Philias musheli
Prayer Partner
My challenge didn't go as I thought it would. The main reason I went for it was because I owe 5 people their money. I'm in serious debt and these people I owe live nearby, not far, can just say neighbors skipping 2 to 3 houses to their homes. Some previous month was making up stories, some was telling them to increase the money because I didn't want to cause tension and bring embarrassment upon myself and my family. In this day's challenge, I requested a prayer request. I had plenty of opportunities fake and real but it was not being able to have enough faith, and was playing it safe holding back, that I was missing out. I also had unfair outcomes too much to take. I would do like have correct insights but just come short because of one error. I was running out of days and was too stressed out, feeling my heart too heavy and thinking of what would become of me or where I will end up, before coming to the end of days, ### who stays in the village called and said that he wants me to buy him a laptop, so he sent me the money and I know have done the wrong thing so I have used it to pay off three people their money and two remaining ones will use my low monthly income pay to give one person and half of it remaining will keep it until complete then pay them. Not a good move, but this way it has helped me buy some time and prevented me from disgrace and embarrassment. I know you are thinking about ###, what I have thought to do, If I won't get an improvement on my investment, then will get the loans from the same people and buy ### the laptop which gives me another 30 days to work on my business. Though these past two days have been hard on myself, and stressed out which lead me to thinking about my old sinful habits of watching porn and masturbating used to do it whenever I feel a lot of tension and not technically my intention. Sometimes I feel like due to a lot of setbacks and failed attempts. Thought comes in, GOD won't answer you, you're a sinner. You will be just moving around sinning if he gave you those finances and when I look at that it kills me and makes me do all those stuff, just holding on cause I trying to find something to keep me buy, am not into it. Am not proud of it, neither am I believing those lies, and it's never my intention. All I ever want is to find a GODLY partner to be with and move together in Christ. I never intend to sin not my goal. But all this thought slows me down and when I look at how far I have come this is a 6 year plus of chasing the financial dream. Like I have a great skill for it, I have developed my skills and myself, I feel confident, whole and I know what I am doing. But just this all thing stresses me out..! Like I am not perfect for GOD'S blessings, but I know I fought my way through out my existence to be of GOD, he has been with me through out everything and my conscious never allow me to be on the wrong. I can't even do anything wrong cause I would live a moment in peace and even if I had what I wanted I wouldn't turn away from GOD. I love being in the presence of GOD, it's something that completes my daily life. Please pray for me...