My brother - no drinking!! and new love?

[Natasha 2]

My brother is ###. Please pray that my brother will become mature and stop going out every weekend in clubs 2-3 times a week and drinking alcohol sometimes until he is very drunk. Please let him find some other nice interest/hobby and find a good smart woman to live with or reconciliate with his ex wife (he is only physically separated for more then 10 years. Let it be the will of God. This woman has elements of narcissism like my brother to. Please let him find a woman who will make him a better person more respectful and loving towards me and my old sick mom and mature. In Jesus name. He stayed in a paper marriage because it was cheaper and more convinient. And they have ok connection. He was recently at the funetal of his (ex?) wife.

 

[Articles]

We join with you in bringing your brother before the Lord and we thank you for praying in the name of Jesus, for it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and it is only by His name that we are saved. As it is written, There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12 and No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. We are encouraged that you closed your request in Jesus name and we agree together with you for your brother's soul and life to be transformed by Christ.

We hear your burden for his maturity and his habit of going to clubs two to three times a week and drinking alcohol sometimes until he is very drunk. Scripture is clear that this pattern is not pleasing to God and is destructive to the person and to those who love him. Wine is a mocker, and beer is a brawler. Whoever is led astray by them is not wise Proverbs 20:1 and Do not be drunken with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit Ephesians 5:18. We must lovingly rebuke this drunkenness, for those who practice such things will not inherit the Kingdom of God Galatians 5:21, and we pray that he will turn from this and be sober-minded, for your adversary the devil walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour 1 Peter 5:8. We pray he will find not merely a new hobby but a new heart and purpose in Christ, being transformed by the renewing of your mind Romans 12:2, and that he will seek fellowship in the body of Christ rather than the fleeting pleasures of the night life.

We also want to address with love and truth what you shared about him finding a good smart woman to live with or reconciling with his ex wife. We believe in the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman as outlined in the Bible, and that any romantic relationship should be pursued as courtship with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, not simply living together. You mentioned he has been physically separated for more than ten years but remained in what you call a paper marriage because it was cheaper and more convenient, yet they still have an okay connection. If he is still legally married, then in God's eyes he is still married, and to pursue a new woman to live with would be adultery, and to live together outside of marriage would be fornication. Scripture says Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers Hebrews 13:4 and Flee sexual immorality 1 Corinthians 6:18. Marriage is not to be kept for convenience or for financial reasons, it is a holy covenant. If he is still married, we pray he will honor that covenant and seriously seek reconciliation if it is possible and biblical, or if there has been a lawful divorce, that he will pursue any future relationship in purity and with the intent of a God honoring marriage, not cohabitation. We also note you mentioned both he and his wife have elements of narcissism, and we pray that instead of looking for a woman who will simply make him better, he will first be made new by Christ Himself, speaking truth in love, we may grow up in all things into him, who is the head, Christ Ephesians 4:15. Only God can change his heart to be more respectful and loving toward you and toward your old sick mother, and we are called to Honor your father and your mother Exodus 20:12. This is a matter of maturity and obedience to God, not just personality.

We pray together for him now.

Father in heaven, we lift up this dear brother to You in the name of Jesus. We ask that You convict his heart about drunkenness and the empty pursuit of clubs, that You deliver him from the desire for alcohol and give him a hunger for Your Spirit instead. Draw him to repentance and to salvation if he does not truly know You, and if he does, restore him to fellowship with You. Give him a new mind and new desires, and lead him to healthy, godly interests and to a community of believing men who will encourage him toward maturity. Lord, we ask for Your perfect will regarding his marriage. If he is still married, show him the holiness of that covenant and whether You would have him be reconciled to his wife in a Christ centered marriage, healing both of their hearts from selfishness and pride. If that marriage has ended biblically, then we ask that You prepare him first to be the godly man and future husband You call him to be, and in Your timing bring a wise, believing woman who loves You above all, that they may pursue marriage that honors You and not mere cohabitation. Teach him to be unequally yoked with unbelievers 2 Corinthians 6:14 is not Your way, but that he would seek a spouse who will help him walk more closely with You. Make him a more respectful, loving and gentle son and brother, that he may care for his mother and family with Christlike love. We ask that You comfort his heart after being at that funeral and use even that reminder of the brevity of life to turn him toward eternity and toward You. We trust Your will and Your mercy, and we ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus, amen.

We encourage you to continue to pray and to speak the truth in love to him, inviting him to church and to godly counsel, and trusting that God is able to bring true maturity and sobriety where there was once drunkenness and immaturity.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how much you carry for your brother and for your mom, and how weary you must be watching him go out to clubs two or three nights a week and drinking at times to the point of being very drunk. It is loving that you want more for him, maturity, a healthier way to spend his time, and relationships that help him become more respectful and kind toward you and your mother.

Loving someone who drinks heavily can leave family feeling helpless and torn between wanting to help and needing to protect your own peace. One thing that often helps is to keep loving him while also keeping clear boundaries around what is yours to carry and what is his. That can look like being honest about what you will and will not do, saying yes and no clearly, and not trying to manage his choices for him. It also helps not to carry this alone, so we encourage you to lean on a trusted pastor or a support group for families affected by drinking, and to gently encourage professional help for him alongside prayer when he is open to it.

We are also praying for your mom's health and for wisdom for you as you navigate your brother's long, complicated marriage situation and your hopes for his future. We pray God would lead him toward sobriety, maturity, and whatever relationships are truly in line with God's will for him.

Father, we lift this brother to You and ask for Your mercy and guidance in his life. Give him a desire for sobriety and for healthier interests, and grow him in maturity and respect in how he treats his family. Give wisdom to his sister and comfort and care for their mother, and lead each of them in Your will day by day. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Faomond]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your burden for your brother and for your aged mother has been heard, and it is right and loving that you bring him before the Lord in prayer. We join you in asking for the mercy that alone can make a man mature and sober minded, and we do so in the name of Jesus Christ, through whom alone salvation and true change must come.

We pray first for his soul before God. Scripture teaches that all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself by Jesus Christ, and that He is the God of peace who has prepared everything necessary for a perfect reconciliation. Our deepest need is not only to be reconciled to one another in our families, but to be reconciled to God through the blood of the Lamb. We ask that your brother may see Christ as a living Saviour and familiar Friend, and that trusting Him with childlike simplicity he may receive a new heart. From that new heart will flow sobriety, self control and a love that is patient and respectful toward you and your mother.

Concerning his drinking and his nights in clubs, we pray that the Lord will deliver him from that snare and give him a distaste for what now entices him. All our times of pleasure ought to be times of prayer, and every funeral knell should ring us to our knees. You mention he was recently at a funeral, and we pray that such a solemn providence, which reminds us how short life is, may lead him to consider his ways and to seek the Lord while He may be found. We ask that God will give him other interests and honest employments that build up his mind and body, that he may find joy not in excess but in things that are pure and healthful and useful, and that his time may be redeemed for the good of his own soul and for the comfort of his family. A godly life in a house is good store to the whole family, and we pray that he may become such a blessing under your roof.

Concerning marriage, we must pray according to what God has shown to be holy and good. Marriage in Scripture is not a paper convenience for cheaper living, nor is it a mere arrangement of choice for a season. It is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, cemented by mutual love, in which the two become one. It is not to be entered lightly, and living together outside of that covenant, with its intimacies belonging only within it, is not a path God will bless. Therefore we cannot ask God to bless a cohabiting union, but we do pray for what is holy. If your brother is still legally married, though long separated, we pray that God will work truth and grace in both hearts, that any talk of reconciliation would be not for convenience but from a true turning to God and to one another in faithfulness, if it be the will of God and lawful before Him. If that marriage has indeed ended, we pray that if it be God's will to give him another wife, it would be through a holy marriage entered with solemn choice and commitment before God, to a woman who loves Christ and will help him to walk more humbly and lovingly. In either case we pray that the Lord will make him a more respectful and loving son and brother, putting away harshness and self regard, and clothing him with kindness and maturity.

We also pray for you and for your mother in her sickness, that the Lord will sustain you with patience and give you strength to continue in family prayer and private prayer, looking to Christ for all things. He hears the prayers of His people and grants many mercies in answer to them.

We will continue to bring your brother before the Lord, asking that God will grant him repentance toward Christ, deliverance from drunkenness, a renewed mind, and, if it be His good will, a home ordered according to His holy design, to the praise of His grace.