Tlynne44
Disciple of Prayer
Pls pray for my family. We are in such a BAD place. I'm a single mom of 2 teens, both that have mental disabilities. My son just had an absolute temper tantrum. He's very immature for 15. He's got ADHD, OCD, depression, anxiety, and bipolar. He completely loses it. He's gotten very defiant. He will completely ignore me if I say, "clean your room" or "get off the game." It doesn't matter. He NEVER EVER does what I say until like I've said it so many times and I'm getting upset. Then when I get overwhelmed, he literally smiles. It's very stressful. Yet, the other side is such a sweet boy who cries when he sees something like a child hurt or killed in a movie, for example. He's bullied his sister her whole life b/c of jealousy for some reason. She doesn't get in as much trouble b/c she listens better but that has def changed as well. She's on the spectrum and has Sensory disorder along w/ depression and anxiety. She and my son were both bullied a lot in school. But Poor Hannah would be bullied at home and then come home and be bullied by her brother. It was a nightmare! He has no friends b/c of his antics so when he tries to talk to her now, she wants nothing to do with him which upsets him. However, right now, it's his mental state & he's never called me any horrible names but he just called me the B word b/c he was picking cat out of the litter box while the cat was trying to go to the bathroom! I got upset and he started losing it big time. I only have ONE friend/relative that helps and cares about me and that's my mom, ###. She has a brain tumor but she gets MRI's every so often and God has blessed her and kept her healthy thus far but I can't help but be so scared of losing her. Not just b/c she helps me but b/c I love her so much. I feel very guilty tho b/c I am so moody and irritable from my health issues. I have many health problems and it's led to totally destroying my life. Of course, I'm very blessed to have my kids and mom so I hate to complain. But I don't know how much more negativity and stress I can take. I'm in a terrible state financially. I have collectors calling me. I can't help b/c I have so much debt. I had a great career & a lot of Life Insurance which was very imp to me b/c I didn't want my kids to grow up poor like me. But I had TONS of student loans but thought I'll get a great job and it'll be worth it. I never imagined at 43, having to use a cane sometimes b/c I can't walk. Fibromyalgia/CFS is extremely disabling but b/c it's an "invisible Illness," many people don't take it seriously or think you are exaggerating or just lazy. But I also have many other health issues w/ thyroid, migraines, fatigue, PCOS, and so forth. Life is so stressful but I keep thinking of the day I lose my mom, think how bad it will be then. I just want Jesus to come soon so bad. I want us to all go to heaven together so I don't have to experience losing my mom or anyone. I'm scared of death but I'm a Christian so I know I should have faith and be strong. But many Christians die horrible deaths like other people so I think what if that happens or what if I lose my child. I'm terrified of my kids, esp, my son right now, committing suicide. And I've def had those thoughts but my faith and family is the only reason I haven't done that. I hear of people being healed but I've prayed and haven't been and that's one thing that's hard to explain to my kids b/c I don't understand it myself. My son said last night that he blames God for giving me Fibro. I said he didn't give it to me. He said well he won't heal you! How do I explain that when I don't understand myself? So sorry for the long post. Please pray for ###, ###, ###, and me, ###. Thank you very much. God Bless.
