Silas
Beloved of All
It is painful when you and your mother are going head to head, and I am praying for you and for your relationship with her.
God puts great weight on the family, and on honoring father and mother. That command is the first one given with a promise, that it may be well with you and that your days may be long. When honor breaks down in the home, the whole structure of life begins to break down, and we see the fruit of that all around us. Scripture also says children are to obey parents in the Lord, for this is right, and that little phrase in the Lord matters. It means obedience is within what is right before God. Parents are not to ask children to do what is ungodly, and parents are told not to provoke their children to anger. Honoring does not mean you must agree with everything or do what is wrong, it means you show respect, you do not curse or despise, and you seek to care and to speak with grace even in disagreement. In the older understanding that honoring included caring for parents and providing for them, not finding religious excuses to withhold honor.
Jesus Himself showed what this looks like. When told His mother and brothers were waiting to speak to Him, He asked who is His mother and who are His brothers, and then pointed to His disciples and to all who do the will of His Father in heaven. He was not dishonoring His mother, but He was showing that our first loyalty is to God and that true family is defined by doing the Father's will. He never taught that we should go through His mother to reach Him, He taught that we come directly to Him.
A head to head struggle often grows bitter if it is not dealt with in the heart. Forgiveness in the Bible is not a matter of counting how many times we have forgiven. It is a matter of the spirit and the heart. To say I forgive but I will not forget is not real forgiveness, it is keeping the handle of the hatchet above the ground. When God forgives, His forgiveness is complete. He asks us to follow His example and to forgive from the heart as we have been forgiven. That kind of forgiveness is not natural to us, but if we are willing, God will give us the capacity. We can honestly pray, Lord, take away this bitterness and give me a spirit of forgiveness, and He will help us.
It is also true that what parents do affects their children, and sometimes the consequences of a parent's choices fall heavily on the next generation. But God does not leave us trapped in that cycle. There is a way out in Christ, and His grace can straighten what has been tangled and heal what has been hurt.
I am praying that God will soften both your heart and your mother's heart, that He will help you to honor her while also walking faithfully before Him, and that He will give you a willing heart to forgive from deep inside and not keep a record of wrongs. I pray He will lead you to deny self, to take up your cross and follow Him, and that He will bring reconciliation where there has been conflict.
Father, I lift this dear one and this mother to You in the name of Jesus. You see this conflict and the pain it brings. Give a spirit of honor and respect, give wisdom to speak truth in love, remove bitterness and give a heart that forgives fully as You have forgiven us. Bring peace into this home, restore what has been strained, and let Your will be done in both lives. In Jesus name, Amen.
God puts great weight on the family, and on honoring father and mother. That command is the first one given with a promise, that it may be well with you and that your days may be long. When honor breaks down in the home, the whole structure of life begins to break down, and we see the fruit of that all around us. Scripture also says children are to obey parents in the Lord, for this is right, and that little phrase in the Lord matters. It means obedience is within what is right before God. Parents are not to ask children to do what is ungodly, and parents are told not to provoke their children to anger. Honoring does not mean you must agree with everything or do what is wrong, it means you show respect, you do not curse or despise, and you seek to care and to speak with grace even in disagreement. In the older understanding that honoring included caring for parents and providing for them, not finding religious excuses to withhold honor.
Jesus Himself showed what this looks like. When told His mother and brothers were waiting to speak to Him, He asked who is His mother and who are His brothers, and then pointed to His disciples and to all who do the will of His Father in heaven. He was not dishonoring His mother, but He was showing that our first loyalty is to God and that true family is defined by doing the Father's will. He never taught that we should go through His mother to reach Him, He taught that we come directly to Him.
A head to head struggle often grows bitter if it is not dealt with in the heart. Forgiveness in the Bible is not a matter of counting how many times we have forgiven. It is a matter of the spirit and the heart. To say I forgive but I will not forget is not real forgiveness, it is keeping the handle of the hatchet above the ground. When God forgives, His forgiveness is complete. He asks us to follow His example and to forgive from the heart as we have been forgiven. That kind of forgiveness is not natural to us, but if we are willing, God will give us the capacity. We can honestly pray, Lord, take away this bitterness and give me a spirit of forgiveness, and He will help us.
It is also true that what parents do affects their children, and sometimes the consequences of a parent's choices fall heavily on the next generation. But God does not leave us trapped in that cycle. There is a way out in Christ, and His grace can straighten what has been tangled and heal what has been hurt.
I am praying that God will soften both your heart and your mother's heart, that He will help you to honor her while also walking faithfully before Him, and that He will give you a willing heart to forgive from deep inside and not keep a record of wrongs. I pray He will lead you to deny self, to take up your cross and follow Him, and that He will bring reconciliation where there has been conflict.
Father, I lift this dear one and this mother to You in the name of Jesus. You see this conflict and the pain it brings. Give a spirit of honor and respect, give wisdom to speak truth in love, remove bitterness and give a heart that forgives fully as You have forgiven us. Bring peace into this home, restore what has been strained, and let Your will be done in both lives. In Jesus name, Amen.
