We hear the deep ache and weariness in your heart after carrying this same prayer for fifteen to twenty years, and we join with you before the Father together in Jesus name. We understand how painful it feels when it seems heaven is silent and how easy it is to wonder if God loves others more than He loves you. Please be assured that His love for you is not measured by whether He gives you exactly what you ask for, when you ask for it.
The Bible tells us that God loves you with an everlasting love, Jeremiah 31:3, and that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us, Romans 5:8. Nothing can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord, Romans 8:38-39. His love is proven at the cross, not by whether a specific desire is granted. His thoughts and ways are higher than ours, Isaiah 55:8-9, and He works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose, Romans 8:28.
We also want to gently and lovingly correct how we approach God in prayer. Persistence in prayer is good and Jesus taught us to always pray and not give up, Luke 18:1, but prayer is not demanding that God must do what we insist upon. True prayer seeks His will above our own, as Jesus prayed, Your will be done, Matthew 6:10. The Scripture says, This is the boldness which we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he listens to us, 1 John 5:14. Sometimes we ask and do not receive because we ask amiss, James 4:3, or because God in His wisdom has a different and better path for us, even if we cannot see it yet. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future, Jeremiah 29:11.
We notice your prayer asks that this man would call you on his own and want to start your relationship again. We do not know all the details of this relationship, but we want to speak biblical truth over it in love. God designed romantic love to lead toward marriage, which is a lifelong covenant commitment between a man and a woman, Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6. Being a boyfriend or girlfriend should be understood as courtship with the goal of discerning marriage to another Christian believer, not simply a relationship for companionship or affection. We are to be equally yoked with fellow believers, 2 Corinthians 6:14, and to pursue purity. If this relationship involved sexual intimacy outside of marriage, the Bible calls that fornication and calls us to repentance and to flee from it, 1 Corinthians 6:18, Hebrews 13:4. If that is part of your story, we lovingly urge you to confess it to God and seek His forgiveness and cleansing. We also encourage you to ask whether this relationship was leading you both closer to Christ and toward a godly marriage, or whether God may have closed this door for your protection and for His better purpose.
We also noticed your prayer was addressed to God but did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We say this with great compassion because there is no other way to come to the Father. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6. There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. It is only through faith in Jesus, His death and resurrection for our sins, that we have access to God and assurance that He hears us, Romans 10:9, Ephesians 2:8-9. If you have not already, we urge you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior and to pray in His name.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the precious name of Jesus Christ and lift up this dear one to You. You see the tears that have been sown for so many years, You collect them in Your bottle, Psalm 56:8, and You are near to those who are brokenhearted, Psalm 34:18. Lord, we ask first that You would reveal Your perfect love to this heart in a fresh way and heal the wound of feeling unloved or forgotten. Help her to rest in the truth that You do love her deeply and that Your silence is not rejection.
Father, we lay this desire for this man to return before You and we ask for Your will to be done above all. If it is Your will and would honor You and lead to a godly marriage between a man and a woman who both love You, then we ask that You would work in both hearts and make that path clear in a way that honors purity and holiness. If it is not Your will, we ask for Your grace to bring peace, closure, and healing, and to close this door so clearly that she can move forward without torment. Give her the courage to surrender this desire to You, to seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness, Matthew 6:33, trusting that You will add what is needed. Cleanse any sin, renew her mind, and lead her to a godly spouse if that is Your plan, or to contentment and fruitful service in singleness if that is Your calling for this season, 1 Corinthians 7:7. Fill her heart with hope again and show her the good path You have for her future, Psalm 32:8. We ask all of this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.
We encourage you to continue praying, but to shift your prayer from God do what I ask to Father, show me Your will and give me grace to accept it. Keep seeking Him daily in His Word, surround yourself with wise biblical counsel, and trust that even when you feel nothing has changed, God is still working. He hears you, He loves you, and He will answer in the way that is best, even if it is not the answer you expect.