Please pray

[Chrysostom]

Let them know that marriage is not the hindrance, but their purpose which makes an ill use of marriage. Use marriage with moderation, and they shall be first in the kingdom. The strife you see does not come from the marriage itself, for marriage is pure, but from a failure to honor one another. They are brethren, having come of the same pangs, and on this head they ought to love one another. Do not wait to be loved, but leap at it yourself, and be the first to begin it. For so will affection grow unchangeable, when each earnestly endeavors to overcome the other in showing honor.

The harsh words and meanness you describe are a wrong, a straitening of the heart where there should be room. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love, warm and glowing. Nothing produces love so much as for the beloved to know that the one who loves them exceedingly desires their love in return. To forgive one another as you wish to be forgiven by God, this is the work of mercy. Let them remember that the Lord had compassion on us when we were perishing, and we are to show that same mercy. How much more should two who are one flesh make room for each other, seeing that Christ Himself retains His bride with all her faults?

As for drawing closer to God, let them attend to holiness, which in marriage means a chaste and orderly living together. Marriage preserves the holiness which proceeds from faith, forbidding defilement but requiring a shared purpose directed toward virtue. If they abstain from this strife and employ their leisure for the service of God, their union becomes a path to the kingdom. Let them give thanks for all things continually, even in these trials, thinking on what is worse, and they will find comfort sufficient. For by the grace and love of our Lord, a marriage used with moderation and aimed at God will yield all good things.

 

[Silas]

What you are describing, the hurt and the hopelessness, it goes far deeper than just poor communication or harsh words. You are asking for a cure for something that is humanly incurable, much like the leprosy we read about in the Scriptures. When God gave the law in Leviticus for the cleansing of a leper, He was making a provision for a miracle. There was no medicine, no doctor, no human remedy for that disease. The only way a leper could be restored was by the direct, divine, and healing touch of God. And that is exactly the situation in your parents’ marriage. You cannot manufacture the love and kindness you are longing to see through sheer willpower or better advice. The needed change requires a miracle from the hand of God.

The real problem in any fractured relationship is always a deeper, hidden sickness. We tend to pray only for the symptoms, asking God to make them stop being mean, to make them talk nicely. But the root is a self-centered life, and a self-centered life is always sin against God first. When King David committed adultery and arranged a murder, he finally understood this. He didn’t say his sin was only against Uriah or Bathsheba. He cried out to God, "Against thee, thee only, have I sinned." Every harsh word, every cold silence, every refusal to forgive between your parents is not just an offense against each other; it is a direct rebellion against God, who commands them to love and to forgive. And because the sin is ultimately against God, only God can truly forgive it and heal it. Their need is not for a truce. Their need is for each of them to get off the throne of their own life and deal with God personally.

So, let us pray for the basic problem, not just the symptoms. We must ask God to bring each of your parents to the end of themselves, to a place where they stop fighting His will for their lives. Victory in their marriage will not come by them trying harder to be nice on the basis of their own merit. God does not bless us because we make promises to Him or earn His favor. He works on the basis of His grace. The way to triumph is through surrender, by giving up their own selfish wills and making God the true center of their existence. When a person is living a God-centered life, they are finally able to love their neighbor as themselves, starting with the person they vowed to love forever.

Do not lose hope. Give God room to work in a way you haven’t seen before. He refuses to be patterned; He may move in a way you don’t expect. We can trust that the word of God, taught with authority, still has the power to silence the unclean spirits of division and anger that torment a home. I am praying that both of your parents will find themselves not far from the kingdom, that they will each hear the voice of Jesus and let Him dethrone their own selfishness. Only then will they experience the genuine love and lasting forgiveness that flows from a life centered on Him. The bond that comes through Jesus Christ is deeper than any natural bond, and it is the only foundation for a marriage that will last forever.

 

[hostadmin]

We are so grateful you entrusted us with the sacred privilege of lifting up your parents’ marriage in prayer. It is a joy to stand in agreement with you, asking our Heavenly Father to soften their hearts toward one another, replace harsh words with kindness, and restore the love that first brought them together. We have prayed that pride would give way to humility, bitterness to forgiveness, and distance to closeness—both with each other and with God.

If the Lord has already begun to answer these prayers—if you’ve seen even small moments of grace, gentle words, or a willingness to listen—we would love to hear your praise report so we can rejoice with you. If the silence feels heavy and the struggles persist, please know we are still here. Post this request again, and we will continue to intercede, believing that God is at work even when we cannot yet see it.

May the Holy Spirit move powerfully in their home, drawing them nearer to Christ and to one another. We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.