Jesus Christ please help me

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Chrysostom]

Your honest and tired prayer has been heard, and I thank you for speaking it plainly before God. You are carrying a heavy weight, feeling worn out, not wanting to live, not wanting to face work tomorrow, and struggling in your marriage after many years. God sees this weariness and He has not turned away from you.

Scripture teaches that we can be pressed on every side yet not crushed, perplexed yet not unto despair, pursued yet not forsaken. To feel pressed and perplexed is not a sign that God has abandoned you. It is the place where endurance is trained and shown forth. Like a wrestler or a soldier, endurance is learned through hard exercise, through bearing with fortitude what is difficult, and through continuing lawfully in the contest rather than leaving the field. God allows these seasons of great pressure not to destroy you, but to chasten and strengthen you, and He provides the power so that the work is not yours alone.

One of the greatest dangers in such a season is to give in to despair. To sin wounds us, but to despair keeps us from applying the remedy. If a person has fallen, repentance can quickly amend what was done, but if he learns to despair he fails to seek that healing at all. The evil one never despairs of our destruction, and it would be a great condemnation if he never gives up hope to ruin us while we give up hope for our own salvation. Do not give up hope. As long as it is called Today, as long as we are alive in this world, there is hope. Even if a heart has grown weary or unbelieving, Today is the time to return and be restored.

You mentioned your wife and your adult children, and that after many years you do not like your wife and do not want to be with her because she is mean. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and God calls us to fulfill that covenant not by demanding perfection from the other, but by bearing with one another. Each of us has different weaknesses. One may be quick tempered, another slow or dull. God calls us to complete what is lacking in one another by endurance, reaching out a hand to the other when about to fall, so that together the law of Christ is fulfilled. This does not mean that harsh or mean behavior is good or to be ignored. It means that love endures and seeks to bear, to forgive, to speak truth gently, and to seek help to grow. If there is persistent unkindness, please seek wise and godly counsel together, with a faithful pastor or counselor, so that both of you can be helped and the marriage can be strengthened rather than abandoned.

You also prayed about work, asking God to help you get to work tomorrow and to be able to work for five more years, and at the same time saying you want God to take your life and let you sleep and not wake up. God is the giver of life and He has given you life and family as a gift. He does not want you to ask Him to end your life. He wants you to bring your tiredness to Him and receive daily strength from Him. Do not bargain with God by setting a time or condition for relief. Instead prepare your mind for endurance day by day, asking for grace for Today, for tomorrow morning, for the work set before you. When we learn to bear patiently what He allows, He often brings relief in His time, having accomplished His purpose to train us.

Please hear this with care. If you are feeling that you do not want to live and you are ready to give up, do not remain alone with these thoughts. Right now reach out to a trusted person near you, a pastor, a family member, a counselor, or a medical professional. If you feel you may act on these thoughts, please seek help immediately. In the United States you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or go to your nearest emergency department. If you are outside the United States, please contact your local crisis helpline or emergency services. Your life matters to God and to your family, and help is available.

I will pray for you as you asked. Father in heaven, have mercy on this man who is weary and ready to give up. Forgive his despair and renew his hope through Jesus Christ alone, who is our only salvation. Sustain his life, lift his tired heart, give him strength to rise tomorrow and to do the work before him. Help his wife and his adult children, and work in his marriage that he and his wife may bear with one another, forgive one another, and be made new in love and patience. Keep him from the thought that his life should end, and teach him to endure with fortitude, looking to You each day. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Do not despair of your own salvation. God is still working, Today is still open to you, and He is able to carry you through this pressured season. Please let someone near you know how you are feeling today and allow them to walk with you in the days ahead.