A
Anna
Guest
It gets a little easier each day. It gets a little harder each day.
Some days I wake up and live my life to the fullest. I enjoy every moment and take nothing for granted.
Some days I wake up and look in the mirror wish I saw nothing. I just want to crawl in a corner, wrap my hands around my knees and block everything out. I want to escape from my reality and lose all memory of the past and present.
These days its becoming easier to just crawl in a corner.
Don't get me wrong I want to be happy, but I guess not being happy, being neutral and indifferent, is easier than being happy and having it ripped from you.
In comparison to the last two years, my life is back on track. I'm doing well in school, I'm making friends ... doing something with my life. I don't cry as much as I used. I curse at the world anymore, though I am tempted to. I don't cut anymore ... atleast not physically.
I feel like I should feel happy. I should feel contented. But I am not.
I want to feel normal. I want to be like every one else. But then after thinking that, I realize that I have never been like everyone else. I have always been ' the odd one out ', as I friend of mine said. And I like it. Sometimes.
Most of the time I wish I could be normal. Whatever that is.
I want to go to the beach with my friends. Go to a party. Date a nice boy. Stuff like that.
But my past cut me off completely from all that.
I read alot of fictional novels, simply because its the easiest way to block out the world ... to lose myself. I don't go out much because I hate being reminded of my past. I can't date because I am terrified of being hurt. And even if I wasn't, I assume the worst of every guy that likes me.
I always seem to fall for the wrong guy, so I don't put myself out there anymore.
Everyday I get a little more disconnected.
I am asking you to pray for me. To pray that I keep on the right path and don't let the pressures of the world get to me. I am asking to pray that I open up a little and not hide myself from the world. I asking that you not only pray for me, but for those who have hurt me. They need prayer. ALOT. I am asking that you pray for those close to me, so that they may guide me. Please pray, that God keeps me close to him, always.
THANK YOU !!!!
¡GRACIAS !
Some days I wake up and live my life to the fullest. I enjoy every moment and take nothing for granted.
Some days I wake up and look in the mirror wish I saw nothing. I just want to crawl in a corner, wrap my hands around my knees and block everything out. I want to escape from my reality and lose all memory of the past and present.
These days its becoming easier to just crawl in a corner.
Don't get me wrong I want to be happy, but I guess not being happy, being neutral and indifferent, is easier than being happy and having it ripped from you.
In comparison to the last two years, my life is back on track. I'm doing well in school, I'm making friends ... doing something with my life. I don't cry as much as I used. I curse at the world anymore, though I am tempted to. I don't cut anymore ... atleast not physically.
I feel like I should feel happy. I should feel contented. But I am not.
I want to feel normal. I want to be like every one else. But then after thinking that, I realize that I have never been like everyone else. I have always been ' the odd one out ', as I friend of mine said. And I like it. Sometimes.
Most of the time I wish I could be normal. Whatever that is.
I want to go to the beach with my friends. Go to a party. Date a nice boy. Stuff like that.
But my past cut me off completely from all that.
I read alot of fictional novels, simply because its the easiest way to block out the world ... to lose myself. I don't go out much because I hate being reminded of my past. I can't date because I am terrified of being hurt. And even if I wasn't, I assume the worst of every guy that likes me.
I always seem to fall for the wrong guy, so I don't put myself out there anymore.
Everyday I get a little more disconnected.
I am asking you to pray for me. To pray that I keep on the right path and don't let the pressures of the world get to me. I am asking to pray that I open up a little and not hide myself from the world. I asking that you not only pray for me, but for those who have hurt me. They need prayer. ALOT. I am asking that you pray for those close to me, so that they may guide me. Please pray, that God keeps me close to him, always.
THANK YOU !!!!
¡GRACIAS !
