Anonymous

Beloved of All
Feel like of being deprived . Everyone has s**x even christians . It's normal. Just like bible says be sober. Nobody does that though. I am very jealous for her. Everyone loves s **x . I just tired of this. Why is God so obsessed with me not having se***x. I mean it's obvious he made me unattractive to women be because nobody loves me never had. Nobody is interested in me never had. They are interested in the boyfriend's that God blesses. He alkwos them to have s**xxx . I want love too
 
We hear the pain and loneliness in your heart and the deep feeling of being deprived and overlooked while it seems everyone else is loved and desired. We understand how heavy jealousy and longing can feel when you desire love and believe it will only come through sex, and we want to walk with you in truth and compassion before the Lord.

We need to gently correct some of what you have come to believe because it does not align with God's Word. It is not true that everyone is having sex, even Christians, and it is not true that God blesses boyfriends to have sex outside of marriage. The Bible is very clear that sex is a good and holy gift created by God, but it is reserved for the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman. Hebrews 13:4 says Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. What you are seeing when boyfriends and girlfriends have sex outside of marriage is not God's blessing, it is fornication, and God does not bless sin even when people choose to do it. To be sober as the Bible teaches is not just about alcohol, it is about being self-controlled and clear minded, and many faithful Christians do by God's grace choose to live sober and pure lives, even when it is difficult. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 says For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each one of you know how to control his own body in sanctification and honor, not in the passion of lust.

We also hear you asking why God seems obsessed with keeping you from having sex and why you feel He made you unattractive and unloved. God is not obsessed with depriving you, He is jealous for your holiness and your protection because He loves you deeply. Sex outside of marriage may feel like love, but it is not love, and it often brings deeper wounds of emptiness, guilt, comparison, and broken attachment. God withholds sex outside of marriage the way a loving Father withholds what would harm His child. Your value and attractiveness are not measured by whether women have shown interest in you. Psalm 139:14 says I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. My soul knows that very well. 1 Samuel 16:7 says For man looks at the outward appearance, but Yahweh looks at the heart. You are fully seen and fully loved by God right now, not only if you find a wife. Romans 8:38-39 assures us that nothing can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The jealousy you feel is also something God wants to free you from. Exodus 20:17 warns us not to covet what others have, and James 3:14-16 shows that where jealousy and selfish ambition are, there is confusion and every evil deed. Comparing yourself to others who appear to be loved or sexually satisfied will only breed bitterness and despair. The enemy wants you to believe nobody loves you and never will, but that is a lie. The Lord loves you with an everlasting love, and He desires to give you real love, not just a moment of physical pleasure. True love is faithful, committed, and sacrificial, and God designed it to be expressed and protected within lifelong marriage.

If you desire love and sex, the biblical path is not to seek sex itself, but to seek God first and to pursue a godly courtship that leads to marriage with a fellow believer in Christ. The role of a boyfriend and girlfriend is not to enjoy the privileges of marriage without the covenant, but to discern together in purity whether God is calling you to become husband and wife. Proverbs 18:22 says Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of Yahweh. Psalm 37:4 says Also delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Matthew 6:33 says But seek first God’s Kingdom, and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. We encourage you to turn your focus from envying others to cultivating your own relationship with Jesus, to growing in community with other believers, to serving, and to becoming the godly husband you hope to be one day.

We notice you did not mention the name of Jesus in your request, and we want to lovingly tell you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to God and can be saved and transformed. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If you have not yet placed your trust in Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, we urge you to believe that He died for you and rose again, to confess your sins to Him, and to ask Him to be your Lord and Savior. Romans 10:9 says that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

We pray together for you now.

Father, we lift up this dear one to You in the name of Jesus Christ. You see his loneliness, his jealousy, his feeling of being deprived and unattractive and unloved. Lord, speak Your truth over him that he is fearfully and wonderfully made and deeply loved by You. Forgive him for jealousy and for believing lies about Your character, and forgive us all for any sexual lust and fornication. Cleanse his heart and renew his mind. Help him to flee sexual immorality and to walk in self-control by Your Holy Spirit, for 1 Corinthians 10:13 promises You will make a way of escape from temptation. Heal the wound of feeling unwanted and help him to find his identity and contentment in Christ alone. If it is Your will, lead him to a godly Christian wife and prepare him to be a faithful husband who honors marriage as You designed it. Teach him what real love is and help him to seek You first above all else. Draw him to Jesus and let him know the joy of salvation and the assurance that he is fully accepted through Christ. Give him hope, community, and strength to endure with purity until You fulfill the desires of his heart in Your perfect time. We ask this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior, amen.
 
We thank you for trusting us with what is really on your heart. Feeling deprived and overlooked while it looks like everyone else is loved and chosen is exhausting, and we hear how tired and jealous you feel. That ache to be wanted and to know real love is deeply human, and it makes sense you would wonder where God is in it.

It can help to know jealousy often grows when we compare our inside pain with other people's outside picture. What looks like everyone being blessed or happy rarely tells the whole story, and that comparison can quietly convince us we are less valuable or less attractive than we are.

One small step that has helped others is to notice where comparison gets loudest and give yourself some space from it, whether that is stepping back from social media or certain conversations for a season, and instead leaning into one or two steady, face to face connections where you can be known. A trusted pastor, mentor or small group where you can talk honestly without shame can make loneliness less heavy than carrying it alone.

We are praying for you and we care about you.

Jesus, we lift our brother before You. Show him his worth in Your eyes, quiet the sting of jealousy and loneliness, and guide him toward healthy community and hope. Give him wisdom for each next step and the assurance that he is seen and loved by You. Amen.
 
Your cry has been heard and it is right to bring it honestly before the Lord rather than to hide it. The ache of feeling deprived and alone, of thinking yourself unseen and unloved while others seem to find love easily, is a heavy burden. And the jealousy that rises when you look at others is a bitter pain that many have known.

It is not true that everyone lives as you describe, though it may appear so. The tempter would have you believe that all do it and that the command of God is mocked by all, and therefore you are foolish to obey. The word sober in Scripture means to be self controlled, watchful and clear minded, and by the grace of God many do walk in that way, though not without struggle. God is not obsessed with keeping you from joy. His commands concerning sex, that it belongs within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman, are given not to crush you but to guard you, because He knows how deep and powerful this part of our nature is and how much harm comes when it is misused. What may look like blessing upon those who go outside His way is not His blessing. He does not bless what He forbids.

You speak of being left alone while others are loved. Our Lord Jesus knew that loneliness to its full depth. He was left alone just when as a man He most needed human sympathy, forsaken by friends in His hour of trial. Yet He could say, I am not alone, because the Father is with me. That same loneliness which the Savior sanctified is in measure the portion of His people when they walk in obedience where others will not. It pains, but it does not have to destroy. To feel friendless and unlovely is a sorrow Christ understands, and He draws near to those who feel it.

You ask why this desire so masters you. Scripture teaches us to pray, Lead us not into temptation. Temptation in itself is dangerous, even though God can bring good out of the trial for those who trust Him. We are not to desire to be tried, nor to run into the place of trial. The one who prays that prayer and then willingly goes into temptation contradicts his own prayer. Therefore do not feed jealousy by gazing upon what others do, or by giving eye and thought to images and places and conversations that inflame desire. A man may be tempted and yet hate the temptation, and where the soul hates it and cries against it, the temptation itself is not counted as sin, but we are to flee from it and call upon God to keep us from its power and to keep our garments unstained.

You say no one loves you and that you are unattractive. Your worth before God does not rest upon comeliness or upon whether a woman has yet shown interest in you. The believer, while still bearing groans and doubts and fears and wrestling with temptation, is accepted in the Beloved, not in himself. You are not accepted because you are attractive to others, you are accepted because Christ is lovely and His righteousness is yours if you trust Him. That love of God is more stable than any human love. And God giveth to His beloved a contentment and a sleep of heart that the restless and envious cannot know. Envy makes the soul more lonely, but contentment in Christ quiets it.

So let us pray not that God would bless what is outside His holy will, for He cannot bless what He has called sin, but that He would bless you according to His mercy. May He forgive jealousy and cleanse the heart, may He teach you sobriety and self control by His Spirit, may He keep you from temptation and give you strength to stand fast, may He fill the loneliness with His own presence and with true fellowship in His church, and may He, if it be His will, in His own time and way provide the lifelong covenant of marriage, and until then or if otherwise, may He show you that to be His and to be kept by Him is not to be deprived but to be kept for a greater joy. Seek Him daily in the word and in prayer, walk openly with faithful Christian brothers, serve others rather than dwelling only upon your own want, and cast your longing upon Christ who was lonely for your sake that you might never be truly alone.
 
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

🙏Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
 

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