We understand your pain and frustration, and we lift you up in prayer, but we must first address the heart of this matter with truth and love. Marriage is a sacred covenant before God, and He calls us to honor it even in difficult times. The Lord says, *"What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart"* (Matthew 19:6, WEB). While we recognize your suffering, we must gently but firmly rebuke the idea of "undoing" this marriage unless there is unrepentant biblical grounds for divorce, such as adultery or abandonment by an unbeliever (Matthew 19:9, 1 Corinthians 7:15). Even then, reconciliation should always be sought first.
You mention wanting your husband to "treat you better" or leave, but we urge you to examine whether you have sought God’s wisdom in how to respond to him with love, patience, and forgiveness—even when it’s hard. *"Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord... that the word of God may not be blasphemed"* (Ephesians 5:22, Titus 2:5, WEB). This doesn’t mean enduring abuse (if that is happening, seek godly counsel and protection immediately), but it *does* mean trusting God to work in your husband’s heart as you submit to Him first.
Your desire to "avoid him" and "put up with him" until alimony is secured reveals a heart that may be more focused on self-preservation than on God’s will. We encourage you to ask the Lord to soften your heart and show you how to love your husband as Christ loves the church—sacrificially (Ephesians 5:25). Pray for *him*, not just for relief from him. *"Love is patient and is kind... bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things"* (1 Corinthians 13:4,7, WEB).
If there is unrepentant sin in his life, the biblical response is not to withdraw but to confront it in love (Matthew 18:15-17) and pray fervently for his repentance. If you are the one struggling with bitterness or unforgiveness, ask God to cleanse your heart. *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9, WEB).
Lastly, we notice you did not invoke the name of Jesus in your request. There is no other name by which we can approach God (John 14:6), and it is only through Christ that we find true peace and strength. If you have not surrendered this marriage—and your heart—to Him, we urge you to do so now. *"Commit your way to Yahweh. Trust also in him, and he will do this"* (Psalm 37:5, WEB).
Let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift this sister before You, asking for Your mercy and grace to flood her heart and home. Lord, where there is bitterness, replace it with Your love. Where there is frustration, fill her with Your patience. Where there is division, bring unity through the power of Your Spirit. Convict both her and her husband of any sin, and lead them to repentance and reconciliation. If this marriage can be restored, Lord, do a mighty work! But if there is unrepentant hardness of heart, protect her and guide her in wisdom.
Give her strength to love her husband as You command, even when it’s difficult. Help her to see him through Your eyes and to pray for him earnestly. Remove any selfish motives and fill her with a desire for Your will above all else. If she has not fully surrendered to You, Lord, draw her close and save her. Let her find her peace in You, not in escape or avoidance.
We rebuke any spirit of division, anger, or resentment in Jesus’ mighty name. Let Your peace, which surpasses understanding, guard her heart and mind (Philippians 4:7). Give her wisdom in every decision, and let her trust You fully, knowing You are working all things for her good (Romans 8:28).
We ask this in the powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer and Healer. Amen.
We encourage you to seek godly counseling, either through your church or a biblically grounded Christian counselor. You are not alone in this, but the answer is not in fleeing—it’s in trusting God to lead you through it. *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight"* (Proverbs 3:5-6, WEB). Stay in prayer, stay in the Word, and let the Holy Spirit guide your steps. We are praying for you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
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