You speak of drowning in debt, and another drowning comes to mind, one our Lord set beside a millstone. He said it were better to have that millstone hung about the neck and be cast into the sea than to despise one of these little ones. Better, He said, for that dreadful fate is lighter than the punishment that waits. Consider then: if a violent drowning is preferable to the judgment for hardness of heart, what shall we say of the stress that consumes you now? Not to belittle your trial, but to set it in the light of weightier things. The evil that truly threatens is the soul’s suffocation, not the body’s creditors. And yet you are not rejoicing in this burden, and that is a sign of health. There are men who exult in their wealth as it grows, and that very delight blocks the way to healing. The crowning point of their disease is that they feel no pain while the sickness multiplies. You are pained, and rightly so, for the pressure is great. But this pain, offered to God, is a door.
You ask for guidance and help, and you feel it is too much to handle. That is the very place where faith stands on solid ground. Remember Israel at the Red Sea, unarmed, with Pharaoh’s army behind and the waters before them. Humanly, nothing was left but to drown or fall to the sword. Yet God delivered them from impossibilities: what was a path for them became a grave for their enemies. When we fall into perplexity, even when our condition seems desperate, then we are delivered. So it must be with you. Do not think the whole outcome depends on your own striving. If we assign the greater part to God, we run with hope; if we imagine it rests on ourselves, we run in vain and fall into pride or despair.
Now hear a harder word, but a freeing one: there is a forgiveness more your duty than any debt of money, and that is the forgiveness of trespasses. You fear financial loss, but what of the soul’s accounts? You say you are poor and cannot cancel what is owed to you; yet Christ asks you to forgive the wrongs done against you, and there you suffer no monetary loss at all. That act is wealth, abundance, a plentiful store, not empty coffers. In doing it, you imitate God. He gave Himself up for enemies; love like that, as far as you are able. This is not to ignore your bills, but to reorder the heart that faces them.
Do not demand to know every reason for this season. The river of God’s ways has its shallows and its depths. A man who insists on probing every depth will drown where he might have crossed safely. Much of God’s work is hidden, and it is no small knowledge to forbear asking why this bill and why now, and simply trust the One who sees. The poor in spirit, the humble and contrite in mind, are blessed. Not those humble only by force of circumstance, but those who choose to bow low under God’s hand.
You are not crowned alone, nor before your time. All the faithful, whether they struggled in ancient days or today, receive their reward together. God has provided some better thing for you in Christ, a tender carefulness that appoints one day of crowning for all. That means your present trial is not the final word. Look to the Scriptures: they can make you wise so that no happening offends you. There you find examples and reasons, and where reasons cease, you learn to endure manfully, referring all to faith and the incomprehensible mercy of God.
Therefore, do not drown in the shallow water of anxiety. The debt is real, but the Master’s love is more real still. Cast the greater part on Him, forgive as you have been forgiven, humble your reasoning, and let the pain drive you to the only safe harbor.
