Out THERE

[Anonymous]

I've been praying a lot. I'm looking for a wife who wants to start a life with me. A slow courtship. God first, and wholesome. I've been going to events and meeting women, got a number recently to make plans with a woman. But I ran into my former crush before going home to get ready, after not seeing her around for some time at work. Although, I woke up today still way more interested in the woman I had a crush on. I think maybe I still like her. I long after her faithfulness, and our shared interests. She's not available and I doubt she'd want to hear about what I've been going through around liking her. I'm weary to cause discomfort and making her feel intruded upon, simply from this deep interest in her as a person. It's a professional trade and she's less enthusiastic to hang out at the beach rather than before when she replied so excited. I'm going out dancing tonight, then another event tomorrow, church Sunday, softball, a comedy show, then it's the day I see my crush. I don't want to end the professional trade. I did want to before when I was actively so interested in her. I wanted to guard my heart. I don't want her to feel she's done something wrong. Like I'm taking away a service because she's rejected me or something along those lines. I respect her and I'm doing my best to show up in whatever ways will provide safety and the highest level of professionalism. I'm also trying to become a trainer and want to learn from her skill set. She's one of the top trainers on the floor. I pray God would create a very clear and peaceful energy between me and this woman. That God guide me in his will through Jesus's name. God knows my heart. I stop all fantasies about her as soon as I think of her. All of them, even basic ones like if we'd have things in common. So, I pray a lot. I pray and pray each time she comes to mind. IF anything, knowing this woman has brought me closer to God, kept me in constant prayer, and has helped me stay hyper focused on finding a faith filled woman. She's not perfect and sometimes I wonder if some of those characteristics are part of my connection. I don't know. I ask God to guide me. As, I was open and met women recently, none seem as easy to communicate with. Yet, what if we communicate well only because its a structured professional setting. I want to know what else God would like me to learn from this attraction. How I can keep showing up cand creating strong professional friendliness without feeling uncertain about the last unanswered invite. Should I apologize for inviting the 3 times. 2 in which she was very excited about. What changed? From my perspective, I pulled back and stopped longing for her in the crush way and processed the way I knew how so I could be a friend in a wholesome way without any distractions or self-interests. It's best we probably aren't friends outside of work. I clearly like this woman still even after processing. I want to give even more of it to God. I want to follow God's will and align with the woman he has for me.

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart in this and we join you in seeking God's will together in Jesus' name. We rejoice that you are desiring a wife and a slow, wholesome courtship with God first, and that you want marriage as God designed it, a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman. That desire is good and from the Lord, for He says He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of Yahweh, Proverbs 18:22, and Seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well, Matthew 6:33.

We commend you for the way you are guarding your heart and for stopping fantasies as soon as they arise and turning to prayer instead. That is obedience to God. Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life, Proverbs 4:23, and Bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, 2 Corinthians 10:5. You are right to pray each time she comes to mind, and we thank God that this trial has drawn you closer to Him and kept you focused on finding a faith-filled woman. That is God using even unfulfilled longing to refine you.

We want to speak clearly about your former crush. You have said she is not available, and you sense she is less enthusiastic now and did not answer the last invite. We must honor that boundary fully. If she is not available, whether she is married or in a relationship with another man or simply not interested, we are called to respect that and not pursue her, not dwell on longing for her, and not intrude upon her with confessions of your deep interest or your processing. To continue to pursue what God has not opened, or to long after another man's wife or girlfriend, would not honor the Lord and would violate love which does not seek its own and respects others. Her lack of response is itself an answer, and we encourage you to receive it with grace and peace. There is no need to apologize at length for inviting her three times, even though two times she seemed excited. What changed may simply be that she discerned your interest was more than professional and she wisely set a boundary, or her circumstances changed. You do not need to ask her to explain. A brief, quiet step back into consistent, kind professionalism without further personal invitations outside of work is the most loving and respectful path. If you apologize repeatedly, it may actually create more discomfort and pressure for her. Instead live by As much as it is possible, if it is possible on your part, be at peace with all men, Romans 12:18. Show up with the highest level of professionalism, do your work heartily as for the Lord, Colossians 3:23, learn from her skill as a top trainer where appropriate, but do not seek personal friendship outside of work. It is wise that you have discerned it is best you probably are not friends outside of work. That protects both of you and guards your heart for your future wife.

We also gently caution you not to confuse ease of communication in a structured professional setting with true compatibility for marriage. In that setting conversation is given a clear purpose and boundaries, while marriage requires selfless love, shared faith, character under pressure, and spiritual unity day after day. The heart is deceitful above all things, Jeremiah 17:9, so we cannot trust feelings of connection alone. Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight, Proverbs 3:5-6.

Regarding the new woman whose number you received, we encourage you to pursue this with intentional, pure courtship if the Lord opens the door. Before deepening that connection, seek to know whether she is a Christian Believer who loves Jesus and desires marriage that honors God, for Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, 2 Corinthians 6:14. A slow courtship that keeps God first, guards purity, and looks toward marriage rather than just companionship is exactly what honors God. For this is the will of God: your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each one of you know how to control his own body in sanctification and honor, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4. Keep dancing, events, church, softball and fellowship wholesome and pure, with clear intentions and accountability.

We are encouraged that you prayed through Jesus' name, for there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved and have access to the Father, John 14:6 and Acts 4:12. Continue to delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart, Psalm 37:4, as you commit your way to Him.

We pray together for you now. Father in heaven, we lift this brother to You in the name of Jesus Christ. We thank You for his desire for a godly wife and for his commitment to keep You first and to remain pure. We ask You to guard his heart and mind in Christ Jesus, Philippians 4:7, and to grant him wisdom to walk in Your will. Lord, create a very clear and peaceful energy between him and his coworker, remove any confusion or burden of guilt, and help him to show consistent professionalism and respect without pressure or lingering longing. Teach him what You would have him learn through this attraction, deepen his dependence on You, and prepare him to be a godly husband. Lead him to the woman You have for him, a faithful Believer who loves You, and guide his courtship with the new woman if it is Your will, keeping them both pure and Christ-centered. Help him to keep bringing every thought captive to You and to trust Your perfect timing and plan, for we know You have plans to give him hope and a future, Jeremiah 29:11. Let Your peace rule in his heart as he continues to seek You first. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We appreciate you sharing this so honestly, and we hear how sincerely you want to honor God in how you relate to women and in your work.

It makes sense that you feel torn. You are grateful for this trainer and what you have learned from her, and at the same time you are trying to guard your heart and keep things professional and safe for both of you. It is also understandable that communication feels easier in a structured work setting than it does outside of it, that does not always mean the connection would be the same in a friendship or dating context.

One steady way forward is to keep clear, kind boundaries around that work relationship. That helps protect both your heart and your professionalism. There is no need for a long apology about the past invites. Simply letting the last invite rest and continuing to be consistently friendly, respectful, and work-focused will communicate more than revisiting it would. You can keep learning from her skills as a trainer while keeping conversation centered on work, which gives you both space and peace.

And we are encouraged that you are continuing to step out, meeting new people, going to church, and pursuing a slow, wholesome courtship with God first. Keep giving that new connection room on its own, without comparing it to your former crush, and keep bringing the questions about what God wants to teach you to Him in prayer.

Father, we lift our brother to You. You know his longing for a faithful, God-honoring marriage and his desire to walk with integrity at work. Give him wisdom, clarity, and a calm, peaceful way of relating to everyone around him. Guide his steps toward the wife You have for him and keep him close to You as he seeks Your will. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

There is much that is commendable in your prayer, your desire for a slow and wholesome courtship with God first, and your care not to cause discomfort to another. The Lord sees this watchfulness, for he who has godly fear watches carefully and guards his conduct lest anything he does should grieve his Father's heart. That you stop fantasies as soon as they arise and turn at once to prayer is a good and needful discipline, for the heart is the vital place, and what is done without the heart is not truly done before God.

You speak of a divided heart, still drawn toward one who is not available while also seeking the wife the Lord may have for you. Scripture warns that a divided heart is found faulty, and no man can serve God aright while his heart is cut in twain. A united heart is a happy heart, as David prayed, unite my heart to fear thy name. It is often the Lord's mercy to take away the objects of our attachment, one after another, and to break our idols, all to get our hearts wholly to Himself, because He knows it will never be right with us while we have a divided heart. Knowing this woman has kept you in constant prayer is a mercy, yet even that mercy must not become an idol that keeps your heart from being wholly the Lord's. What you need is what only He can give, a new heart and a new spirit within you, taking away the stony heart and giving a heart of flesh that loves what God loves and rests in His provision.

For this reason it is wise and right not to pursue a woman who is not available, and not to press for friendship outside of work when that would intrude upon her peace or your own. Your instinct to guard your heart and to show up with the highest level of professionalism and safety is godly. Do not take away your service as though to punish her, and do not continue to press invitations where an answer has not been given. Love seeks to protect the other from feeling she has done something wrong. A brief and sincere word is enough if you feel you must acknowledge the unanswered invites, not a lengthy apology that would put a burden on her to comfort you. Something simple and respectful, spoken once without expectation, and then a steady, kind, professional friendliness is sufficient. Let your conduct be consistent, courteous, and bounded by the workplace. If you are to learn from her skill as a trainer, do so as a student of the trade, with clear boundaries, always praying and always watchful, binding the word of God continually upon your heart and about your neck, that it may guide you in where to go and where not to go.

At the same time, do not measure a new and godly courtship by the ease of communication in a structured professional setting. That setting can make conversation feel easy when it is in fact limited. A wife who loves the Lord Jesus Christ with her whole heart, who has sought Him with her whole heart and prays, O let me not wander from thy commandments, is to be discerned over time, in the ordinary and unscripted moments of life, in church, in fellowship, in how she speaks of Christ when there is no script. Continue as you are doing to meet women in wholesome ways, to go to church, to live in community, and to pursue a slow courtship that honors marriage as God ordained it, a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, with purity belonging within that covenant alone. Test all things by whether Christ is confessed with the mouth and believed upon in the heart, for salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and a house built on that Rock will stand.

You asked what else God would have you learn from this attraction. Let it teach you to bring every thought captive, to abide in the spirit of prayer, to breathe your heart into the ear of God without saving a word when difficulty arises, and to trust that God will provide Himself. As Abraham lifted his eyes and said, my son, God will provide Himself a lamb, so you may lift your eyes and trust that the Lord who knows your heart will provide in His time and in His way.

We will pray with you that the Lord would give you a new and united heart, that He would create a clear and peaceful energy in your workplace, that He would keep your conduct above reproach, and that He would guide you in His will through Jesus Christ to the woman He has for you, if it be His will for you to marry, for your good and His glory. Keep seeking Him with your whole heart, keep His word ever before you, and rest in the bleeding heart of Jesus to staunch every wound of your own.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.