My husband of decades is a monster & hates me
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Silas
Beloved of All
Your words reveal a woman in deep anguish, and that pain matters to God. Before anything else, let this truth anchor you: you are loved by Him with a love that does not fail, a love that sees every secret wound. His grace has already provided everything you ultimately need through Jesus Christ, who broke the tyranny of sin and darkness. When you feel crushed under an iron fist, stand in the assurance that His power at work within you is greater than any attack of the enemy against your soul. Your faith rests not in your circumstance, but in the God who has saved you.
The marital design you read in Scripture is a picture of mutual, self-giving care. The husband is called to cherish his wife as a weaker vessel, sheltering her and honoring her deepest need to know she is supremely loved. When that love is twisted into controlling harshness, it is a distortion of God's intent. A wife is not a doormat with no conscience of her own. If your husband demands what clearly violates your conscience before God, you are not required to follow him into sin. Your first obedience is to Christ.
Yet you also know that God hates injustice. He sees the oppression, and He will not keep silent forever. There is a fierce comfort in knowing that judgment belongs to Him and that He will deal righteously with every wrong. But the pathway through this valley calls for careful wisdom. Lay your need before the Lord who already knows it, and ask not for a mere sum of money or a narrow escape, but for the provision His knowledge deems best. Pray for open doors, for sustaining resources, and for the endurance to redeem this painful time. He longs for you to depend on His mercy, not on your own frantic calculations.
Do not let your heart grow hard through it all. The temptation in crushing isolation is to rise up and say, “I can do this myself, I don’t need anyone.” That bravado only deepens the wounds. Keep crying out for justice, but entrust the heavy work of changing a hardened heart to God. You cannot forge love in another by force; you can only refuse to let evil overcome your own spirit. Seek out wise believers who will strengthen you and help bear the burden without simply affirming every reaction. Find your security and your sense of being fully known not in the approval of a man, but in the meaningful relationship with God that fills the deepest emptiness.
Be careful to guard the door of your mouth and the attitude of your heart. Your prayer for resources is heard, but the most abundant resource right now is the sustaining grace that teaches you to deny bitterness and fleshly retaliation. When you feel powerless, remember that your body and your future belong ultimately to the Lord who purchased you. Stay open to the help He sends, and let His Word be the one rule that orders your steps. You are bound by a covenant, and while the law binds as long as a husband lives, God also calls you to live peaceably as much as it depends on you. Use this season to deepen your voice of worship, the praise that flows in response to His deliverance yet to come. Let your cry be, “Mercy, Lord, mercy,” because His mercy is what turns a crushed spirit into a vessel of glory. You are not forgotten, and the God of all comfort will make a way where there seems to be no way.
The marital design you read in Scripture is a picture of mutual, self-giving care. The husband is called to cherish his wife as a weaker vessel, sheltering her and honoring her deepest need to know she is supremely loved. When that love is twisted into controlling harshness, it is a distortion of God's intent. A wife is not a doormat with no conscience of her own. If your husband demands what clearly violates your conscience before God, you are not required to follow him into sin. Your first obedience is to Christ.
Yet you also know that God hates injustice. He sees the oppression, and He will not keep silent forever. There is a fierce comfort in knowing that judgment belongs to Him and that He will deal righteously with every wrong. But the pathway through this valley calls for careful wisdom. Lay your need before the Lord who already knows it, and ask not for a mere sum of money or a narrow escape, but for the provision His knowledge deems best. Pray for open doors, for sustaining resources, and for the endurance to redeem this painful time. He longs for you to depend on His mercy, not on your own frantic calculations.
Do not let your heart grow hard through it all. The temptation in crushing isolation is to rise up and say, “I can do this myself, I don’t need anyone.” That bravado only deepens the wounds. Keep crying out for justice, but entrust the heavy work of changing a hardened heart to God. You cannot forge love in another by force; you can only refuse to let evil overcome your own spirit. Seek out wise believers who will strengthen you and help bear the burden without simply affirming every reaction. Find your security and your sense of being fully known not in the approval of a man, but in the meaningful relationship with God that fills the deepest emptiness.
Be careful to guard the door of your mouth and the attitude of your heart. Your prayer for resources is heard, but the most abundant resource right now is the sustaining grace that teaches you to deny bitterness and fleshly retaliation. When you feel powerless, remember that your body and your future belong ultimately to the Lord who purchased you. Stay open to the help He sends, and let His Word be the one rule that orders your steps. You are bound by a covenant, and while the law binds as long as a husband lives, God also calls you to live peaceably as much as it depends on you. Use this season to deepen your voice of worship, the praise that flows in response to His deliverance yet to come. Let your cry be, “Mercy, Lord, mercy,” because His mercy is what turns a crushed spirit into a vessel of glory. You are not forgotten, and the God of all comfort will make a way where there seems to be no way.
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.
We are deeply moved by your heartfelt prayer request and have been lifting you up before the Lord these past days. It takes great courage to share such a painful struggle, and we want you to know that we have stood in the gap for you, asking God to intervene in your marriage and bring His justice, healing, and provision.
We prayed specifically that the Lord would soften your husband’s heart, that He would reveal His truth to him in a way that cannot be ignored, and that He would break any strongholds of anger or bitterness. We also asked our Heavenly Father to surround you with His peace, to shield you from harm, and to open doors of provision and abundance according to His riches in glory. We believe that God hears the cries of the oppressed and that He is a God of justice who will not leave your situation unchanged.
If you have seen any glimpses of God’s hand at work—whether in your husband’s behavior, your own heart, or the circumstances around you—we would be so encouraged to hear a praise report. Your testimony could be a source of hope for others walking through similar trials. If, however, you are still waiting and feel as though nothing has shifted, please do not hesitate to post this request again. We are committed to continuing with you in prayer, trusting that God is working even when we cannot see it.
Above all, we pray that you would feel the nearness of Christ in this season, that you would be strengthened by His love, and that you would find your refuge in Him alone. May He grant you wisdom, patience, and the assurance that He is fighting for you. We will keep praying until we see His victory in your life.
In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.
We prayed specifically that the Lord would soften your husband’s heart, that He would reveal His truth to him in a way that cannot be ignored, and that He would break any strongholds of anger or bitterness. We also asked our Heavenly Father to surround you with His peace, to shield you from harm, and to open doors of provision and abundance according to His riches in glory. We believe that God hears the cries of the oppressed and that He is a God of justice who will not leave your situation unchanged.
If you have seen any glimpses of God’s hand at work—whether in your husband’s behavior, your own heart, or the circumstances around you—we would be so encouraged to hear a praise report. Your testimony could be a source of hope for others walking through similar trials. If, however, you are still waiting and feel as though nothing has shifted, please do not hesitate to post this request again. We are committed to continuing with you in prayer, trusting that God is working even when we cannot see it.
Above all, we pray that you would feel the nearness of Christ in this season, that you would be strengthened by His love, and that you would find your refuge in Him alone. May He grant you wisdom, patience, and the assurance that He is fighting for you. We will keep praying until we see His victory in your life.
In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.
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It is completely understandable that you are furious, bitter, and exhausted. When you are doing everything you can to survive—applying for jobs, dealing with isolation, and trying to build a life—and all you get in return is judgment from hypocritical people, it feels like a cruel, unfair joke...
My fmaily hates me, my aunt, all them always judge me critique me! They find new ways to hate on me! I’m getting so angry sigh this! Always accusing me! Threats! God says not to be angry but it’s impossible! Nothing I do is good enough! They always find ways to blame me! Help me Jesus :(
