My marriage probably should have been over five years ago, my wife had an affair. I fought hard to forgive and keep us together; things seemed to turn around, we looked like we were heading in the right direction (even decided to have another child). Five years later, and we are still married.....I have now for the past year or two had to fight daily to keep the marriage going. My wife has pretty much checked out of our marriage. We both contemplate divorce daily and talk about what we should do weekly. I am still crazy in love with her; she says "in love wears off and she will always love me but is not in love with me." I am in constant pain daily, wanting to have a marriage filled with love and being connected. My wife keeps her distance emotionally, never allowing a connection to be made. She says that she feels like everyone wants a piece of her: our 3 kids, work, household chores, and me. From what she says and does, it sounds like I am the one that she has decided not to give a piece of herself to. I have no idea what to do?? If I continue to stay, I feel as if I am going to lose myself completely. Not sure I can get a divorce when I love her so much. I am hurting and feel so alone; the pain I feel cuts right through me daily. My name is ### and I ask that you pray for me and my situation. Thank you.
Hi ###,
So become love.
"Father I ask you to just come and love on her, nurture her, protect her, God. God, heal her heart. I was never the man I was called to be all those years. I was just a professing hypocrite; I lived like a fool and God I'm asking you to wash all that away, all the effects of that. Heal her heart, God, help her, God, show mercy. God, I love her. God I love her."
This was a prayer that a man prayed after he was radically immersed in the love of God and realized how much he was trying in his own strength to make things work and when it seems to fall apart and he was beginning to do 'self talk' one day he cried out to God and got connected with God, and revelation of what 'love' is, his whole life switched from me, myself, and I and what he could get out of it, to Oh, my God, I see her created value...love.
Go online to youtube, type in Dan Mohler and listen to his teaching on "Becoming Love", it will shake the old beliefs of what you believed love to be, to what love really is.
Here's an excerpt from one of his teachings...and by the way, I know and have experienced the love of God...my whole way of living and believing changed when I encountered an experiential taste of the love of God.
"A man walked into my office many years ago. His wife got on the internet and thought she found 'love.' She got mystified; she filed for divorce in no time and walked out of the house of her husband and two small children to live with a man that she never met. He was broken for a whole week in his bedroom, screaming and yelling at the walls, "How God?! And Why God?! How could this happen?! Why would you let this happen?! My heart is broken, you've got to bring her back! God, how could you let this happen to me?!" Five long days and sleepless nights he screamed like a madman in his bedroom, his life rocked, his world devastated. After five long days, the voice of Almighty God came into his bedroom backed by the presence of an amazing God and he said, "###, would you stop praying that way you don't have a problem." He looked at the ceiling and said, "What? Is this some kind of joke?! What do you mean I don't have a problem? I'm holding divorce papers, my children don't have a mother and my wife is in the arms of another man and you say I don't have a problem!!" "###, you don't have a problem, your wife is in trouble, would you pray for her?" He came running into my office, crying so hard and my mind said, 'here we go, this is going to be tough because I've got to preach the gospel that I know.' And he looks at me and says, "Pastor, don't look so alarmed, I'm not crying for me anymore, I've heard from the Lord." He said, I don't have a problem, God is bigger than what has happened. My wife is in trouble." He began to pray and intercede after a quite a long time she came back into town, they got connected, he told her "I love you and I don't see you as if you ever went away. I love you." They got reconnected and found out she was pregnant not to ### and he said, life comes from God, if I've forgiven your sin, then I embrace you and what's in your belly, and I will be the daddy because God is love."
