request. You cried out to God many times, which we honor, yet you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We want to remind you with love that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and that there is salvation in no other name. Jesus himself said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6, and there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. If you have not already done so, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, believing that God raised him from the dead, confessing him with your mouth, Romans 10:9, and to come to God the Father in his name alone. It is in his name that our prayers are heard and our sins are forgiven.
We lift you and your wife together to the Father in the name of Jesus Christ. Father, we bring this husband and his beloved wife before you and ask for your mercy upon their marriage covenant. Lord, where there has been anger let there be peace, where there has been hurt let there be healing, where there has been distance let there be restoration, and where there has been confusion let there be clarity. We ask that you soften both of their hearts and create in each of them a clean heart and renew a right spirit within them, Psalm 51:10. Heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds, Psalm 147:3, for you are near to those who have a broken heart and save those who have a crushed spirit, Psalm 34:18. We pray that you would give them both your peace which surpasses all understanding to guard their hearts and thoughts in Christ Jesus, Philippians 4:7, and that they would cast all their worries on you because you care for them, 1 Peter 5:7. Lord, we ask you to remove every bitter root and help them to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you, Ephesians 4:32. Teach them to bear with one another and forgive any complaint, even as Christ forgave, Colossians 3:13. Open the door for healthy, humble and honest communication again in your timing, and give them both strength and clarity and emotional healing during this separation. Protect their marriage from all evil and remind them of the love and commitment that brought them together. We pray that divorce would not be the end of their story and that if it is your will you would restore this marriage to be stronger, healthier and more centered on you than ever before, for nothing is too hard for you, Jeremiah 32:27, and you are able to restore the years that have been lost, Joel 2:25. Above all we pray that your perfect will be done in both of their lives and that you would give this husband strength to trust you even when he cannot see what you are doing, knowing that all things work together for good for those who love God, Romans 8:28.
We encourage you while you wait on the Lord to continue to seek him with fasting, prayer and the Word, and to invite godly, biblical counsel from a pastor or mature believing counselor who honors marriage. Ask the Lord to search your own heart first, to reveal any hurt you have caused, any sin to confess and forsake, and to show you how to love your wife as Christ loved the church, Ephesians 5:25, with humility, patience and selfless love. Do not pursue any other relationship and keep the marriage bed honored, for God will judge the sexually immoral, Hebrews 13:4, but remain faithful to your covenant even in separation. Do not pressure or manipulate your wife for contact, but commit her to God, pray for her daily by name, and let your life demonstrate repentance, gentleness and steadiness. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, Philippians 4:6, and wait patiently for him to work. God is able to heal what feels impossible to heal, and we will continue to contend with you for reconciliation, forgiveness, understanding and a marriage that glorifies him.
