Requesting prayers for my ###yo who has been drinking heavily for the past year & has no will to live.

[Silas]

Your honest and painful request has been heard, and thank you for sharing so openly about the heavy burdens you are carrying and the deep concern you have for your daughter.

What you describe for both yourself and your daughter is a place of great brokenness, like a breach as wide as the sea. Scripture asks in that place, who can heal you, and the answer is that only the Lord can. When the prophet who wrote Lamentations sat in the ruins of Jerusalem, he began in that same low place. He spoke as a man who had seen affliction, who felt hopeless and without a way out. That hopelessness is at the heart of depression, the sense that there is nothing to be done and no future to hope for.

That same prophet shows there are two directions the mind can go. We can keep thinking on our pain, our failures, and our impossible circumstances until we think ourselves deeper into despair, even to the point of wanting to die. Or we can deliberately set our minds on the Lord and let Him renew our thinking. When he turned his thoughts to the character of God, to His mercies that are new every morning and His great faithfulness, his despair began to give way to hope. That does not mean the circumstances changed at once, but his inner life was lifted from hopelessness to hope because his mind was anchored in God.

You and your daughter both sound isolated and besieged, like a lonely shelter left in a field after the harvest, surrounded and alone. That isolation makes everything heavier. The exhaustion of caring for young children, an ailing loved one in your home, constant cleaning under strict inspections, physical pain in your hands and back, untreated health needs, and financial pressure would weary anyone. Added to that is the grief of past losses in your family and the fear that comes when your daughter speaks daily of not wanting to live.

For your daughter, alcohol has become a way to try to numb the pain of depression and anxiety, but Scripture warns with a woe to those who turn to drink to start and sustain the day. What feels like relief is in truth a trap that deepens sadness, steals health, takes away work, and leaves a person more open to despair while less able to cope. Her words that she stays alive for her child and because she knows taking her own life would be sin show that God has still placed a restraint and a love in her heart, but she needs more than willpower. She needs healing for her mind and heart that only God can give, and she needs help from people who can walk with her toward sobriety and health.

For you, the fact that you have remained clean for years is evidence of God's sustaining grace, and He can keep sustaining you now. Yet the cutting, the self hatred, and the thoughts of suicide are serious signs that you are overwhelmed beyond what you can carry alone. Your prolonged heart rhythm issue, high blood pressure, depression and anxiety, and constant pain need prompt medical attention. Being too busy to see a doctor puts your life at risk and limits your ability to care for your children. Please reach out right away to a medical provider, a trusted pastor or biblical counselor, and if you ever feel you may harm yourself, to a family member or emergency help in your area. You do not have to carry this alone, and God does not intend for you to do so.

God's design for our lives is to find salvation through Jesus Christ alone, and to live in a way that honors Him, including His design for marriage as a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, with sexual union and living together reserved for that covenant. Where our homes and relationships do not yet reflect that design, the loving call is to seek His forgiveness, His help, and His way forward in purity and commitment, trusting that His way is for our good.

Here are some steps to take as you continue to pray:

1. Keep bringing your daughter and yourself to Jesus daily. Pray that God would lift the hopelessness and replace it with hope in His mercy and faithfulness, that He would give your daughter a desire to live, a willingness to turn from alcohol, and a clear sense of being loved and cared for by Him. Pray also for your own strength and peace of mind, and for the renewing of your thoughts through Scripture, even in short passages each morning.

2. Seek help quickly for both of you. Encourage your daughter to ask for help for depression, anxiety, and alcohol use from a doctor and a counselor who honors biblical truth, and if possible from a mature believer who can mentor her. For yourself, make an appointment for your physical and mental health needs without delay, and share honestly about the cutting and suicidal thoughts so you can receive care and accountability.

3. Seek wise support for your household. You are trying to do everything alone, from cleaning and cooking to caring for children and for a loved one on dialysis. Ask a pastor or trusted older believer for counsel on setting clear, loving boundaries about responsibilities, finances, cleanliness, and the care of animals in the home, especially where health is at risk for children and for one who is seriously ill. Boundaries are not unkind, they are needed for stewardship of the home God has entrusted to you and for the health of everyone in it.

4. Stay connected. Isolation feeds despair. Even if anxiety makes it hard to be around people, staying under the care of a faithful local congregation where the Word is taught and where you can be known and supported will help guard your mind and give you practical help.

A prayer for you and your daughter:

Father in heaven, in the name of Jesus Christ we come to You for this mother and her daughter. You see the breach that feels as wide as the sea, the exhaustion, the pain, the depression, and the daily talk of not wanting to live. Have mercy. Show them Your lovingkindness that never fails and Your mercies that are new every morning. Lift the hopelessness and give a renewed mind that hopes in You. Deliver this daughter from dependence on alcohol, heal her heart and mind, give her peace instead of anxiety, and give her a will to live and to care for her child in Your strength. Protect her from self harm and draw her to salvation and hope in Jesus alone. Strengthen this mother in her body, mind, and spirit, provide medical care, rest, and help in the home, guard her from self harm and despair, and help her to keep walking in freedom from addiction. Give wisdom for every decision about the household, finances, and health, and surround this family with faithful help. Amen.

You are not forgotten. God is near to the brokenhearted, and He is able to bring hope where there now seems to be none. Please continue to reach out for personal pastoral care and medical help and let others walk this road with you.

 

[Wrioreth]

We have read your request and our hearts are heavy with you as we bring you and your family before the Lord together. We hear how exhausted and overwhelmed you are, carrying so much alone while caring for young children, adult daughters, a granddaughter, and your partner who is now on dialysis for end stage kidney failure, while you yourself are suffering with prolonged QT, arthritis, carpal tunnel in both hands, untreated high blood pressure, major depression and anxiety. We also hear your deep burden for your daughter who has been drinking heavily for the past year, who says she has no will to live, who feels life has no joy and she is just working to survive, who drinks to numb her depression and anxiety, who has become antisocial and isolated, who has a history of cutting and harming herself, and who lost her job because of drinking. We hear your own struggle as you have begun cutting again and feel suicidal yourself, and we want to come alongside you with prayer, truth and compassionate counsel.

We want to gently but clearly address some things that need attention before the Lord. First, we notice you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ in your request, and we want to remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to God and it is only by His name that we can be saved. Jesus said, John 14:6, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And Acts 4:12 tells us there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If you have not already, we encourage you to put your trust in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, confessing Him as Lord, and calling on Him for forgiveness and new life. It is through Him that we can bring every burden to God with confidence.

We also need to speak about what you and your daughter are facing with alcohol and self harm. The Word says Ephesians 5:18, Do not be drunken with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit. And Proverbs 20:1, Wine is a mocker, and beer is a brawler. Whoever is led astray by them is not wise. Drunkenness does not heal depression, it deepens it, it steals joy, health, work and peace, and it opens the door to more despair. We understand your daughter is trying to numb her pain, but the Lord wants to heal her pain, not numb it. Likewise, cutting and harming the body grieves God because our bodies are His temple. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God. You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's. Harming yourself and thinking of ending your life is not God's will for you. He sees your pain and wants to carry it.

We also hear you speak of your partner of many years. We believe in the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman as outlined in the Bible. Genesis 2:24 says a man will leave his father and his mother, and will cling to his wife, and they will be one flesh. And Hebrews 13:4 says marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled. If you and your partner are living together and raising children without being married, we encourage you before the Lord to pursue marriage that honors God, if you are both believers in Christ. Courtship and living together should be directed toward godly marriage, not simply partnership, and sex outside of marriage is fornication which God calls us to turn from. We say this in love because we want your home to be built on God's design which brings blessing and stability.

We are very concerned for your safety and your daughter's safety. When you both speak of not wanting to live, of cutting, of banging your head against the wall, and feeling disconnected and hopeless, these are signs of deep depression that need immediate care. Please do not walk through this alone. We urge you both to seek help right away from a trusted pastor, a biblical counselor, your doctor, and if you ever feel unsafe, to call for emergency help or a crisis helpline in your area such as 988 in the United States, or go to your nearest emergency department. God does not want you to neglect the health He has given you. Your high blood pressure, prolonged QT, arthritis and carpal tunnel need medical attention, and your depression and anxiety need care as well. It is not a lack of faith to see a doctor, it is stewardship of the life God gave you. Galatians 6:2 says Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ, and that includes allowing others, including professionals and the church, to help bear yours.

We also see how heavy the daily load is with housing inspections, constant cleaning, financial strain, caring for small children, and the added burden of cats spraying and litter throughout the house which is affecting everyone's health. It is right to set healthy boundaries. You were right to ask one adult daughter and her family to live elsewhere when they would not work or contribute, and it is right to require your daughter who lives with you to contribute modestly and to address the cat situation promptly for the health of the children and your partner on dialysis. Love does not mean allowing your home to become unsafe or enabling destructive behavior. It is loving to require sobriety, cleanliness, and responsibility in the home.

We want to encourage you that God sees you and your daughter in this darkness. Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 61:2 says When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Isaiah 41:10 says Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Matthew 11:28 says Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Jeremiah 29:11 says For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. 1 Peter 5:7 says casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you.

Your daughter says she does not kill herself because she fears hell and knows it is sin, but God wants her to want to live because she knows she is deeply loved and has purpose in Christ, not only because she fears punishment. Her life and your life have value because you are made in God's image, and her daughter needs her, and God has work for her still to do. Philippians 4:6-7 says In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.

We are praying together for you now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, lifting up this dear mother and her daughter and this entire household to Your throne of grace. Lord, You see every tear, every sleepless night, every pain in her hands and back, every worry over bills and housing inspections, every fear for her partner on dialysis, and every heavy thought of hopelessness. We ask You to have mercy and bring Your healing presence. Lord, we pray for this daughter who is drinking heavily and has lost the will to live. In Jesus name we ask You to break the power of alcohol over her mind and body, to deliver her from drunkenness and give her a desire for sobriety and clarity. Replace her numbness with Your peace, her despair with Your hope, her anxiety around people with Your calm. Heal her heart and mind, Lord, and help her to know she is loved and cared for by You and by her family. Give her joy again and a reason to live for You and for her little daughter. We pray she will willingly seek help, counseling and support, and turn to You fully.

We pray for this mother, Lord. Strengthen her when she is exhausted and losing hope. Forgive her for harming herself and lift the suicidal thoughts from her. Help her to love herself as Your creation and to care for her health, to see a doctor for her heart, blood pressure, arthritis and pain, and to find rest. Give her wisdom to set loving boundaries with her adult children, to steward her home well without being crushed by constant cleaning and financial burden, and to resolve the unhealthy situation with the cats in a way that protects the children and her partner. Provide for every practical need, rent, utilities, food, and rest. Comfort her partner in kidney failure and be near to him. Guard the young children in the home and surround this family with godly support from the church and community so she is not alone. Restore her hope as one who has been clean for many years from addiction, and keep her strong in that victory through Christ.

We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus, who is our only hope and salvation, trusting that You are able to do far more than we ask. We pray You will draw each heart in this home to repentance, faith, and daily walk with Jesus, and that You will give them peace that passes understanding and a renewed will to live for Your glory. Amen.

We encourage you to keep reaching out, to stay connected to a Bible believing church, to read the Word daily even in small portions, to pray aloud together in Jesus name, and to let others help you with cleaning, childcare and practical needs. You are not forgotten. We are continuing to pray for your daughter to put the bottle down, for your mind to have peace, for your home to have order and health, and for you both to find joy in life again through Christ.

I apologize. I’m not used to reaching out & asking for help. I always pray daily & before bed since I was a child my grandparents took me to church every weekend & I was in Sunday school for 7yrs. My grandfather would read at church on Sundays & he taught me how to pray from a toddler he would kneel next to the bed & I would recite the prayers after him to which I still pray to this day 47yrs later the same 3 prayers Hail Mary, Our Father,and the prayer the act of contrition.