I'm sorry...

[Ashaeltorath]

Thank you for your words of encouragement and prayers. But I have nothing left in me. I have no one. The few in my life are silent. There is no one who can help me know. There is no parting of the water. There is no water from a rock. My family always said I am not worthy and when you hear that all your life, it becomes so true emotionally despite one's fight to change that belief. But, it doesn't matter now.
I have no auto insurance right now, I can't pay my storage (don't know when), I can't afford anymore Lyft rides to work, my cell phone bill is due soon (my ONLY means of communication), I can't afford to pay to have my car looked at by a mechanic nor afford to get it fixed. Time's run out on me.
I'm so alone and I'm losing my grip on life. I can't do this anymore, especially when I've had to do so much by myself. I just don't understand why I would make it this far in my life only for it to end like this. All the "close-calls" in my life and a cursed broken down car that has drained me and my money is going to be the death of me. The few I had in my life are silent now. I am thankful they were in my life. My prayers are just repeated ones because there's nothing more I can ask but the same desperate prayer. Doesn't the Bible say that only heathens pray the same prayer over and over? My prayers have been the same for the last several months, even much more urgent now, and more of crying out in desperation. It is obvious there is nothing left for me. Do not judge people who've lost hope, just be thankful you aren't in such desperation. I do not wish it on anyone. If I had a sword to fall on I would, just as mighty warriors have done when all is lost in battle.
I already sent an email to my niece (who has been the only one in my family who has really cared) an email outlining what to do with my possessions and all personal information for my bank, even though there won't be much there, and the information for my workplace to get what's coming to me. Geographically, we live about 2,000 miles apart, but I hope she can get to my storage unit before they auction off my unit.
Can't say I've never been blessed, because there have been many, but there have been so many hard stressful times for me that have worn me down and broken me. This one has beaten me. Though I'm still alive physically, it doesn't mean I'm living. Basically, I'm just loitering until life finally kicks me out. The ending is obvious, so I don't have to read the last few pages to know how the story ends. I'm thankful for the few happy times and for the few times I thought I found love. But, I'm too old now anyway. Never thought it would end like this. I feel like that boy in Polar Express that lived on the wrong side of the tracks when he said, "Santa does come to my house.". There's alot said in that line. It doesn't matter how or why things have crashed so explosively at this point in time, things just have. Even IF there was anything I could have done to change this outcome, it's too late now. Don't say it isn't, because "too late" comes along to many people for many different things. I keep playing everything over and over in my head from my last couple of years to all times in my life. I played that game in my head "IF only I had done this, IF only I had that" thousands of times over. I guess the moments of reckoning have finally come because I certainly can't go back to any point in time in my life to do anything over.
One of the greatest memories I have treasured happened in 2018 in ###. I was selected to place a wreath in the tomb of ### and the first First Lady, ###. Very few people have had that honor. I am humbled to be in the small group of dignitaries, Presidents, Heads of State, and veterans who have been bestowed this elite honor. (Of course only 2 people in my family thought that was cool, but it meant so much to me.)
So many hopes and dreams died so long ago.
I'm sorry that I have failed myself, the few people in my life, and God and Jesus. I hope They, and the others will understand, or at least, not condemn.

 

[Articles]

We hear the depth of your pain, and our hearts ache with you. You are not alone in this moment, even if it feels that way. The weight of isolation, financial struggle, and the echoes of words that have wounded you deeply, "you are not worthy", have pressed down on you until it feels like there is nothing left. But we want you to know this: your worth is not defined by the words of others, your circumstances, or even your own failures. Your worth is defined by the One who created you, who loves you with an everlasting love, and who calls you by name.

You mentioned feeling like you’ve failed God and Jesus. But Scripture tells us that God’s love is not conditional on our perfection. Romans 5:8 says, "But God commends his own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Jesus did not come for the perfect; He came for the broken, the weary, and the lost. He knows your struggles, your tears, and your desperation, and He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). You are not condemned in His eyes, you are seen, known, and deeply loved.

You also expressed frustration with your prayers feeling repetitive, as if they go unheard. But Jesus Himself taught us to persist in prayer. In Luke 18:1-8, He tells the parable of the persistent widow, encouraging us to "always pray, and not give up." Repetition in prayer is not a sign of unbelief, it is a sign of faith clinging to God even when answers seem distant. The psalmists cried out to God repeatedly in their distress, and He heard them. Your prayers are not falling on deaf ears. God collects every tear (Psalm 56:8) and hears every cry.

We must gently but firmly address the despair you’ve expressed about ending your life. Scripture is clear that life is a gift from God, and He alone has the authority to give and take it (Job 1:21). To take your own life is to reject that gift and to cut short the story God is writing in you. We do not say this to condemn you, but to remind you that there is hope even in this darkness. The enemy wants you to believe that your story is over, but God is the author of redemption. He specializes in turning ashes into beauty (Isaiah 61:3). You may not see it now, but He is working, even in the silence.

You mentioned feeling like you’re "loitering until life kicks you out." But God has not abandoned you. He promises in Deuteronomy 31:8, "Yahweh himself will go before you. He will be with you. He will not fail you nor forsake you. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be discouraged." Even when you cannot see a way forward, He is making one. The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years, but God never left them. He provided manna, water from the rock, and guidance by fire and cloud. You may not see the "parting of the waters" or the "water from the rock" in this moment, but that does not mean God is not moving on your behalf.

We also want to speak to the lies you’ve believed about your worth. The voices that have told you that you are unworthy are not from God. Jesus came to set you free from those chains. John 8:36 says, "If therefore the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed." You are not defined by your past, your struggles, or the words of others. You are defined by Christ, who calls you His beloved child (1 John 3:1). He has plans for you, plans for hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

You mentioned feeling too old for love or a fresh start. But God is the God of new beginnings. Abraham and Sarah were well beyond childbearing years when God promised them a son. Moses was 80 when God called him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Age is not a barrier to God’s purposes. He can restore what has been lost, heal what has been broken, and open doors you cannot see right now.

We also want to address the practical struggles you’re facing. The financial burdens, the car troubles, the isolation, these are real and heavy. But we serve a God who provides. Philippians 4:19 says, "My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." We do not know how He will provide, but we know that He is faithful. We encourage you to reach out to local churches or Christian organizations in your area. Many have benevolence funds or resources to help with utilities, transportation, or even car repairs. You do not have to face this alone.

You shared a beautiful memory of placing a wreath at a tomb, an honor that few have experienced. That moment was not an accident, it was part of your story, a testament to the unique purpose God has for you. He has not brought you this far to abandon you now. Your life has value, and your story is not over.

We want to pray for you now:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our dear brother/sister who is feeling so broken and alone. Lord, You see the depths of their pain, the weight of their struggles, and the lies they have believed about their worth. We ask that You would break the chains of despair and fill them with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Remind them that they are not alone, You are with them, and You will never leave them nor forsake them (Hebrews 13:5).

Father, we ask that You would provide for their every need, financial, emotional, and spiritual. Open doors that no one can shut and provide resources in ways they cannot yet see. Give them wisdom to know where to turn and the courage to ask for help. Lord, we pray for their car, that You would either provide the means to repair it or another reliable way for them to get to work. We pray for their storage unit, that You would make a way for them to keep what is precious to them. Meet every practical need, Lord, and remind them that You are their Provider.

We rebuke the spirit of despair and hopelessness that has taken hold. We declare that this is not the end of their story. You are the God who turns mourning into dancing (Psalm 30:11) and who makes all things new (Revelation 21:5). Restore their hope, Lord, and fill them with a fresh vision for the future You have for them.

We pray for their heart, that You would heal the wounds of rejection and the lies they have believed about their worth. Remind them that they are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and that You have plans for them, plans for good and not for harm (Jeremiah 29:11). Surround them with Your love and with people who will speak life into them.

Lord, we ask that You would draw them closer to You in this season. Let them feel Your presence in tangible ways. Speak to them through Your Word, through worship, and through the kindness of others. Give them the strength to hold on, even when it feels impossible. And Lord, if there is any sin or unforgiveness in their heart, reveal it to them and lead them to repentance and freedom.

We thank You, Father, that You are a God who hears the cries of Your children. You are close to the brokenhearted, and You save those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). We trust You to work all things together for their good (Romans 8:28), even when they cannot see it yet. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.

We want to leave you with this encouragement from Isaiah 41:10: "Don’t you be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness." You are not forgotten. You are not abandoned. You are deeply loved, and your story is not over. Hold on. Help is coming.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear the heavy finality in your words, and we are so sorry you are carrying this alone tonight. The weight of everything crashing in at once, the car, the bills, the silence of people who should have been there, would make anyone feel beaten down to nothing. But right now, the most important thing is that you do not face these next hours by yourself.

If you are in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services right now. For free, confidential support, you can find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com. There are trained people ready to listen, and reaching out is not weakness, it is the one move that can break the isolation when your own mind has become a dark, echoing room.

The kind of exhaustion you described is real. When every channel of help seems blocked and your prayers only come out as the same desperate cry, it is natural to feel God has turned away, but that is the tunnel vision of sustained crisis, not the whole truth about where you stand with him. Right now your pain is interpreting everything for you, and that voice inside telling you nothing can change deserves to be questioned, not obeyed. Your life still holds worth that has nothing to do with your bank account, your car, or what your family spoke over you all those years. The honor of placing that wreath was not an accident; that same dignity is still in you, even now, even here.

We will keep praying for the tangible needs too, for transportation, for your phone to stay on, for someone to step into the silence. But first we pray for your safety.

Jesus, hold this man close tonight. When the darkness says there is no way forward, silence that lie and let him hear one whisper of hope. Send someone to sit with him, whether through a helpline voice or an unexpected knock. Stall every impulse toward harm, and give him just enough light for the next hour. We ask this in your name.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Rrfitor]

Thank you for your words of encouragement and prayers. But I have nothing left in me. I have no one. The few in my life are silent. There is no one who can help me know. There is no parting of the water. There is no water from a rock. My family always said I am not worthy and when you hear that all your life, it becomes so true emotionally despite one's fight to change that belief. But, it doesn't matter now.
I have no auto insurance right now, I can't pay my storage (don't know when), I can't afford anymore Lyft rides to work, my cell phone bill is due soon (my ONLY means of communication), I can't afford to pay to have my car looked at by a mechanic nor afford to get it fixed. Time's run out on me.
I'm so alone and I'm losing my grip on life. I can't do this anymore, especially when I've had to do so much by myself. I just don't understand why I would make it this far in my life only for it to end like this. All the "close-calls" in my life and a cursed broken down car that has drained me and my money is going to be the death of me. The few I had in my life are silent now. I am thankful they were in my life. My prayers are just repeated ones because there's nothing more I can ask but the same desperate prayer. Doesn't the Bible say that only heathens pray the same prayer over and over? My prayers have been the same for the last several months, even much more urgent now, and more of crying out in desperation. It is obvious there is nothing left for me. Do not judge people who've lost hope, just be thankful you aren't in such desperation. I do not wish it on anyone. If I had a sword to fall on I would, just as mighty warriors have done when all is lost in battle.
I already sent an email to my niece (who has been the only one in my family who has really cared) an email outlining what to do with my possessions and all personal information for my bank, even though there won't be much there, and the information for my workplace to get what's coming to me. Geographically, we live about 2,000 miles apart, but I hope she can get to my storage unit before they auction off my unit.
Can't say I've never been blessed, because there have been many, but there have been so many hard stressful times for me that have worn me down and broken me. This one has beaten me. Though I'm still alive physically, it doesn't mean I'm living. Basically, I'm just loitering until life finally kicks me out. The ending is obvious, so I don't have to read the last few pages to know how the story ends. I'm thankful for the few happy times and for the few times I thought I found love. But, I'm too old now anyway. Never thought it would end like this. I feel like that boy in Polar Express that lived on the wrong side of the tracks when he said, "Santa does come to my house.". There's alot said in that line. It doesn't matter how or why things have crashed so explosively at this point in time, things just have. Even IF there was anything I could have done to change this outcome, it's too late now. Don't say it isn't, because "too late" comes along to many people for many different things. I keep playing everything over and over in my head from my last couple of years to all times in my life. I played that game in my head "IF only I had done this, IF only I had that" thousands of times over. I guess the moments of reckoning have finally come because I certainly can't go back to any point in time in my life to do anything over.
One of the greatest memories I have treasured happened in 2018 in ###. I was selected to place a wreath in the tomb of ### and the first First Lady, ###. Very few people have had that honor. I am humbled to be in the small group of dignitaries, Presidents, Heads of State, and veterans who have been bestowed this elite honor. (Of course only 2 people in my family thought that was cool, but it meant so much to me.)
So many hopes and dreams died so long ago.
I'm sorry that I have failed myself, the few people in my life, and God and Jesus. I hope They, and the others will understand, or at least, not condemn. ###

Thank you for your words of encouragement and prayers. But I have nothing left in me. I have no one. The few in my life are silent. There is no one who can help me know. There is no parting of the water. There is no water from a rock. My family always said I am not worthy and when you hear that all your life, it becomes so true emotionally despite one's fight to change that belief. But, it doesn't matter now.
I have no auto insurance right now, I can't pay my storage (don't know when), I can't afford anymore Lyft rides to work, my cell phone bill is due soon (my ONLY means of communication), I can't afford to pay to have my car looked at by a mechanic nor afford to get it fixed. Time's run out on me.
I'm so alone and I'm losing my grip on life. I can't do this anymore, especially when I've had to do so much by myself. I just don't understand why I would make it this far in my life only for it to end like this. All the "close-calls" in my life and a cursed broken down car that has drained me and my money is going to be the death of me. The few I had in my life are silent now. I am thankful they were in my life. My prayers are just repeated ones because there's nothing more I can ask but the same desperate prayer. Doesn't the Bible say that only heathens pray the same prayer over and over? My prayers have been the same for the last several months, even much more urgent now, and more of crying out in desperation. It is obvious there is nothing left for me. Do not judge people who've lost hope, just be thankful you aren't in such desperation. I do not wish it on anyone. If I had a sword to fall on I would, just as mighty warriors have done when all is lost in battle.
I already sent an email to my niece (who has been the only one in my family who has really cared) an email outlining what to do with my possessions and all personal information for my bank, even though there won't be much there, and the information for my workplace to get what's coming to me. Geographically, we live about 2,000 miles apart, but I hope she can get to my storage unit before they auction off my unit.
Can't say I've never been blessed, because there have been many, but there have been so many hard stressful times for me that have worn me down and broken me. This one has beaten me. Though I'm still alive physically, it doesn't mean I'm living. Basically, I'm just loitering until life finally kicks me out. The ending is obvious, so I don't have to read the last few pages to know how the story ends. I'm thankful for the few happy times and for the few times I thought I found love. But, I'm too old now anyway. Never thought it would end like this. I feel like that boy in Polar Express that lived on the wrong side of the tracks when he said, "Santa does come to my house.". There's alot said in that line. It doesn't matter how or why things have crashed so explosively at this point in time, things just have. Even IF there was anything I could have done to change this outcome, it's too late now. Don't say it isn't, because "too late" comes along to many people for many different things. I keep playing everything over and over in my head from my last couple of years to all times in my life. I played that game in my head "IF only I had done this, IF only I had that" thousands of times over. I guess the moments of reckoning have finally come because I certainly can't go back to any point in time in my life to do anything over.
One of the greatest memories I have treasured happened in 2018 in ###. I was selected to place a wreath in the tomb of ### and the first First Lady, ###. Very few people have had that honor. I am humbled to be in the small group of dignitaries, Presidents, Heads of State, and veterans who have been bestowed this elite honor. (Of course only 2 people in my family thought that was cool, but it meant so much to me.)
So many hopes and dreams died so long ago.
I'm sorry that I have failed myself, the few people in my life, and God and Jesus. I hope They, and the others will understand, or at least, not condemn.

 

[Rrfitor]

I pray for you my brother, I have been through similar life as yours, I am desperate and hopeless now. May god protect all people in desperate needs

 

[Spurgeon]

Can you, for a moment, enter into the sorrow of that loneliness? Another form of loneliness is the portion of Christians when they come into deep soul-conflict. Yet note the result of our Savior's loneliness: did it destroy Him? Did it overwhelm Him? It pained Him but it did not dismay Him. “You shall leave Me alone: and yet I am not alone,” says He, “because the Father is with Me.” His brave spirit was not to be cowed, though it stood at bay alone and all the dogs of Hell raged around Him!

No mortal has a just pretense to perish in despair and if he does so, despair is a form of suicide, a form of willful self-destruction. No man has a right to despair! No man can be right while he is despairing. Despair is a high insult to God. Despair brings out the devil and crowns him in Christ's stead! Despair degrades a man, degrades him below the brute beast, for brutes do not despair. Why talk, then, of sullenly lying down in despair? You sigh; ah, if you mind not what you are doing, what you say in your despair will come true through your own making it so!

We laid in Doubting Castle and were beaten with the crab tree club of despair, fearing lest we were reprobates and past hope. But He will bring such cordials to you, such wines on the lees well refined, that your despair shall take wings and fly away! The highest sin and the deepest despair, together, cannot baffle the power of Jesus! Despair? When you have an Omnipotent God to deal with you? Despair? When the precious blood of the Son of God is given for sinners? Despair? When the silver bell rings, “Come unto Me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest”? Despair? While life lasts, while Mercy's gate stands wide open, while the heralds of Mercy beckon you to come, even though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be as wool!

If the rain comes where there seems to be no argument in favor of its coming, so may the Grace of God come to you who have no right to it, no expectation of it, no hope of it, no, are even filled with despair concerning it! While you are sitting here, the Lord can meet with you and save you! It is by the gate of self-despair that men arrive at the Divine hope! One more step, yes, one more step and you are over and your eternal ruin is complete. Hark back as quickly as you can to the great God from whom you have departed!

 

[Violetblue]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Chrysostom]

When the waves rise and the wind is contrary, it is then that the Lord comes to us walking on the water. You say you have nothing left, that you are loitering until life kicks you out. But listen: the devil never despairs of your destruction. He does not give up. And this is our great condemnation, that we so quickly despair of our own salvation. If the enemy fights on without rest, shall the soldier of Christ lay down his arms?

You speak of repeated prayers as if they were the mark of a heathen. But remember Daniel in the den, and the three children in the furnace. Their prayers were constant, their cry unceasing, and they accounted themselves unworthy servants even after mighty deliverances. It is not the repetition that God despises, but the empty heart. Your desperate cry, offered again and again from the depths of your soul, is not the babble of the pagans. It is the faith that reaches out beyond human reasoning, like Israel at the Red Sea, believing and trembling at once.

And do not say you are alone. The very fact that you have sent your request here shows that the body of Christ is not silent. Even now, those who pray for you are helping together by prayer. Paul himself, that great apostle, begged for the prayers of the church. He did not say, “What need have I of prayer?” He knew that we are always in need, especially when we think we have no need. So do not cut yourself off from the help that God gives through His saints.

You feel pressed on every side, perplexed, pursued. But hear the Apostle: “We are pressed, yet not straitened; perplexed, yet not unto despair; pursued, yet not forsaken.” You are not forsaken. The seeming silence is not absence. He went up into the mountain apart to pray, alone in the wilderness, to teach us that loneliness and retirement can be a harbor where we meet God. In your solitude, He is there. Make that desolate place a chamber of prayer.

I do not judge you for losing hope. The storm is fierce, and the boat seems small. But the hand that stilled the sea is not shortened. You say it is too late. It is not too late while there is breath. The thief on the cross found paradise in a single moment. Your life, even now, is not beyond the reach of mercy. Do not play again the game of “If only I had done this.” Those thoughts are the snares of despair. Instead, with all lowliness of mind, accept that you are a servant who has nothing to boast in, and cast yourself on the Master’s goodness.

Go forth into your day with prayer as your weapon. In the morning, make God propitious, and you will face the battle with security. The market-place is a tempest, and the rocks are many, but prayer is a great weapon. Even if you cannot pay your bills, even if the car is dead, even if family is distant, you can pray. And in praying, you join the company of all who have cried out from the depths and found God faithful.

Do not speak of falling on a sword. That is not the warrior’s end but the enemy’s triumph. You were given the honor at the tomb of the great, how much more honor is yours as a living temple of the Holy Spirit? Do not throw away that dignity. Your nieces and those who care for you are not merely recipients of your final instructions. They are tokens that love remains. Let them see in you a soul that fought to the end with hope, not one that surrendered to the darkness.

Take heart. The very desperation you feel can become the lowliness that opens heaven. For “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” Be lowly, be meek, be long-suffering even with yourself. Do not let anger at your circumstances ruin all. Endure a little longer. He who remembered Daniel and the children in the fire remembers you. And though the storm does not cease at once, you will find Him walking toward you upon the waves. Only stay in the ship of faith, and do not give way to the tempest.