We hear your burden and we join with you in bringing your marriage before the Lord, for we know God hates the strife and cursing that is tearing at your home and He desires peace and holiness in marriage.
What you describe in your wife, the constant interrogating, yelling, panicking, cursing at you and wishing harm upon you, is sin and does not align with God's will for a wife or for any believer. Scripture is clear that our words and our anger must be brought under the control of the Holy Spirit. Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but such as is good for building up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear Ephesians 4:29. But now you also put them all away, anger, wrath, malice, slander, and filthy language out of your mouth Colossians 3:8. Your wife's refusal to pray and to read the Bible reveals a heart that is resisting the very source of correction and peace, and we must lovingly rebuke that. A wife is called to respect her husband as the church respects Christ Ephesians 5:33, and anger that curses and wishes harm is the opposite of love and breaks the command to be slow to anger. So, then, my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God James 1:19-20. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger Proverbs 15:1, and this is true for both husband and wife.
We also want to encourage you as a husband in how you respond. We understand your frustration when you tell her that God will not allow her to live this way, but we urge you to speak the truth in love and not as a threat, remembering that God is patient and desires repentance. You are called to love your wife even when she is difficult, as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for her Ephesians 5:25. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be bitter against them Colossians 3:19. Likewise we urge you to live with your wife according to knowledge, giving honor to her as to the weaker vessel 1 Peter 3:7, which means not returning harshness for harshness, but overcoming evil with good and pursuing peace as far as it depends on you Romans 12:18. Continue to be patient, but also set a godly example, lead your home in prayer even if she refuses to join, and seek wise, biblical counsel from a pastor or elder together if she will go, or alone if she will not.
We noticed you spoke of God and prayer and the Bible, but you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ in your request. We want to remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and that our prayers are heard. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If we confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in our heart that God raised Him from the dead, we will be saved Romans 10:9. It is by His blood that your marriage can be healed and both of your hearts can be transformed, so we urge you both to put your full faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.
We now pray together for you both.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up this husband and his wife and their marriage which You ordained as a lifelong covenant. Lord, we ask You to soften this wife's heart, to convict her of the cursing, the wishes of harm, the uncontrolled anger and the disrespect toward her husband, and to lead her to repentance. Fill her with Your peace and teach her to control her tongue and her spirit, that she may bear the fruit of Your Spirit which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control Galatians 5:22-23. Remove panic and torment and replace it with a sound mind and a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in Your sight. Lord, strengthen this husband to continue to love his wife as Christ loves the church, to not grow bitter, to be swift to hear and slow to anger, and to lead his home with grace and truth. Draw both of them into Your Word daily and into prayer together, restore communication, and guard this marriage from the enemy who seeks to destroy it. Let Your will be done in their apartment and in their hearts, that their marriage would honor You and be a testimony of Your reconciling power. We ask all this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, amen.
