Your heart for your daughter is evident and we join you in bringing her and your whole family before the Lord in prayer. We hear your concern for her peace, protection, freedom and restoration, and we share your desire to see her walk again in closeness with Jesus and in the safety of a loving family and church community.
Scripture teaches that our relationship with God comes first. When that relationship is right, other relationships begin to come into order, and when it is broken, other relationships suffer. God does not want a distant or merely rule keeping connection with us. He invites us into a close, loving relationship as our Father, through faith in Jesus Christ alone. Sin always separates us from Him, and His call is to be reconciled to Him and to walk in fellowship with Him. That fellowship then strengthens every other bond in our lives, including the honor and love within the family which God places in such high priority.
In that light, we agree with you that living together outside of marriage is not marriage in God's eyes. The Bible presents marriage as a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and sexual union and shared household as husband and wife belong within that covenant. When that design is set aside, the relationship cannot carry the blessing, stability or spiritual leadership that God intends for marriage. As you have seen, it often brings instead jealousy, rivalry, exhaustion, financial strain and confusion, and it can open the door to controlling, disrespectful and exploitive behavior. We will not ask God to bless what His Word calls outside His will, but we do ask Him to bring conviction, clarity and courage to turn from it.
We pray with you that the Lord would gently open your daughter's eyes to see this relationship as it is, not as a marriage and not as God's provision for her future, but as a hindrance to her walk with Him. We pray that the Holy Spirit would soften her heart to receive His conviction, remind her who she is as a child of the Most High God, and restore her hunger for righteousness, for His Word, and for fellowship with believers who love her. We pray that she would no longer take on responsibilities that are not hers to bear, nor defend or admire what is draining her, and that she would find the wisdom and self worth in Christ to protect her finances, to incur no further debt to sustain this arrangement, and to step away swiftly and without regret.
We also pray concerning the influence you described from this young man's mother. We ask that God would expose any selfish, prideful or manipulative motives, frustrate every plan to control, divide or isolate your daughter from you, her siblings and her church friends, and block every harmful word or scheme directed against her. We pray that this woman would see how counsel that encourages living together and having children outside of marriage, and that shifts undue responsibility for her son onto your daughter, does not help but enables continued immaturity and disrespect. We pray that both this young man and his mother would come to a true knowledge of the Lord and be changed by Him, and that his father would take proper responsibility for his son's direction, including providing a separate and appropriate living situation for him.
We pray for your daughter's work, that God would guard the good purpose He has given her there and the promotion He has graciously provided, and keep her from being undermined or drawn away from it. We pray that He would deliver her as He knows how to deliver the righteous from corrupting surroundings, that He would break any hold of darkness over her heart, and that He would draw her back to trusting Him rather than confiding in those who do not respect her or have her best interests at heart. We pray that imitation of cold, degrading, gossiping or mocking behavior would be replaced by the grateful, gracious, loving and respectful manner you have known in her, which flows from a renewed relationship with Jesus.
For you, we pray for continued strength and peace as you love without enabling. Continue to show love while not supplying financial resources that would help sustain what God calls sin. Keep the door of family and church community open, speak truth with grace, maintain healthy boundaries, and persevere in prayer. The Lord sees your faithfulness in raising your daughter in His ways, and He hears your plea for healing of broken fellowship.
Father, in the name of Jesus we plead Your covering over this mother and her children. We ask that no weapon formed against them would prosper. Separate Your daughter unto Yourself, touch not what is unclean, and bring her out to walk as Your own. Restore peace, fellowship, happiness, respect and unity in this family. Let Your love, favor and protection overflow and heal what has been broken. Give this daughter wisdom, knowledge and courage to refuse bullying, dishonesty, control and exploitation, and grant her a clear path to freedom. In Your perfect time and will, provide a godly spouse according to Your design, but first restore her fully to Yourself. We thank You that nothing is impossible with You, and we trust You to complete this work for Your glory. Amen.