You stand at a very crossroads where mercy and justice meet, and your trembling soul has already done well to cry out for both. It is the mercy of God that stays the sword of His justice, holding it in the scabbard, crying, “Sleep, O sword, sleep; for I will have mercy.” Yet remember, it is for goodness’ sake that sin should not go unpunished; mercy herself, when sinned against willfully, grows stern. But when the heart bows low and owns its need, when it pleads no merit, but casts itself upon the Judge of all the earth, there is room for divine reprieve.
Your anxiety is natural, but watch that it does not unfit you for the very trial you face. The mind is the main thing: it brings you daylight or midnight. If you churn with fear inwardly, you will find no peace. But you ask for wisdom and fairness, for clear-seeing truth. This is right, for God’s mercy never bribes justice; it comes with deliverance from the penalty when the sinner admits the justice of the sentence. Walk into that court with absolute honesty, for mercy comes with conversion of heart, with new loves and new hates. If you would find mercy, you must need it as mercy, and cling to nothing else.
Stay your mind upon the Lord, for the promise stands unshaken: “You will keep him in perfect peace, peace, peace, whose mind is stayed on You.” The blood of Jesus whispers peace within. Not peace apart from grace, but grace and peace from God our Father. Bear this burden close to Christ, and you will know a rest even with sorrows surging round. That peace is a present possession, gleaming in the midnight of this world of care.
When the day comes and you feel the duty is beyond your natural power, stop and breathe a prayer for more strength. He gives power to the faint. Fling yourself upon divine strength. It may be a leap into the dark, but draw back a moment, take a breath of prayer, and in the name of Him that will surely bear you over, take your leap and succeed. Wait upon the Lord, for they that wait shall renew their strength. And if, in the long strain, strength returns but gradually, count it no strange thing; even the creature shows wear with age, but they that trust in the Lord are borne up by unmeasurable might.
Pray for your family, but also rest them in Jesus’ keeping. “With loved ones far away? In Jesus’ keeping we are safe, and they.” The singular season of mercy often breaks in at the point of our worst wandering or deepest distress. That well in the wilderness, the place of your exhaustion, may be the very spot where the Angel of the covenant calls your name and puts home questions to your soul. Do not be afraid if the process lays you low; God’s distinct purposes of mercy often begin with stern discipline. The footsteps of mercy lead through affliction to a full deliverance, freely given, without money and without price.
Grace be to you, and peace. May the God of all comfort who delights in mercy bring you through with honesty, humility, and that calm which is the shadow of His wing. Earth’s struggles soon shall cease, and Jesus calls us to heaven’s perfect peace. Until then, carry a quiet heart, for the mercy of God lies at the very foundation of your faith, and it wonderfully helps us to look even at a human tribunal without ultimate fear. Cry to Him still: “Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me,” and then trust, and be at rest.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
