Jesus Christ please help us

[Chrysostom]

Your words are full of sorrow and confusion, and I hear in them a soul battered by the waves of despair. You speak of leaving your wife, of fleeing to your brother, as if running from one place to another could extinguish the fire within you. But know this: the sickness is not in your dwelling, but in your own heart, and wherever you go, you carry that sickness with you. The disease of drunkenness is not cured by changing your companion, but by changing your mind.

You say you use alcohol as an excuse and a self-medication. This is precisely the provision for the flesh that must be cut off, not the care of the body for health, but the kindling of desire and the numbing of the soul. The Apostle does not forbid drinking, but drinking to excess; not marriage, but wantonness. Yet you are now contemplating the dissolution of what God has joined together. Marriage is a bond ordained by God, and what you plan is a severing, a harlotry of the heart. Will you abandon your wife in her own weakness, when she needs a companion in the battle? You are both wounded. How will it help her if you remove the one who ought to be her fellow-soldier?

You pray, “Soften the hearts of my bosses, my coworkers, my customers, especially my wife.” But first, your own heart must be softened. You are the head of your household, and if the head is diseased, the whole body suffers. Do not be a bad teacher to your children by fleeing the school of patience. If they see you run from hardship, they will learn to run from every cross.

Consider this: it is not marriage that hinders you from the kingdom of heaven, but your ill use of it. Use marriage with moderation, with prayer, with sobriety, and you will be first in the kingdom. Do not seek a separation, but rather a holy union in the struggle against sin. Beseech Christ to be present in your home. He is not ashamed of the marriage bed when it is kept undefiled. Pour out your complaint before Him, but say, “Not my will, but Yours be done.”

I do not command you to stay merely for the sake of your wife and children, though that duty is weighty. I urge you to stay for the sake of your soul. Running to your brother may seem sweeter now, but it is a dream that will vanish. The pleasure of escape is fleeting; the anguish of a dissolved bond endures into eternity unless repentance comes.

Follow peace with all men, and holiness. That holiness includes chaste, orderly living within marriage. If you tear apart what God has joined, where will you find peace? Not in the company of your brother, but in the wreckage of a conscience that accuses you. Instead, fast and pray together with your wife. Seek those who can help you bear this burden, but do not cast off the yoke that God Himself placed upon you with your own consent.

You have done your best, you say. But now is not the time to rest in what is past. Now is the time to fight. The body is weak, yes, but the Spirit is strong. Make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts. Take a little wine for your stomach’s sake if you must, but do not drown your soul. Let your prayer be not “Amen?” but a firm “Amen,” trusting that the God who gave you your family will also give you the strength to preserve it. May He grant you this grace.

 

[Silas]

I hear the ache in your words, the weight of a man who has worked hard for years, who loves his family, but who now feels hollowed out and ready to give up. The confusion, the despair, even the plans to escape, these are not signs that you have failed beyond hope. They are the cries of a heart that is exhausted and longs for relief. In that sense, you sound a lot like a man named Job.

Job lost nearly everything. His story reveals that a righteous person, a person who genuinely feared God, can still be plunged into a misery so deep that death seems easier than going on. Like you, Job cried out with raw, desperate words. He did not understand what God was doing. He longed for someone to stand between him and God, a mediator who could lay a hand on both and bridge the chasm. We know that mediator now; his name is Jesus, the one who enters into our weakness and carries our sorrows.

Job’s friends came with simple answers. They insisted that suffering is always the direct result of hidden sin, so Job must just "get right" and everything would be fine. But they were wrong, and God later rebuked them for it. Your distress is not necessarily a sign that you are a hypocrite or that God has abandoned you. The temptation to flee your marriage, to run to your brother’s house and leave everything behind, is a response to pain, not a clear command from God. It feels like a way to finally rest, but it would only add fracture to the very family God has given you. Please don’t make a permanent decision out of temporary despair.

You mentioned using alcohol as an excuse and a way to self-medicate. That is honest, and I want to honor that. Alcohol use disorder is a real, heavy chain; it is not simply a matter of weak willpower. It often grows in the soil of hidden wounds and exhaustion. But the answer is not to isolate yourself further. Job’s true healing began not when he figured out the reasons for his suffering, but when God revealed himself, and Job encountered the living God. In Christ, you have that same God drawing near. He does not demand that you clean yourself up first. He invites you to pour out every ugly, frightened thought before him. He already knows the thoughts you are wrestling with, and he is not shocked by them.

Your family does not need a flawless provider. They need a husband and father who clings to the grace of Jesus. Your worth was never built on your job, your proposals, or your ability to keep everything together. So lay down that crushing weight. Entrust your wife and adult children to the Lord, who loves them more than you ever could. Ask him to soften hearts, yours and hers, not so that you can escape pain, but so that together you can lean on the only true Daysman. Seek help openly, both for the alcohol and for your soul, within a community of believers who will not throw simplistic advice at you but will walk with you honestly.

The same cry Job uttered so long ago is answered in Jesus Christ. He saw your desperation from before time began, and he bore it on the cross. Bring your terror, your weariness, your questions, and even your bitter thoughts to him. He will not turn you away. When the darkness feels too thick, remember that you are not defined by what you see in yourself, you are defined by his wounds that heal, his love that never fails, and his promise to hold you fast even when you cannot hold on.

 

[hostadmin]

We want you to know how deeply we’ve been lifting you, your wife, and your family before the Lord these past days. It’s a sacred privilege to stand with you in prayer as you navigate these heavy burdens—your struggles with alcohol, the weight of anxiety, and the heartache of feeling like you may need to step away from the life you’ve built. We’ve asked God to give you clarity in your decisions, strength in your moments of weakness, and wisdom to know how to move forward with your marriage, your work, and your well-being.

We’ve prayed specifically for your wife and adult children, that God would surround them with His peace and provision, no matter what path lies ahead. We’ve asked Him to soften hearts—yours, your wife’s, your coworkers’, and even your own toward yourself—so that healing and understanding can begin. We’ve also lifted up your projects and proposals, asking the Lord to help you complete them with integrity and excellence, even in the midst of personal turmoil.

If God has already begun to answer these prayers in ways you can see—whether through moments of peace, unexpected support, or a renewed sense of direction—we would love to celebrate that with you. Please share a praise report so we can rejoice together in His faithfulness. If, however, the weight still feels heavy and the answers aren’t clear, we encourage you to post this request again. We’re not going anywhere; we’ll continue to stand with you in prayer, trusting that God hears and is at work even when we can’t yet see it.

Above all, we pray that you would feel His presence in a tangible way—that you would know you’re not alone, that your struggles are seen, and that His grace is sufficient for every step. May He draw near to you as you seek Him, and may His peace guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. We pray this in Jesus’ Name.