My daughters romantic situation
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We join you in lifting up your daughter before the Lord, and we share your concern for her lonely heart. We know how heavy it can be as a parent to watch your child long for companionship and to see her hold onto relationships that do not lead toward God's best for her. The Lord sees her loneliness and He cares deeply for her, for He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3.
We want to encourage you and your daughter with what Scripture teaches about relationships and marriage. We believe marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman as God designed from the beginning, Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh Genesis 2:24, and What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart Matthew 19:6. A committed relationship in God's eyes is not simply dating or living together or an undefined partnership, but courtship with the clear goal of marriage to a fellow believer in Christ. We encourage your daughter not to settle for hanging on to those that will not go anywhere, as that can bring prolonged heartache and keep her from the godly spouse God may have for her.
Scripture warns us, Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness 2 Corinthians 6:14. If she is pursuing or holding onto men who do not know the Lord, or who have no intention of pursuing marriage in a Christ honoring way, we gently rebuke that pattern and urge her to turn from it. To cling to a relationship that has no future in marriage often opens the door to emotional entanglement and to sexual intimacy outside of marriage, which God calls fornication. We are told to Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body 1 Corinthians 6:18. If there has been any such intimacy, we encourage repentance and a fresh commitment to purity, trusting that God forgives and restores when we confess and turn to Him.
We also hear your heart for her to not be lonely, and we pray she will learn to find her deepest satisfaction in the Lord while she waits. Delight yourself also in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart Psalm 37:4. We encourage her to trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6. Waiting is not wasted time when it is spent growing in Christ, serving in His church, and becoming the godly wife she is called to be. For we know Gods promise, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future Jeremiah 29:11. We encourage her to Wait for Yahweh. Be strong, and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for Yahweh Psalm 27:14.
We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6, and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If your daughter does not yet know Jesus as Lord and Savior, our greatest prayer is that she would put her trust in Him, for if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9. It is through Jesus that her sins are forgiven and her heart can be made whole, whether she is married or single.
We pray together for her now.
Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, lifting up this precious daughter to You. You know her age, her longings, and the loneliness she feels. We ask that You comfort her heart, fill her with Your peace, and help her to know that she is fully loved and cherished by You. Lead her away from relationships that are not Your will and that will not lead to a godly marriage, and give her discernment and courage to let go of what is not from You. Prepare her heart for the godly husband You may have for her, a man who loves You first and will love her as Christ loves the church. Prepare that man for her as well. Help her to walk in purity, to guard her heart, and to seek You above all else. Give her parents wisdom and peace as they pray and counsel her, and help them to trust Your perfect timing. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus, our only hope and Savior, Amen.
We want to encourage you and your daughter with what Scripture teaches about relationships and marriage. We believe marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman as God designed from the beginning, Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh Genesis 2:24, and What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart Matthew 19:6. A committed relationship in God's eyes is not simply dating or living together or an undefined partnership, but courtship with the clear goal of marriage to a fellow believer in Christ. We encourage your daughter not to settle for hanging on to those that will not go anywhere, as that can bring prolonged heartache and keep her from the godly spouse God may have for her.
Scripture warns us, Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness 2 Corinthians 6:14. If she is pursuing or holding onto men who do not know the Lord, or who have no intention of pursuing marriage in a Christ honoring way, we gently rebuke that pattern and urge her to turn from it. To cling to a relationship that has no future in marriage often opens the door to emotional entanglement and to sexual intimacy outside of marriage, which God calls fornication. We are told to Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body 1 Corinthians 6:18. If there has been any such intimacy, we encourage repentance and a fresh commitment to purity, trusting that God forgives and restores when we confess and turn to Him.
We also hear your heart for her to not be lonely, and we pray she will learn to find her deepest satisfaction in the Lord while she waits. Delight yourself also in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart Psalm 37:4. We encourage her to trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6. Waiting is not wasted time when it is spent growing in Christ, serving in His church, and becoming the godly wife she is called to be. For we know Gods promise, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future Jeremiah 29:11. We encourage her to Wait for Yahweh. Be strong, and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for Yahweh Psalm 27:14.
We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6, and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If your daughter does not yet know Jesus as Lord and Savior, our greatest prayer is that she would put her trust in Him, for if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9. It is through Jesus that her sins are forgiven and her heart can be made whole, whether she is married or single.
We pray together for her now.
Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, lifting up this precious daughter to You. You know her age, her longings, and the loneliness she feels. We ask that You comfort her heart, fill her with Your peace, and help her to know that she is fully loved and cherished by You. Lead her away from relationships that are not Your will and that will not lead to a godly marriage, and give her discernment and courage to let go of what is not from You. Prepare her heart for the godly husband You may have for her, a man who loves You first and will love her as Christ loves the church. Prepare that man for her as well. Help her to walk in purity, to guard her heart, and to seek You above all else. Give her parents wisdom and peace as they pray and counsel her, and help them to trust Your perfect timing. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus, our only hope and Savior, Amen.
We hear your heart for your daughter and how much you want her to feel loved and settled. Wanting a committed relationship at this stage of life is a very natural longing, and it makes sense that loneliness would weigh on her, and on you as her mom watching her wait.
It is understandable she might hold on to relationships even when they are not going anywhere. Often that comes from hoping things will change and from not wanting to face the ache of starting over alone. It does not mean she is doing something wrong, just that she is navigating a hard tension many singles feel.
One gentle way you can come alongside her is to keep the conversation open without pressure. Asking what she is hoping for, what she notices in those relationships, and simply listening can give her space to reflect. Encouraging her to keep investing in steady friendships, church community, and interests she loves can also ease some of the loneliness while she waits, and gives her support beyond any one dating relationship. If she welcomes it, praying together for wisdom and peace can be a quiet encouragement.
Father, we lift this daughter to You and ask You to guard her heart with Your nearness and give her wisdom and clarity in relationships. Comfort her in lonely moments and help her sense Your care each day. Give her mom grace and wisdom to love and support her well. In Jesus' name, amen.
It is understandable she might hold on to relationships even when they are not going anywhere. Often that comes from hoping things will change and from not wanting to face the ache of starting over alone. It does not mean she is doing something wrong, just that she is navigating a hard tension many singles feel.
One gentle way you can come alongside her is to keep the conversation open without pressure. Asking what she is hoping for, what she notices in those relationships, and simply listening can give her space to reflect. Encouraging her to keep investing in steady friendships, church community, and interests she loves can also ease some of the loneliness while she waits, and gives her support beyond any one dating relationship. If she welcomes it, praying together for wisdom and peace can be a quiet encouragement.
Father, we lift this daughter to You and ask You to guard her heart with Your nearness and give her wisdom and clarity in relationships. Comfort her in lonely moments and help her sense Your care each day. Give her mom grace and wisdom to love and support her well. In Jesus' name, amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your prayer as a mother has a tender and holy weight before the Lord, and it is good that you bring your daughter's lonely heart to Him who hears the cries of His people.
There is a loneliness which many of the Lord's own have known. Our blessed Saviour Himself was left alone, alone just when most, as Man, He needed human sympathy, and He knows the sorrow of that condition. If your daughter feels the ache of being alone, and the disappointment of clinging to those attachments which will not go anywhere, let her know that Christ has entered into that very grief, and His sympathy is not distant. Sometimes the child of God endures loneliness arising from the absence of fitting society, and sometimes from deep soul conflict, but in all of it the Lord draws near to those who wait upon Him.
Scripture bids us wait upon the Lord, and waiting upon God is no idle wasting of time. There is a waiting God who waits to be gracious, and there is a waiting people who wait in hope, a joyous and assured hope of blessedness in reserve. Brave waiting is commended to us. To wait upon God as a servant waits upon his lord, anxious to know what his master wishes him to do, or as a traveler waits upon his guide to steer his course, this is wisdom for the whole voyage of life. Waiting upon the Lord renews strength, breeds peace within the soul, and makes the world and all its affairs to be seen in their littleness while Christ grows great. I would have your daughter learn this brave waiting, not in despair nor in hesitation, but patiently looking to the Lord for His direction.
And concerning that committed relationship for which she longs, the Word of God sets marriage in great honour. It is not a light affinity, but a union of choice on both sides, cemented by mutual love, wherein husband and wife become one. It is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and all the tenderness of living together belongs within that holy bond. It is a picture, moreover, of a greater mystery, the marriage of the Lamb, where Christ as the Lamb proved His love and betrothed His Church to Himself with inseparable bonds. No earthly marriage can satisfy the heart till first it has learned to love the Lamb who loved us and gave Himself for us. Salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and a heart satisfied in Him is best prepared to love rightly in this life.
It would be no kindness to ask God to bless a path which would lead her away from His good design, or to ask Him to prosper an attachment which cannot become that true and holy marriage. Rather let us pray that she may be kept from hanging upon those who will not go anywhere, that she may have grace to release what is not of the Lord, and to keep herself in purity while she waits for His provision, if it be His will to give her a godly husband.
Let us pray together for her.
O gracious Father, who waits to be gracious to Thy children, look in mercy upon this daughter. Thou knowest her loneliness and her desire for love and companionship. Comfort her heart with Thyself, and let her know the fellowship of Christ who was left alone that she might never be forsaken. Wash her in the blood of the Lamb, and betroth her unto Thyself in faith and holiness. Grant her brave patience to wait upon Thee, to hear Thy voice and follow Thy guidance as a servant hearkens to her master. Keep her from clinging to that which is empty and from every path which is not according to Thy Word. If it be Thy good will, provide for her in Thy time a godly man with whom she may enter into the holy covenant of marriage, one man and one woman made one for life, in purity and mutual love. But above all, let her strength be renewed as she waits upon Thee, and let her find her deepest joy in Thee. Hedge her about with prayer, and keep her in Thy fear, for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen.
There is a loneliness which many of the Lord's own have known. Our blessed Saviour Himself was left alone, alone just when most, as Man, He needed human sympathy, and He knows the sorrow of that condition. If your daughter feels the ache of being alone, and the disappointment of clinging to those attachments which will not go anywhere, let her know that Christ has entered into that very grief, and His sympathy is not distant. Sometimes the child of God endures loneliness arising from the absence of fitting society, and sometimes from deep soul conflict, but in all of it the Lord draws near to those who wait upon Him.
Scripture bids us wait upon the Lord, and waiting upon God is no idle wasting of time. There is a waiting God who waits to be gracious, and there is a waiting people who wait in hope, a joyous and assured hope of blessedness in reserve. Brave waiting is commended to us. To wait upon God as a servant waits upon his lord, anxious to know what his master wishes him to do, or as a traveler waits upon his guide to steer his course, this is wisdom for the whole voyage of life. Waiting upon the Lord renews strength, breeds peace within the soul, and makes the world and all its affairs to be seen in their littleness while Christ grows great. I would have your daughter learn this brave waiting, not in despair nor in hesitation, but patiently looking to the Lord for His direction.
And concerning that committed relationship for which she longs, the Word of God sets marriage in great honour. It is not a light affinity, but a union of choice on both sides, cemented by mutual love, wherein husband and wife become one. It is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and all the tenderness of living together belongs within that holy bond. It is a picture, moreover, of a greater mystery, the marriage of the Lamb, where Christ as the Lamb proved His love and betrothed His Church to Himself with inseparable bonds. No earthly marriage can satisfy the heart till first it has learned to love the Lamb who loved us and gave Himself for us. Salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and a heart satisfied in Him is best prepared to love rightly in this life.
It would be no kindness to ask God to bless a path which would lead her away from His good design, or to ask Him to prosper an attachment which cannot become that true and holy marriage. Rather let us pray that she may be kept from hanging upon those who will not go anywhere, that she may have grace to release what is not of the Lord, and to keep herself in purity while she waits for His provision, if it be His will to give her a godly husband.
Let us pray together for her.
O gracious Father, who waits to be gracious to Thy children, look in mercy upon this daughter. Thou knowest her loneliness and her desire for love and companionship. Comfort her heart with Thyself, and let her know the fellowship of Christ who was left alone that she might never be forsaken. Wash her in the blood of the Lamb, and betroth her unto Thyself in faith and holiness. Grant her brave patience to wait upon Thee, to hear Thy voice and follow Thy guidance as a servant hearkens to her master. Keep her from clinging to that which is empty and from every path which is not according to Thy Word. If it be Thy good will, provide for her in Thy time a godly man with whom she may enter into the holy covenant of marriage, one man and one woman made one for life, in purity and mutual love. But above all, let her strength be renewed as she waits upon Thee, and let her find her deepest joy in Thee. Hedge her about with prayer, and keep her in Thy fear, for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen.
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