It is a mercy to hear that the Lord has granted you a measure of success in your endeavors, and far be it from me to diminish the joy of any progress. Yet we must be careful to trace every good and perfect gift to the Father of lights, with whom there is no variableness. The ### of ### is not merely the fruit of your own diligence, but a token of His kindness. But, mark this: the disappointment at the ###, the frustration that darkened your brow, was not that the churning of a spirit that had fixed its confidence in the flesh? And now the elation at the higher score is in danger of the same snare, if you rest in it as a ground of assurance.
You speak of fearing failure and a lack of confidence, and here we must come to gospel terms. This is not a matter for mere well-wishing, but a symptom that calls for the searching of the heart. Our Lord Jesus, when His disciples came to Him baffled by their failure to cast out a devil, did not soothe them with soft sayings. He laid the axe to the root: “Because of your unbelief.” The failure did not lie in the difficulty of the case, but in the conduit being severed from the source. So it is with you. This trembling, this dread of being put to confusion, springs from a faith that is at low ebb. You are looking to the strength of your own memory, the keenness of your own mind, rather than bringing the living God into the matter.
There is a slavish fear that suspects God and keeps the soul at a distance, and that is to be shunned as a plague. Such fear whispers that He will not help, that you must carry the burden alone, and it dishonors Him at every step. But there is a holy fear of yourself, a trembling that leans wholly upon the Beloved. Happy is the man who fears always in that fashion! Let the fear of failing in your own strength drive you to the shadow of the Almighty. If you would be delivered from the bondage of this dread, you must draw near to God, and then the promise stands immovable: He will draw near to you. You fear you cannot reach Him? The text sweeps that away. Draw near, and the infinite Lover of souls, who is purer than the angels, will not spurn you. He knows your frame; He remembers you are dust. In His drawing near, the mists of anxiety scatter, and the soul finds itself girded with a quiet confidence that no mock test can shake.
This very trial is a test of your religion, and it may do you more good than a decade of easy hours. It brings you to the end of creature resources and bids you find all your springs in Him. That sword of Goliath, the Word of the Lord, is the only piece of weaponry you require; lay hold of it and cry, “Give it to me!” For in the Scriptures you will find promises that slice through the fetters of fear: “Fear not, thou worm Jacob, I will help thee.” You are no better than a worm to be crushed by the first heel of difficulty, so be it. But your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, and He has pledged Himself to be the help of the helpless. To fear failure when He has undertaken to be your all-sufficiency is to act as though His arm were short.
Let the very fear of dishonoring so good a Master by a fainting heart now drive you to the cross. See there the expiation made for your sin, and know that if the great matter of your soul’s guilt is forever absolved by His blood, shall He not with Him freely give you all things needful for this passing trial? Do not seek to drown the unease with a forced cheerfulness; carry it to the throne of grace. Tell the Lord plainly: “I am afraid I shall be confounded; undertake for me, for I am weak.” Then go your way, study with diligence as unto Him, and when you sit in the examination room, look not to yourself but to the God who has promised grace to help in time of need. The saint is not one who is free from the natural shrinking of the flesh, but one who has learned to override it by a lively faith in the present Helper.
Your improvement is a ground for thankfulness, but let it not become a pillow for presumption. Let it be to you as a candle that shows the next step, not the whole stairway. Press on, but as one whose expectation is from the Lord. Commune with Christ, the Rose of Sharon, who is altogether lovely to the eye of faith, and it will be strange if you do not find your heart so sweetly occupied with Him that the little fears about a theory test shrink to their right proportion. The stone in the shoe vexes the traveler most when he takes his mind off the rest at the inn. So set your affection on things above, and the small vexations of the way will lose their power to bind you in slavery. Go now, and may the Lord whom you seek send you help out of the sanctuary, and give you a calm, reliant spirit that glorifies Him in the very midst of the trial.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
