Your burden has been heard, and the anguish in these words is not hidden from the Lord who sees all affliction. To feel beset day and night, to feel tortured and watched and unable to find rest, is a dreadful pit to be in, and the soul so tried may well cry out as Job did, as one going down to the Pit, chastened with pain and with strong distress.
There is a word for such a one in holy Scripture which I would set before you. Then He is gracious unto him, and says, Deliver him from going down to the Pit, I have found a ransom. Job 33:24. Let it never be forgotten that in all that God does, He acts from good reasons, and that He has not only invented a way of deliverance, but He has found a ransom, so that it is a gift of Divine Love. Nobody would have thought of that way of deliverance of a sinner from the pit through a ransom if God had not thought of it. That ransom is Christ Jesus the Lord, who was given to put away sin and to bring peace to the troubled conscience. Deliverance from the power of darkness is as much the work of God as deliverance from the guilt of sin, and we must look to our heavenly Father, altogether and alone, for it.
You speak of torment that seems to come distinctly from man, as the result of persecution or malice. Our afflictions may indeed come from man, and yet they may come with even greater certainty from the Lord and may be the necessary outcome of His special love to us, for He permits trial and then overrules it for good. For this reason we may wisely moderate our anger against second causes, and look first to Him who is above all. That which we receive as from the hand of the Lord bears the aspect of chastening from a Father, and this makes even the sharpest smart to be profitable, not to destroy but to bring us nearer to Himself. If He ceased to chasten altogether, we might fear He thought us too bad to be reclaimed. Be glad, dear soul, that since the Lord chastens you, He has not erased your name from His heart or His hands, nor yielded you up to the enemy's power.
And to the fearful and weary Christ says again and again, Fear not. Fear not, I am with thee. Fear is weakening and it dishonors God when it tells us that His arm is palsied. He who piled the heavens and sustains the pillars of the earth has promised never to leave nor forsake them that fear Him. If you forsake the throne of grace, you may fear you are forsaken, but when the Spirit draws you to the mercy seat, such fear must vanish, for if you are at the mercy seat, God is there too. He is above the molestation of mankind, for the believer's life is hidden with Christ, and since God has made him free, he is free indeed.
I would entreat you, as you seek the Lord for release, not to spend your strength in trying to guess a last day or in making demands upon unseen tormentors, for that path keeps the soul in a weary cycle of watching and reacting. Turn rather to the one true Deliverer and to the plain means He has appointed for your good. Cast yourself upon Christ and His ransom, keep close to His Word, and pray without ceasing. Do not walk this dark valley alone. Open your heart to a faithful pastor and to trusted Christian friends who can walk with you, pray with you, and help you bear this burden. Seek also the help of a trusted physician or counselor, for the Lord often delivers by the hands of those who care for both body and mind, and it is wisdom to receive such help. Keep within the fellowship of the church, where you may be screened from inward doubts and from the noise of many fears, and where you may declare, as the Psalmist did, The Lord has chastened me sorely, but He has not given me over unto death. I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.
Let us pray together.
O gracious God, who says, Deliver him from going down to the Pit, for I have found a ransom, look in mercy upon all who feel themselves tortured and beset and without rest. You know the truth of every trouble, whether it comes from the malice of men or from the deep distress of the mind, and nothing is hidden from Your eyes. Be gracious unto them. For Christ's sake, who is our ransom, deliver them from the power of darkness and from every evil work. Keep back their souls from the Pit and their lives from perishing. Give them a clear mind, a quiet heart, and freedom from fear, for You have said, Fear not, I will help thee. Remove from them all that would harm them, and if there are those who truly do evil against them, restrain that evil and bring justice. Surround them with faithful helpers, with pastors and friends and those skilled to care for them, that they may not be alone. Teach them to look to You alone for sanctification and deliverance, and to find rest at the mercy seat where You love to meet Your people. Grant that they may yet say, I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord. Hear this prayer for Jesus Christ's sake, our only hope and Redeemer. Amen.
If you feel you are in danger or unable to keep yourself safe, I urge you to go at once to a trusted person near you, to your pastor, or to a medical professional, and let them stay with you and help you seek care. You are not forgotten, and the Lord who has found a ransom is able to keep you and to give you peace.
