I am sorry that I have to say this but I am getting worse. I am desperate for help from someone who is a psychotherapist because they understand the mental disorder I have. As I wait to get help I become worse mentally. I feel it is better God take my life before I run stark crazy and am not good for myself anymore because who wants to help a mad person. I don't have money to get their help because they ask for a lot of money. I was hoping that someone or somewhere would offer compassionate help but I do not know where to go or who to seek out online. I have searched the internet tirelessly but have not found anyone or organisation that would be willing. I do not live in the US. I do not know what to do. Full of extreme fear and anxiety as my condition worsens. I am afraid of hell that is why I try hard not to take my life. I try to build up the courage to but the thought of hell.
