Sweetangel
Account Closed
Lord, I'm so tired. I'm sorry I'm miserable. I tried everything to not be miserable at this job, and it's just not the job for me. I'm tired of being so patient with it. I'm tired of having a stressful job. I can't even take my meds right. This morning I got off and slept all day and woke up, I thought it was the next day. I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. I pray and I pray and I know you are working. I thank you for ### and everything that you and he has given and will give me, but I can't take much more of this. I can't remember what day it is. I do everything backwards. I lose my train of thought in two seconds. I can barely do two things at one time. I have lost myself and I need myself back. And so many people say, "oh you can do it, oh you're making yourself miserable, oh it's not so bad." WELL THEY ARE NOT ME AND THEY DO NOT HAVE AS MUCH PATIENCE AS I HAVE AND THEY DO NOT HAVE MY HEART. I can't take the families crying and suffering over loved ones and fights and people cussing and screaming and sick. I just can't do it anymore. Of course, I know I can, but I don't want to, and I don't feel I should have to anymore. I have asked for your forgiveness in everything I have done wrong, and I know Lord, you have forgiven me. I have learned the lessons you were and still are teaching me, and I have followed your word to the T. I don't know what more to do but to GET DOWN ON MY KNEES ONE MORE TIME AND SAY: LORD I LOVE YOU I PRAISE YOU I LIVE THROUGH YOU I WANT MY FAMILY BACK I WANT MY LIFE BACK AND I AM NOT MAKING MYSELF MISERABLE "WHO WANTS TO BE MISERABLE." I struggle, as you know, with depression and anxiety, and it's a HARD daily fight, but I made it. I am dealing and coping with it, and I have risen far from where I was. I am an angel, and you showed me the way to receive my wings, but Lord, please save me from this. I just want my happiness back within myself, and these women I work with are cruel and unkind, and I am tired of putting my life on hold for a place that only cares about image. I know you will answer my prayer. I believe you are working on it now. Lord, I just want this new chapter to start. Please, if not when my vacation is over, please at the start of the new year. Please keep ### safe, and I only wish right now we were together so he could hold me, and all this would be like a nasty dream that I wouldn't even be dealing with. He always makes my world stop and feel and think of nothing but love and happiness. I understand and accept that I can't have that right now and that you are working on him very well, and for you to send me that message, and on a cross through him, he didn't have to say a word; it was the most amazing epiphany you have given me, Lord, and I thank you so much for that. I pray for all this in your name, The Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit, Lord Jesus Christ, God almighty. Amen.
