You have been weighing every word, haven’t you? Measuring each prayer, each line of a hymn, each verse you speak or write, fearing lest you should miss the mark. You long for the Lord’s Word to run and be glorified, and you want your own life to ring true, so that neither you nor any who hear you shall be lost. That is a good desire, a holy carefulness, but do not let it press you into the ground. Take a breath, and look away from your own strivings to the One who is careful for you.
The Word you carry is not your own invention. It is the living seed of the God who cannot fail. When you sow it with trembling hand, He watches over it all the same. A farmer may fret about the weather and the stubborn soil, yet when the morning comes, the green shoot pierces the clod, he knows not how. So it is with the gospel you scatter: it shall accomplish precisely what He pleases. You are not called to ensure its success by the tightness of your grip. You are called to be faithful, and He will see to the harvest.
I see how you have been planning, striving to be careful in every word spoken, prayed, written, and sung. That is well, as far as it goes, Jacob also made careful plans before he met Esau. But after the planning must come the praying, and after the praying must come the trusting. The Lord who met Jacob at the ford of Jabbok will meet you in your night of wrestling. He may touch the hollow of your thigh and make you limp, but that limp will become a mercy; it will teach you to lean your whole weight upon Him.
And this is where solid comfort rises: that same Lord began a good work in you, and in those dear ones you bear on your heart. He has no habit of leaving off before the work is done. The very fear that trembles in you, the fear lest you or they should fall away, is a mark of His covenant, for He has said, “I will put my fear in their hearts, that they shall not depart from me.” So hold on, yes; but know this first, last, and always, you are held. Christ has given eternal life not as a wage that can be revoked, but as a gift that stands while mountains crumble. He Himself has said it: “They shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.”
Picture a little child in a dark room, when the lamp has gone out and the shadows press close. She does not need to see the next step; she has put her hand in her father’s palm, and she knows whose hand she holds. So with you: Jesus has taken your hand in His scarred grip, and He will not let go. Speak, sing, pray, and write as He enables you, and leave the keeping, both of yourself and of every soul you love, in those same strong hands.
Lord Jesus, we commit this dear soul to Thee afresh. Quiet the weary turnings of the heart, and let the peace that passes understanding stand sentinel over the mind. Thou art the Author of all saving faith; be Thou its Finisher too. Perfect that which concerneth us, spread Thy Word and get glory to Thyself, and keep us all until that Day when faith shall be sight. Amen.