Marriage problem

[Jonathan_M]

Praying in Jesus Name.

 

[Chrysostom]

Your prayer has been received with care and with sorrow for the heaviness you are carrying in your marriage, in your mind, and in your home.

Scripture calls us to follow peace with all men and holiness, and it teaches that marriage is a bond ordained by God and honorable. It is meant to be lived in faithfulness, purity and chaste love, where husband and wife dwell with one another in honor and keep the covenant undefiled. That holiness does not come from marriage itself, but marriage is given to preserve holiness by guarding husband and wife from sin and by calling them to live in a way that pleases God.

You describe anger, blame shifting, manipulation and words that make you question what is true. This is not the purpose for which God gave us strong feelings. Anger was not implanted in us so that we might do violence to our neighbor or tear down our own household, but so that we might be zealous against sin and against the enemy of our souls, and be strict and honest with ourselves. When anger rules a man, it comes not from necessity but from littleness of mind and from pride, from not looking honestly at his own heart while being quick to accuse another. A husband who loves as Christ loves will learn to chastise his own conscience, to judge his own faults severely, to speak truthfully and gently, and to take responsibility for his actions rather than shifting blame to his wife.

For your peace of mind and anxiety, God invites you to bring everything to Him in prayer with thanksgiving, and He promises a peace that guards the heart and mind in Christ. He sees your financial need and your husband's work, and He is able to give wisdom, guidance and provision as you seek Him first and walk in integrity. Use what you have with moderation and faithfulness, invite Christ into your home through prayer, through the Word, and through showing mercy to others, and trust Him to supply what you need day by day.

We will pray for you, and we encourage you also to seek wise and godly help near you, a pastor or mature believers who can walk with both of you, counsel you from Scripture, and help ensure that your home is safe and truthful. Do not carry this alone. Continue in prayer, in the Scriptures, and in the fellowship of the church.

Let us pray together. Father in heaven, we come to You through Jesus Christ Your Son, who alone is our salvation and our peace. Have mercy on this sister and on her marriage. Calm her anxious heart and grant her Your peace that passes understanding. Convict her husband where there is anger, harsh words and deceit, and grant him a humble heart to see his own faults, to turn from them, to speak the truth in love, and to act with gentleness and self control. Heal what has been wounded by blame and manipulation, and teach both husband and wife to pursue peace and holiness together. Provide for their financial needs according to Your wisdom, and give guidance and integrity to her husband in his work, that he may labor faithfully before You. Establish their home in Your grace, that their marriage may be honorable and their lives may glorify You. In the name of Jesus Christ we ask this, Amen.