Justin Philip Pomaika'i Laybon Nagasawa
Humble Servant of All
I'm 27 and am writing the holy Bible. I have typed the full holy Bible; it's faster than writing. I have a fear of my parents or grandma or others dying. I don't mind if I die, though, because of reading prayers saying that death leads to eternal life. I had read the casualty lists from the Korean and Vietnam wars, and some of the fatalities from Iraq and Iran. I had thoughts about joining the army. I don't qualify for the army because it says I have to be off prescription medicine for 12 to 36 months. I am prescribed fluoxetine and risperidone. I had given away my money after reading the book of common prayer prayers and thanksgivings, and it had oaths to poverty. I am financially stuck, but my parents are providing for me. I feel kinda lonely sometimes, and am dreading the death of family members. I had wondered if I should learn the Hawaiian language because I am in Hawaii. I had thoughts that maybe in heaven they speak Hawaiian in Hawaii. I had other thoughts about learning Japanese. I know I should strengthen my English language skills. I had somewhat suicidal thoughts that if I learned Hawaiian or learned to drive, then I would be closer to heaven and thus God might kill my body and rapture me. I have a lot of anxiety sometimes, and writing the Bible seems to calm me. I am not working. I have an anxiety about being forced to work. I have an anxiety that points me towards the holy Bible. I think I should finish writing the holy Bible in English before pursuing other focuses such as work, or grammar/mathematics studies. God Jesus, please help me. I was hoping to be able to write 12 chapters per day and/or walk 12 miles a day. The exercise helps me to focus, but I haven't been able to get into the daily habit of exercise. God, please help me to sleep 8 hours, and then maximize my time awake during the next 16 hours. I would like to improve during this free time in providence. I had hopes that my body would be prepared for military service if it's called, I had thoughts about joining the military as an occupation because of the holy Bible. I hope God prepares me. I have been trying to quit watching porn and wasting time. I'm kind of afraid that I'll die a virgin at 27. I don't really have dating experience, and am not confident in myself as a husband because I don't have a driver's license. I had hopes to vigorously study or vigorously exercise. Jesus, please give me curiosity that helps me to study the good things that would help me. I had some thoughts about going to Japan, but I doubt I'll ever travel America or Japan because I am very introverted. Almighty God Jesus Christ, please help me. Thanks, Jesus, for peace, providence, and progress in Jesus' name, Amen.
