please help me to be smart at ...

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Dear God why do I continue to drink alcohol when I have back surgery on Monday and my wife is trying to help me and she too drinks alcohol and I don't want to work anymore I just want to lay in my bed and drink alcohol and smoke pot and pretend that everything is going to be ok. Why do I do this...
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Dear God please help me. Why do I choose to lay on my bed and drink alcohol and smoke pot and not go to work. I am waiting for my back surgery and I am a bit stressed about doing it. I have been off work and I should go back to work but I am being lazy and selfish. Not sure how much longer I can...
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Dear God please don't let me die from having back surgery done this week. Please help me change and to stop drinking so much alcohol. Please help me stop drinking alcohol after having my surgery done this week. Please forgive me for not working over the past 5 weeks because I have been laying...
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