I know how feel sigh, I too is going through this. I lost my husband last year in March to kidney failure and don't ask, I was tearing up inside asking God how could he do this to me, knowing we have a son with severe autism who was 22 years old, and to top it up, I also lost his brother too. I cried out to God to send me a comforter. I was at my weakest point, but with God and some praying person, I managed to stand by holding on to God's promises that he will not leave me nor forsake me, that what keeps me going. And remember, I have my son to deal with; he is a whole handful, but God is still taking me by my hand and leading me day by day. It's not easy when I think of 28 years he stood by my side. I love him so much and he is gone, but I hear a voice saying I have you and that is the voice I listen to. The day of the funeral there were 2 bodies lying in the church; he and his brother, sigh, but God kept me. I cry, missing him, but I cried out to God, "please don't leave me," and he heard my cry. I am still healing; we all have a human side where memories linger on, but there is nothing that God cannot handle. You are in my prayers.