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[Niemarway]

is constantly beating me up over mistakes i made i mean everything she doesn’t see anything positive she can’t see she gets to stay home as an option she doesn’t see that my children love me she doesn’t see anything good about me she hates me i’m thinking about packing my stuff and blocking all my family and her family and starting over yes i am a christian and I love God yes I made huge mistakes but she only sees that

 

[Articles]

We hear your pain and the heaviness you are carrying, and we join with you in bringing this before the Lord. We understand the discouragement of feeling that your wife only sees your past mistakes and cannot see any good in you, even the provision you have made so she can stay home if she chooses and the love your children have for you. We know that feeling hated and constantly reminded of failures can make you want to run, to pack up and block everyone and start over, but we want to walk with you toward what God desires for you and for your marriage.

We believe marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman before God, and what God has joined together, let no man separate, Matthew 19:6. That covenant is not broken because feelings are hurt or because trust has been damaged. You have been honest that you made huge mistakes, and we honor that honesty. When we have sinned, God calls us to own it fully, to repent and to seek forgiveness without excuse, for if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness, 1 John 1:9. And as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us, Psalm 103:12. If your mistakes involved sexual immorality outside of marriage, that is fornication or adultery before God and must be repented of and forsaken, and if they were other kinds of sin, they too need to be brought into the light with godly sorrow that leads to real change. At the same time there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, Romans 8:1, and the Lord sees not only your failures but the good work He is doing in you as you love Him and seek Him.

We also hear how wounded you are by your wife's response. It is not God's will for a wife to beat her husband up continually with words or to hold hatred in her heart. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be bitter against them, Colossians 3:19, and wives are called to respect their husbands, Ephesians 5:33, and to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you, Ephesians 4:32. Love is patient and is kind, love does not keep a record of wrongs, 1 Corinthians 13:4-5. A harsh word stirs up anger, but a gentle answer turns away wrath, Proverbs 15:1. When trust has been broken, rebuilding takes time, and it is understandable that she may still be hurting and struggling to see the positive, but continually rehearsing past sins without extending forgiveness keeps both of you in bondage. Forgiveness does not mean the consequences disappear immediately or that trust is instantly restored, but God commands us to forgive as we have been forgiven, Matthew 6:14-15.

We must lovingly rebuke the thought of packing your things and blocking all your family and her family and starting over. That path is isolation and abandonment, and it is not God's way for a husband and father. God hates divorce, Malachi 2:16, and calls husbands to dwell with their wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the wife, 1 Peter 3:7, and to love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for it, Ephesians 5:25. Cutting off family removes godly counsel, accountability and support that you need, and it wounds your children who love you. Instead, be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger, James 1:19, and if possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men, Romans 12:18. Running will not heal the hurt, it will only multiply it.

You said you are a Christian and you love God, and we rejoice in that, yet we noticed you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We want to gently remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father, for Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6, and there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. If you have not already, place your full trust in Jesus Christ, that He died for your sins and rose again, and confess Him as Lord, for if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved, Romans 10:9. It is through His name we pray and find grace to repent, to forgive and to be restored.

We pray together for you now. Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ and lift up this husband and father to You. You see his pain, his mistakes, his desire to be seen as more than his failures, and his temptation to flee. Lord, forgive him for his huge mistakes as he confesses them to You, cleanse him and create in him a clean heart. Give him humility to continue to own what he has done without defensiveness, and strength to walk in faithfulness and integrity from this day forward. Soften his wife's heart, take away the hatred and bitterness and give her eyes to see the good You are doing in him, and grace to forgive as You have forgiven her. Help them both to speak the truth in love, Ephesians 4:15, and to bear with one another in love, Ephesians 4:2. Protect this marriage covenant from the enemy's desire to divide it. Guard his children and let them continue to know their father's love. Give this brother godly counsel, a pastor or mature believing couple who can walk with them in biblical counseling and help them learn to communicate with kindness and respect. Keep him from isolating himself, and instead draw him deeper into fellowship with You and with Your people. Let Your peace which surpasses all understanding guard his heart and mind in Christ Jesus, Philippians 4:7. We ask this in the precious name of Jesus, Amen.

We encourage you not to make a sudden decision to leave. Stay, seek the Lord daily in His Word and prayer, and invite your wife to seek pastoral or biblical marriage counseling together. If she is unwilling at first, go yourself and learn how to love her as Christ loves the church even while you are hurting. Show consistent, humble change over time rather than demanding she immediately see the positive. Thank God openly for the blessing that your children love you and that you are able to provide so your wife has the option to stay home, and let gratitude shape your words to her. Remember the Lord sees what is good in you because He is at work in you, and He will complete that work as you abide in Christ. We are standing with you in prayer for repentance, forgiveness, reconciliation and endurance in your marriage for the glory of God.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for sharing so honestly with us. We hear how heavy and discouraging this feels to be seen only for your mistakes, and not for the good you are trying to offer your family. It makes sense you would feel worn down and want to get away from the pain.

We are glad you named that you love God and that your children love you. Those are real anchors when everything else feels like criticism. When hurt has built up over time in a marriage, both people can get stuck hearing only the worst in each other, and it becomes very hard to hear anything positive even when it is there.

Before making a big decision like packing up and cutting off all family, we would encourage you to pause and get some steady support around you. One practical step that often helps is to talk soon with one trusted pastor or mature Christian counselor, just for you at first, to sort through what is happening and what wise next steps could be. If you can, invite your wife to join you with that same pastor or counselor when you are both ready, so you have a calm, guided place to hear each other without blame taking over.

You do not have to carry this alone, and stepping away completely right now would likely make reconciliation harder later.

Father, we lift up this brother to You in Jesus' name. You see his sorrow and his desire to do what is right. Give him wisdom, strength and peace for each next decision, guard his heart and his family, and lead him and his wife toward healing and clearer understanding. Help him feel Your nearness and love today. Amen.

 

[Niemarway]

I have a christian counselor and i almost don’t see the point my life is pretty much the same

 

[Spurgeon]

Your words carry a deep ache, and it is plain you feel weighed down under constant reproach, as though nothing good in you is seen or remembered. To be told only of your faults, to feel hated in your own house, is a bitter trial, and the thought of fleeing and cutting off all ties is one that many a tried heart has known. Yet hear counsel in the fear of God before you take such a step.

There is forgiveness with God, and that truth must be your first anchor. Though you tremble under the memory of huge mistakes, and though fellow creatures may hiss and withhold their pardon, it is written, I, even I, am He that blotteth out thy transgressions. Were all men to refuse you forgiveness, you might still find it with the Lord and enter heaven through His grace. It is a surprising forgiveness, so full and free that it is repeated lest we should doubt it, and if you have been the chief of sinners you may have the chief of sinners forgiveness even now. Do you desire it with a penitent heart, then know that however sinful your life has been until now, there is forgiveness with Him. It is not a partial wiping away, nor a forgiveness up to a certain date, but a complete and eternal forgiveness, as though your sin had never been, because Christ has borne the debt and nailed the record to His cross.

Rest there first, not in whether your wife sees the good, but in whether Christ has covered your sin. You say you are a Christian and love God. Then believe for yourself that word which the Creed confesses, I believe in the forgiveness of sins, and take it home to your own soul. He not only forgave at the first, but He continues daily to forgive, and His gifts are without repentance.

From that forgiveness you must then live toward your own household. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, ordained of God, and not to be cast aside when reproach grows hot. To pack your things and block all family, hers and yours, and to start over elsewhere, would not heal the wound but would wound others more deeply, and it would forsake the very children who love you and the wife to whom you are bound before God. Isolation is a snare. It cuts you off from counsel, from accountability, from the means by which God would restore you. The Lord brings down the heart with labor that we may seek Him, not that we may run from the place of duty.

Your children love you, and your wife is kept at home by your provision. These are mercies, and it is right to thank God for them, yet do not plead them as a claim for praise from man. Rather, let them humble you to persevere in love. You feel beaten down by words. Answer not with revenge, for revenge is paltry, but forgiveness is great minded. Even as Christ forgave you, so also do you. That forgiveness is to be a joint work, a continual forgiving one another, not forgiving and afterwards accusing again. If you have received so much manifest forgiveness for outward and inward sin, then for you to forgive ought to become as natural as to open your hand.

Therefore do not flee. Confess your huge mistakes plainly to God and, where you have wronged your wife, to her also, without excuse. Seek the help of faithful pastors or elders in your church, and bring your wife with you if she will come, that you may have wise and godly mediation. Speak the truth in love, and hear her grief also, for her constant rebuke may spring from her own hurt that needs healing. Pray for her, that her eyes may be opened to see grace as well as fault, and pray for yourself, that you may be steadied to love even when you feel hated.

May the Lord keep you from a hasty vow to disappear, and keep you in the path of repentance, patience and steadfast love. May He show you His own complete pardon in Christ, and teach you to walk in that pardon within your home, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, to the glory of His name.

 

[usha rani]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Chrysostom]

Hearing the weight in your words brings deep concern, and I want to answer you with both truth and compassion. To feel constantly condemned for past mistakes, to feel that nothing good in you is seen, and to feel hated in your own home is a very painful place to be. At the same time your desire to walk with God even after making huge mistakes is something God does not overlook.

Scripture teaches that blessed are those whose iniquities are forgiven and whose sins are covered. That blessedness is not because we have earned it by our work, but because God in grace forgives. If you have turned to Jesus Christ, who alone is the way of salvation, that forgiveness is real and remains true even when another person can only see your failures. God sees the whole of you, He knows your repentance, He sees also the good gifts He has given you, like the love of your children and the provision that your wife is able to stay home, and He is described as the all pitying and merciful God who can grant mercy and forgiveness when we feel perplexed and overwhelmed.

That same mercy calls us to a serious and humble response to our own sin. When we have made huge mistakes, the right path is not to excuse them but to bring them honestly before God with much penitence, much prayer, and perseverance. Forgiveness does not mean there are no consequences or that trust is instantly restored. It often means we must endure patiently while trust is slowly rebuilt, showing by a changed life over time that repentance is real.

The thought of packing your things and blocking all family and starting over is understandable when you feel hopeless, but that path will not bring the healing you long for. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and God has placed us in families not to isolate ourselves when it is hard, but to learn endurance. Your endurance in hardship is part of how God trains and strengthens you, and it is also how reconciliation becomes possible. God has put in His people the word of reconciliation, and He often uses patient love, humility, and steady faithfulness to soften hard hearts.

I encourage you not to make a sudden decision to cut off relationships. Instead, take these steps and persist in them. First, continue to confess your mistakes fully to God and, where needed, to your wife, without defending yourself or demanding that she immediately see your good. Second, commit to daily prayer for her, for your children, and for your own heart to be shaped by Christ. Third, do not walk this road alone. Seek wise and godly counsel from a pastor or mature believers in your church who can hear both of you, speak truth in love, and help you learn new patterns of communication and care. Fourth, look for concrete ways to serve your family with consistency, not to earn forgiveness, but to show love in action.

I will pray for you, that the Lord who forgives and covers sin will guard you from despair, give you strength to persevere, and work in your wife's heart to see both truth and grace. I pray that He will protect your children, give you and your wife a spirit of humility and reconciliation, and help you build a home marked by honesty, patience, and faithfulness to Christ. If you feel you may harm yourself or others, or if there is any abuse in the home, please reach out immediately to a trusted pastor and to appropriate help where you live.

You are not unseen by God, and running away is not the answer He offers. Stay, seek Him, seek help, and walk the long path of repentance and endurance, trusting that the merciful God who forgives is also able to restore and sustain.