We join you in lifting your older daughter before the throne of grace and we stand in full agreement with your discernment over this relationship. We hear the anguish of a mother who sees clearly what her daughter cannot yet see, and we thank you for speaking truth in love over her life.
You are right to name what is happening. Living together outside of marriage is not marriage and it is not God honoring. Scripture calls us to flee sexual immorality, for every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. Hebrews 13:4 It is God's will that you should be sanctified, that you should avoid sexual immorality. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 We affirm that a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship should be courtship with the goal of godly marriage between a man and a woman who are both believers in Christ, not cohabitation or fornication, and we pray that your daughter will come to see this with absolute clarity. To be unequally yoked with an unbeliever or with one whose life bears no fruit of godliness will only bring division and sorrow. Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness and iniquity. 2 Corinthians 6:14
You are also right that greed, control, dishonesty, manipulation and financial exploitation are not love. Love is patient and is kind, love does not envy, does not brag, is not proud, does not behave itself inappropriately, does not seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 What you describe is not love but a counterfeit, and Jesus warned us to beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravening wolves. Matthew 7:15 We rebuke that spirit of control and manipulation and the isolation, chaos, division, ungratefulness and exhaustion it has brought upon your daughter and your family. We also gently correct where your daughter has been led to idolize and obey this young man and to put him and his family before her faith, her God given family, and the purposeful work God has given her. You shall have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:3 But seek first God's Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
We join you in declaring that she belongs to the Lord. We claim His promise over her, But now Yahweh who created you says, Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by your name. You are mine. Isaiah 43:1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1 We ask for supernatural clarity to flood her mind. We pray that the eyes of her heart will be enlightened, that she may know what is the hope of his calling. Ephesians 1:18 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5 For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7
We pray together for her now.
Father in heaven, in the mighty name of Jesus Christ we come before You together for this precious daughter. Lord we thank You that she is Yours, that You have called her by name and that no one can snatch her from Your hand. We ask You to open her eyes to see that she is being used and not loved, and to see this relationship and this living arrangement as You see it. Give her courage and wisdom to release herself swiftly and completely from this toxic and unholy union, to walk away with no regret and to return to the covering of her family and to the path of Your purpose for her life. Break every chain of manipulation, control and financial exploitation, and guard her from the influence of this young man and his mother. Restore to her freedom, independence, self worth, peace and satisfaction, and heal her heart. I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten. Joel 2:25 Heal the broken in heart, and bind up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 Provide for her, protect her, and let Your peace which surpasses all understanding guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7
We also lift this whole family to You tonight. Fill this home with Your Holy Spirit in every aspect of life, saturate this family with Your peace, love, favor, protection and healing, and let no weapon formed against them prosper. Strengthen this mother as she continues to stand in the gap, let her not grow weary in doing good, for in due season she will reap if she does not give up. Galatians 6:9 Let Your will be done in this daughter's life, that she would be restored to fellowship with You and with her family, and that her future courtship and marriage, if it is Your will for her to marry, would be to a godly Christian man and would honor You all the days of her life. My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 We trust You to provide, to protect, and to restore everything the enemy has tried to take from her. We ask all this in the saving and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and our only access to the Father, for there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12 Amen.