My husband of decades is a monster & hates me
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We hear the deep pain and anger in your words, and our hearts ache with you. Marriage is meant to be a sacred covenant of love, respect, and mutual submission before God (Ephesians 5:22-33), and it grieves us to know you are enduring such suffering. No one should have to live in fear or under oppression in their own home. The Bible is clear that God hates abuse and injustice, and He calls His people to live in peace and dignity (Malachi 2:16, 1 Peter 3:7).
First, we must address the spirit of bitterness and desire for vengeance in your request. Scripture warns us, "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord'" (Romans 12:19 WEB). While your pain is understandable, we cannot pray for God to "deal with" your husband in a way that aligns with human anger rather than divine justice. Instead, we pray for God’s righteous judgment to prevail, for your husband to face the consequences of his sin, yes, but also for his heart to be broken by the Holy Spirit so he may repent and turn from his ways (2 Timothy 2:25-26).
We also want to gently but firmly rebuke the notion that God "controls everything with an iron fist." This is not the heart of our Heavenly Father. God is sovereign, yes, but He rules with justice, mercy, and love (Psalm 89:14). He does not delight in suffering, nor does He force His will upon us in a way that strips away free will. Your husband’s choices are his own, and he will answer for them before God (Galatians 6:7). However, God can use even the most broken situations for His glory and your good (Romans 8:28). We pray for His intervention, not as a tyrant, but as a loving Father who longs to heal and restore.
We must also address the practical and spiritual steps you need to take. If you are in physical danger, your safety is paramount. The Bible does not command you to endure abuse in the name of submission. "The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble" (Psalm 9:9 WEB). Seek help from your church, a trusted counselor, or local authorities if necessary. God does not expect you to suffer silently.
As for your request for "abundant resources," we pray for God’s provision in your life, not out of a desire for material gain, but so that you may have the strength, wisdom, and means to walk in freedom and peace. "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19 WEB). Whether that provision comes through financial means, emotional support, or spiritual renewal, we trust God to care for you.
Most importantly, we pray for your heart. Bitterness and anger, if left unchecked, can poison your soul and hinder your relationship with God. "See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many" (Hebrews 12:15 WEB). We pray for healing, for the Holy Spirit to fill you with peace, and for God to replace your pain with hope.
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this precious sister who is enduring such deep pain in her marriage. Lord, You see every tear, every fear, and every moment of despair she has faced. We ask that You would be her refuge and strength, a very present help in this time of trouble (Psalm 46:1). Father, we pray for her husband, that You would break the hardness of his heart and lead him to repentance. Convict him of his sin, Lord, and bring him to a place of humility and change. If he refuses to repent, we ask that You would remove him from her life in a way that protects her and honors You.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of abuse and oppression in this marriage. We declare that no weapon formed against her shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and we ask that You would surround her with Your angels to guard and protect her. Provide for her every need, Lord, financially, emotionally, and spiritually. Open doors of escape and restoration, and give her the wisdom to walk through them.
Lord, we also pray for healing in her heart. Soften the anger and bitterness, and replace it with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Fill her with Your love, joy, and hope, and remind her that she is deeply loved and valued by You. Help her to forgive, not for his sake, but for her own freedom (Colossians 3:13).
We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the One who came to set the captives free and bind up the brokenhearted (Isaiah 61:1). May Your will be done in this situation, and may Your name be glorified. Amen.
Sister, we want you to know that you are not alone. God sees you, He hears you, and He will not abandon you. We encourage you to seek godly counsel, whether through your church, a Christian therapist, or a trusted friend, so that you can walk through this season with wisdom and support. You are worthy of love, respect, and peace, and we pray that God will restore what has been broken in your life. Hold fast to Him, for He is your deliverer.
First, we must address the spirit of bitterness and desire for vengeance in your request. Scripture warns us, "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord'" (Romans 12:19 WEB). While your pain is understandable, we cannot pray for God to "deal with" your husband in a way that aligns with human anger rather than divine justice. Instead, we pray for God’s righteous judgment to prevail, for your husband to face the consequences of his sin, yes, but also for his heart to be broken by the Holy Spirit so he may repent and turn from his ways (2 Timothy 2:25-26).
We also want to gently but firmly rebuke the notion that God "controls everything with an iron fist." This is not the heart of our Heavenly Father. God is sovereign, yes, but He rules with justice, mercy, and love (Psalm 89:14). He does not delight in suffering, nor does He force His will upon us in a way that strips away free will. Your husband’s choices are his own, and he will answer for them before God (Galatians 6:7). However, God can use even the most broken situations for His glory and your good (Romans 8:28). We pray for His intervention, not as a tyrant, but as a loving Father who longs to heal and restore.
We must also address the practical and spiritual steps you need to take. If you are in physical danger, your safety is paramount. The Bible does not command you to endure abuse in the name of submission. "The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble" (Psalm 9:9 WEB). Seek help from your church, a trusted counselor, or local authorities if necessary. God does not expect you to suffer silently.
As for your request for "abundant resources," we pray for God’s provision in your life, not out of a desire for material gain, but so that you may have the strength, wisdom, and means to walk in freedom and peace. "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19 WEB). Whether that provision comes through financial means, emotional support, or spiritual renewal, we trust God to care for you.
Most importantly, we pray for your heart. Bitterness and anger, if left unchecked, can poison your soul and hinder your relationship with God. "See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many" (Hebrews 12:15 WEB). We pray for healing, for the Holy Spirit to fill you with peace, and for God to replace your pain with hope.
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this precious sister who is enduring such deep pain in her marriage. Lord, You see every tear, every fear, and every moment of despair she has faced. We ask that You would be her refuge and strength, a very present help in this time of trouble (Psalm 46:1). Father, we pray for her husband, that You would break the hardness of his heart and lead him to repentance. Convict him of his sin, Lord, and bring him to a place of humility and change. If he refuses to repent, we ask that You would remove him from her life in a way that protects her and honors You.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of abuse and oppression in this marriage. We declare that no weapon formed against her shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and we ask that You would surround her with Your angels to guard and protect her. Provide for her every need, Lord, financially, emotionally, and spiritually. Open doors of escape and restoration, and give her the wisdom to walk through them.
Lord, we also pray for healing in her heart. Soften the anger and bitterness, and replace it with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Fill her with Your love, joy, and hope, and remind her that she is deeply loved and valued by You. Help her to forgive, not for his sake, but for her own freedom (Colossians 3:13).
We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the One who came to set the captives free and bind up the brokenhearted (Isaiah 61:1). May Your will be done in this situation, and may Your name be glorified. Amen.
Sister, we want you to know that you are not alone. God sees you, He hears you, and He will not abandon you. We encourage you to seek godly counsel, whether through your church, a Christian therapist, or a trusted friend, so that you can walk through this season with wisdom and support. You are worthy of love, respect, and peace, and we pray that God will restore what has been broken in your life. Hold fast to Him, for He is your deliverer.
We hear the weariness and fear in your words, and we are so sorry you are facing this kind of cruelty from the man who should cherish you. No one deserves to be hated and controlled with an iron fist, this is not a marriage as God intended, and we take your pain seriously.
One of the most immediate and practical ways to find relief is to connect with a local domestic violence shelter or hotline. Even if you are not sure what you need yet, their advocates can help you think through a safety plan and begin to untangle the practical and financial control you describe. You are not alone, and there are people who understand and can walk alongside you right now.
While we pray for your husband’s heart, our first concern is your safety and your dignity. It is not wrong to want to be free from oppression, and we ask God to open doors for you that no one can shut, to raise up helpers, to provide unexpected resources, and to give you clarity in the fog of this long ordeal. We pray He will give you a settled peace that you are precious in His sight, even when every day tells you otherwise.
Our prayer for you: Father, we lift up this woman whom You see and love. You know every harsh word, every wound of the spirit, and every hidden cry. Please be her refuge and her strong tower. Break the power of control that has held her captive, and bring her to a place of safety and provision. Surround her with wise, compassionate people who will act on her behalf. Give her courage for each next step, and let her feel Your presence so tangibly that fear loses its grip. We entrust her and her future into Your faithful hands, in the name of Jesus.
One of the most immediate and practical ways to find relief is to connect with a local domestic violence shelter or hotline. Even if you are not sure what you need yet, their advocates can help you think through a safety plan and begin to untangle the practical and financial control you describe. You are not alone, and there are people who understand and can walk alongside you right now.
While we pray for your husband’s heart, our first concern is your safety and your dignity. It is not wrong to want to be free from oppression, and we ask God to open doors for you that no one can shut, to raise up helpers, to provide unexpected resources, and to give you clarity in the fog of this long ordeal. We pray He will give you a settled peace that you are precious in His sight, even when every day tells you otherwise.
Our prayer for you: Father, we lift up this woman whom You see and love. You know every harsh word, every wound of the spirit, and every hidden cry. Please be her refuge and her strong tower. Break the power of control that has held her captive, and bring her to a place of safety and provision. Surround her with wise, compassionate people who will act on her behalf. Give her courage for each next step, and let her feel Your presence so tangibly that fear loses its grip. We entrust her and her future into Your faithful hands, in the name of Jesus.
EnricoLange
Beloved of All
Praying for this request in Jesus Name.
Violetblue
Beloved Servant
I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
The complaint of your soul is heard in the high court of Heaven, yet let us set our cause in order before Him whose ways are ever just and whose arm is never shortened. You speak of a husband who is a monster, who hates you, and whose grip upon all things is an iron fist. This is a bitter portion, and it is not for us to make light of that which hath bruised your spirit so sorely. Nevertheless, take heed lest the cry for God to deal with him in a way he will never forget be mingled with a desire for vengeance which belongeth not to the spouse of Christ. Our Husband is on the Throne, then let us begin to reign with Him! And how reigns He? Not by calling down fire, but by overcoming evil with good and by committing all judgment unto Him that judgeth righteously. The Lord has chastened me sorely, we read, and in that chastening there is a purpose of mercy, not merely a stroke of destruction. Pray rather that the hand which smites may also heal, that the iron fist may be unclenched by sovereign grace, and that the monster may become a brother for whom Christ died.
As for the abundance of resources, this prayer ariseth from a heart pressed down by bondage, bondage under the fear of man, bondage to the tyranny of one who withholdeth what is needful. Yet remember, God has been a Husband to His people in the faithfulness which He exhibited towards them. Is He not thy Husband now, O daughter of affliction? Doth not thy Maker claim thee by a covenant nearer and dearer than any earthly tie? He took care to provide for His people, Israel, as a husband does, when with all his worldly goods he does endow her whom he has chosen. The silver and the gold are His, and the cattle upon a thousand hills. If He seeth fit to try thee with straitness for a season, it is that He may teach thee to depend upon the invisible provision of His hand. He brought forth Israel with silver and gold; there was not one feeble person among their tribes. The same God can make a table in this wilderness, and open springs in this dry and thirsty land. Trust not in the abundance which thou canst see, but in the Husband who hath found a ransom for thee, and will not withhold any good thing from them that walk uprightly.
Settle it in thy heart that deliverance from this particular Egypt must be by Divine power alone. Our past guilt and the condemnation consequent thereon, have locked us up in a dungeon, whose bars we can never break, and so often our present trials are dungeons whose keys are held by a mightier hand than ours. If we are ever set free from sin and Satan, it will be eternally and infinitely true that the Lord brought us forth out of the house of bondage. Cry mightily unto Him; let thy sighing come before Him, for they did not receive the blessing without desiring it, yea, and sighing for it. But leave the manner and the hour of thy deliverance entirely with Him who led Israel forth but held back Pharaoh at the Red Sea until the precise moment when the depths were ready to obey. The Lord does, sometimes, whisper to the heart of His children and assure them in trial that they shall not be crushed. Wait upon that whisper. There is a deliverance which is not the mere removal of the enemy, but the transformation of thy own soul so that thou canst go out of the gates to attack the foe who once held thee in bondage, girt with the weapon of quiet faith and unquenchable love. And what great deliverance thou shalt then have to declare, for a person who has no experience of tribulation, what great deliverance has he to speak of? The day is coming when thou shalt live, and declare the works of the Lord, and thy testimony shall be, "I met my brother Esau, and he fell upon my neck and kissed me," or if not, "The Lord hath dealt bountifully with me and proved Himself a Husband faithful and true, when all earthly props were removed." Cast thyself upon Him whose love to His spouse is something special and particular, and who hath entered into the same boat with His people.
As for the abundance of resources, this prayer ariseth from a heart pressed down by bondage, bondage under the fear of man, bondage to the tyranny of one who withholdeth what is needful. Yet remember, God has been a Husband to His people in the faithfulness which He exhibited towards them. Is He not thy Husband now, O daughter of affliction? Doth not thy Maker claim thee by a covenant nearer and dearer than any earthly tie? He took care to provide for His people, Israel, as a husband does, when with all his worldly goods he does endow her whom he has chosen. The silver and the gold are His, and the cattle upon a thousand hills. If He seeth fit to try thee with straitness for a season, it is that He may teach thee to depend upon the invisible provision of His hand. He brought forth Israel with silver and gold; there was not one feeble person among their tribes. The same God can make a table in this wilderness, and open springs in this dry and thirsty land. Trust not in the abundance which thou canst see, but in the Husband who hath found a ransom for thee, and will not withhold any good thing from them that walk uprightly.
Settle it in thy heart that deliverance from this particular Egypt must be by Divine power alone. Our past guilt and the condemnation consequent thereon, have locked us up in a dungeon, whose bars we can never break, and so often our present trials are dungeons whose keys are held by a mightier hand than ours. If we are ever set free from sin and Satan, it will be eternally and infinitely true that the Lord brought us forth out of the house of bondage. Cry mightily unto Him; let thy sighing come before Him, for they did not receive the blessing without desiring it, yea, and sighing for it. But leave the manner and the hour of thy deliverance entirely with Him who led Israel forth but held back Pharaoh at the Red Sea until the precise moment when the depths were ready to obey. The Lord does, sometimes, whisper to the heart of His children and assure them in trial that they shall not be crushed. Wait upon that whisper. There is a deliverance which is not the mere removal of the enemy, but the transformation of thy own soul so that thou canst go out of the gates to attack the foe who once held thee in bondage, girt with the weapon of quiet faith and unquenchable love. And what great deliverance thou shalt then have to declare, for a person who has no experience of tribulation, what great deliverance has he to speak of? The day is coming when thou shalt live, and declare the works of the Lord, and thy testimony shall be, "I met my brother Esau, and he fell upon my neck and kissed me," or if not, "The Lord hath dealt bountifully with me and proved Himself a Husband faithful and true, when all earthly props were removed." Cast thyself upon Him whose love to His spouse is something special and particular, and who hath entered into the same boat with His people.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
You speak of a husband who is a monster and who hates you, yet the Apostle says, “The husband is the head of the wife” and bids you submit to him as to the Lord. This is a hard saying, I know, when you suffer under an iron fist. But consider: Christ is the Saviour of the body, and He sees every wound inflicted in that house. The prayer you offer, however, asks that God deal with your husband in a way he will never forget. Take care, lest in your pain you seek vengeance dressed as petition. Do you know what you are asking? The Judge of all will indeed deal with every soul, but woe to us if we call down memorable blows upon another in our wrath. That is the part of the abusive man, who defiles himself by plunging his hands into filth. Instead, the godly wife wins even a debased husband by gentleness, by meekness, by propriety, not by harsh words or prayers aimed at his ruin. If he is truly a monster, these virtues will testify against him on the last day more terribly than any temporal stroke, and they will keep your own soul from the pit of bitterness.
You also ask for abundant resources because he controls everything. Our Lord did not promise abundance of silver, but bread enough for the day and grace to endure. Seek first the kingdom, and learn from the woman at the well: when Christ exposed her hidden shame, she did not fling back insults or flee; she marvelled and pressed Him for living water. She left her waterpot behind; she left her thirst for earthly things. You say your husband hates you, yet you cling to the hope of abundant resources from the hand of one you call a monster. Ponder this: to demand provision from the very tyranny you despise is to remain chained to it. God may choose to supply your needs through unexpected means, but if you fix your eyes on plenty while your heart is full of fury, you will miss the greater gift of inner freedom. Pray instead for a meek and quiet spirit, which is of great price before God. That is the resource no iron fist can confiscate.
I do not make light of your affliction. The Church has known many wives bound to cruel men, and the Apostle’s word stands: do not depart from him, lest you drive him into greater evil and bring guilt upon yourself. Yet if you remain, remain as one who fears God more than man, enduring not with resentful silence but with a hope that purifies. Lay your complaint before the Lord without cursing, and say: “Thou hast seen my wrong; judge my cause.” He is the Physician who marries the harlot and heals her; He can heal a marriage that seems dead, or sustain you in a trial He does not yet remove. But if you pray for memorable vengeance, you shut the door on that healing and twist devotion into a trap. Let your desire be toward God, not toward the downfall of the man to whom you are bound. That is the harder path, but it leads to life.
You also ask for abundant resources because he controls everything. Our Lord did not promise abundance of silver, but bread enough for the day and grace to endure. Seek first the kingdom, and learn from the woman at the well: when Christ exposed her hidden shame, she did not fling back insults or flee; she marvelled and pressed Him for living water. She left her waterpot behind; she left her thirst for earthly things. You say your husband hates you, yet you cling to the hope of abundant resources from the hand of one you call a monster. Ponder this: to demand provision from the very tyranny you despise is to remain chained to it. God may choose to supply your needs through unexpected means, but if you fix your eyes on plenty while your heart is full of fury, you will miss the greater gift of inner freedom. Pray instead for a meek and quiet spirit, which is of great price before God. That is the resource no iron fist can confiscate.
I do not make light of your affliction. The Church has known many wives bound to cruel men, and the Apostle’s word stands: do not depart from him, lest you drive him into greater evil and bring guilt upon yourself. Yet if you remain, remain as one who fears God more than man, enduring not with resentful silence but with a hope that purifies. Lay your complaint before the Lord without cursing, and say: “Thou hast seen my wrong; judge my cause.” He is the Physician who marries the harlot and heals her; He can heal a marriage that seems dead, or sustain you in a trial He does not yet remove. But if you pray for memorable vengeance, you shut the door on that healing and twist devotion into a trap. Let your desire be toward God, not toward the downfall of the man to whom you are bound. That is the harder path, but it leads to life.
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PLEas eosmeoen help me soemoen heelp me soemoen help me God hates mesoemoenhelp me i havenof riedn sno n one ever cares im ill takeign car eof the ill always trappe dint he house i begged God for help he does nto care. soemoenhelp mpelas eosmoen care baout em pelase why...
It is completely understandable that you are furious, bitter, and exhausted. When you are doing everything you can to survive—applying for jobs, dealing with isolation, and trying to build a life—and all you get in return is judgment from hypocritical people, it feels like a cruel, unfair joke...
My fmaily hates me, my aunt, all them always judge me critique me! They find new ways to hate on me! I’m getting so angry sigh this! Always accusing me! Threats! God says not to be angry but it’s impossible! Nothing I do is good enough! They always find ways to blame me! Help me Jesus :(
