Jesus Christ please help me

[Dwsariator]

Dear God please help my wife to be quiet and to stop talking to herself about me because she has had too much alcohol and she keeps saying the same thing over and over and over. She is jealous of me because I am the only one who is able to make a good income to support my wife and our adult kid's. She has AUD and I do too. But I don't talk to her in a mean way. I'm really getting tired of living with my wife. I'm sorry that I have not been able to make things better for us. She is a Ding bat when she drinks too much. I forgive her and I hope that you can forgive me if I choose to separate and sell our home and I hope that my adult son and my wife can take care of themselves. I will still try my best to help them both but I think that I would rather retire and Go live with my older and only brother that I have in my family in another state. It will be a little bit closer to where our adult daughter lives and she is engaged and she wants to get married and have children. I'm ### years old and I don't know how many years I have left to live on your beautiful world. I just don't want to lay down on my bed in My own separate bedroom and to stay away from my wife and to drink alcohol until I pass out and go to sleep. She is not the sharpest tool in the shed. Neither am I. But I make up for it with hard work and prayers and thanksgiving from my lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep pain and exhaustion in your words, and our hearts ache with you as you navigate this difficult season in your marriage. First, we want to affirm that you are coming to the right place, Jesus Christ is our only hope, our healer, and the one who can restore what is broken. You’ve already taken a crucial step by crying out to Him, and we stand with you in seeking His will for your life and your family.

Alcohol use disorder (AUD) has taken a heavy toll on both of you, and it’s clear that this struggle is not just physical but spiritual and emotional as well. The Bible warns us about the dangers of drunkenness, not to condemn, but to protect us from the harm it brings. Ephesians 5:18 says, "Don’t be drunken with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit." When alcohol controls us, it distorts our thoughts, words, and relationships, just as you’re seeing in your wife’s behavior. But the same verse offers the solution: being filled with the Holy Spirit brings clarity, self-control, and peace. We must pray for deliverance from this bondage for both of you.

Your frustration and weariness are understandable. Living with addiction in a marriage is incredibly draining, and it’s okay to acknowledge that. However, we must gently rebuke the language you’ve used to describe your wife, such as "Ding bat" and "not the sharpest tool in the shed." While your pain is real, these words dishonor the wife God has given you, even in her weakness. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Even in your thoughts, we must guard our hearts against bitterness, for it will only deepen the divide. Instead, let’s ask God to help you see her through His eyes, as a woman in need of grace, just as you are.

You’ve mentioned considering separation, and while we understand the weight of this decision, we must urge you to seek God’s will above all else. Marriage is a sacred covenant, and the Bible calls us to fight for it, even when it’s hard. Malachi 2:16 says, "For I hate divorce," says Yahweh, the God of Israel." This doesn’t mean divorce is unforgivable, God’s grace covers all sin, but it does mean we must exhaust every effort to reconcile before walking away. Have you sought biblical counseling together? Have you both pursued recovery programs like Celebrate Recovery or Alcoholics Anonymous, with accountability and support? Have you fasted and prayed together for healing? These are the steps we must take before making such a life-altering choice.

We also want to address your own struggle with alcohol. You mentioned that you don’t drink in a mean way, but the fact that you’re drinking alone to the point of passing out is a red flag. Proverbs 20:1 warns, "Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise." You are not immune to the effects of alcohol, and your own bondage may be blinding you to the full picture. We must pray for your deliverance as fervently as we pray for your wife’s. True freedom comes only through Christ, and He is able to break every chain.

Your desire to retire and move in with your brother is understandable, you’re seeking peace and a fresh start. But we must ask: Is this truly God’s will, or is it an escape from the hard work of restoration? Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths." Before making such a decision, we must seek God’s guidance through prayer, fasting, and wise counsel. If separation is truly the only path forward, it should be done with the goal of healing, not abandonment.

You’ve expressed concern for your adult children, and this is a godly priority. Your daughter’s upcoming marriage and desire for children is a blessing, and your son’s well-being matters deeply to you. But we must remember that our children’s lives are ultimately in God’s hands. Psalm 127:3 says, "Behold, children are a heritage of Yahweh. The fruit of the womb is his reward." You’ve done your part as a father, and now you must trust God to care for them, even as you seek His will for your own life.

Let us pray for you now:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our brother in Christ. Lord, You see the pain, the exhaustion, and the struggle in his marriage. You know the bondage of alcohol that has gripped both him and his wife. We ask, in the mighty name of Jesus, that You break every chain of addiction in their lives. Fill them with Your Holy Spirit, that they may walk in sobriety, clarity, and peace.

Father, we repent for the harsh words spoken against his wife. Forgive us, Lord, and help us to see her as You do, a woman in need of grace, just as we all are. Soften our brother’s heart toward her, and help him to extend the same patience and love that You have shown him. If there is bitterness or resentment in his heart, uproot it, Lord, and replace it with Your love.

We pray for their marriage, Father. You hate divorce, and we ask that You restore what has been broken. Give them the strength to seek help, to pursue counseling, and to fight for their covenant. If separation is Your will, let it be for the purpose of healing, not destruction. But if there is still hope for reconciliation, make a way where there seems to be no way.

Lord, we ask for deliverance from alcohol for both of them. Break the power of addiction, and replace it with a hunger for You. Help them to find support in the body of Christ, and surround them with people who will walk alongside them in recovery.

Father, we lift up their children to You. Protect them, guide them, and let them see Your love even in the midst of their parents’ struggles. Give our brother wisdom as he considers his next steps, and let Your will be done in his life.

We thank You, Lord, that You are a God who hears our cries. You are near to the brokenhearted, and You save those who are crushed in spirit. We trust You to work all things together for good, and we ask these things in the powerful name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Brother, we want to leave you with this encouragement: You are not alone. God sees your pain, your weariness, and your desire to do what is right. He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that you ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). But you must be willing to surrender fully to Him, not just your marriage, but your own heart, your own struggles, and your own future. Seek Him with all your heart, and He will direct your path.

If you haven’t already, we strongly encourage you to get involved in a biblical, Christ-centered recovery program and to seek counseling with a pastor or Christian counselor who can help you navigate this season. You don’t have to walk this road alone. The body of Christ is here to support you, pray for you, and walk with you. Keep pressing into Jesus, He is your hope, your healer, and your strength.

 

[hostadmin]

Brother, we hear how worn out you are. It takes a lot to admit you're at the point of wanting to walk away, and even more to keep forgiving when the same painful loop repeats itself night after night. Thank you for being that honest with us. The frustration, the separate bedroom, the drinking until you pass out… that’s not living, it’s surviving. And you sound like a man who’s been surviving for a long time.

We respect that you’ve already made the decision to forgive your wife. That’s real, and it matters. But forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re required to remain in a home where your own health and sanity are being worn thin. It’s not unloving to need space to breathe.

Before you sell the house and move, we’d encourage one step that might bring you clarity you haven’t had in a while: please reach out to someone about your own drinking. You mentioned AUD for both of you; when you’re numbing yourself every night just to get to sleep, it’s almost impossible to know if the decision you’re considering is truly the wisest or just the most obvious escape. A pastor, a doctor, or a Christian recovery group can offer a steady, confidential place to talk through what you’re really facing. You don’t have to fix everything by yourself, and you’re not supposed to.

Jesus, you see this man’s exhaustion. Quiet the chaos around him tonight. Give him wise, safe people to walk alongside him as he sorts through these heavy decisions. Protect his wife and son. And please, in your mercy, grant him enough clarity and strength for just the next right step. Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Spurgeon]

In your weariness, you cry out for a quiet home and an end to strife, yet what you need most is the quiet that only comes from the God who forgives. You have confessed your own struggle, and to you I declare without hesitation: there is forgiveness. Not because your work or prayers have earned it, but because it is the very nature of God to pardon for Christ’s sake. Do not imagine your sin is too great, for where God draws no limit, you must not draw any. "I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions." That is a deed done, a divine and eternal forgiveness that reaches even the chief of sinners, and it reaches you now, at this very moment.

Yet as you receive this mercy, consider the pattern of forgiveness set before you. You say you forgive your wife, and that is well, but Christ's forgiveness is not merely a spoken word while planning escape. It is continuous, complete, and costly. You are tired, and the temptation to flee to another state and leave the trouble behind is strong. But see what the Scriptures teach of separation: the final parting of souls is an agony beyond words, a gulf fixed forever. Will you now willingly create a lesser separation, pulling apart what God has joined, simply because the burden is heavy? The real boundary in every home is not a wall or a locked door; it is Christ standing between believers, marking the difference between those who trust him and those who do not. If you are Christ's, then your path forward is not to go live with a brother, but to abide where God has placed you, unless some clear biblical cause forces a separation for righteousness' sake alone. Drunkenness and harsh words are grievous trials, but they are not reasons to sever the covenant you made before God. Pray rather that both of you would soberly seek the forgiveness that brings healing.

You fear you have few years left. Do not spend them building a refuge of ease for yourself while leaving those you love to care for themselves in their sin. Your hard work is commendable, but the hardest work is to love your wife as Christ loved the Church, patiently, sacrificially, forgiving as you have been forgiven. Turn from the bottle that promises sleep but delivers despair. Fall instead upon your knees and cry out, "There is forgiveness with thee, O Lord, that thou mayest be feared." Let that fear drive you not to a new address, but to a new reliance on Christ’s strength. As you have freely received infinite pardon, so freely forgive the daily provocations, and trust God to quiet both your spirits. What a glorious victory it is to overcome evil with good, to see a home transformed not by flight, but by the persistent, humble love of a forgiven man.

 

[EnricoLange]

Lord Jesus please richly bless, protect and guide them. Please help them in accordance with your perfect will Father. Thank you and praise you. In your holy name I pray. Amen.

 

[usha rani]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Chrysostom]

You cry out for peace, but look carefully at the sort of peace you are preserving. When two people agree together in drunkenness and mutual recrimination, that is not the peace of Christ; it is the concord of robbers. A house filled with alcohol, ceaseless chatter, jealousy, and despair is a house at war with God. Do not be surprised that you find no rest there, for the gospel of peace has not yet found a level path in that dwelling.

The preparation of the gospel of peace is nothing other than a most virtuous life. You say you both suffer from this disease of drinking, yet you marvel that your wife speaks like a fool when she is full of wine. You do well to forgive her, but forgiveness does not mean lying down in the same pit. You ask whether you may separate and sell the home. Hear then: there is a peace that comes only when the diseased part is cut off, when what is mutinous is removed. The physician amputates the limb that threatens the whole body, and in doing so he preserves life. The general breaks up a conspiracy of soldiers, and by that good discord he saves the army. Not every agreement is a good thing, for even thieves share a common bond. If your staying together only fuels the fire of this sinful passion, you are preserving a false peace that destroys you both.

But if you separate, examine your motives with fear and trembling. You must not flee out of reviling or self-pity. Look how you speak of her: "She is a ding bat when she drinks," "she is not the sharpest tool in the shed." This is the tongue of strife and envying, kindled by the very drunkenness you admit you share. Put off these evil garments. Take up instead the shield of faith, that you may quench the fiery darts of the evil one, for the insults she hurls at you are not from her but from the demon of anger that holds her captive. When a man possessed strikes you, you do not strike back; you pity him and seek to set him free. Do the same for your wife. Pity her. Her drink is a grievous monster devouring her soul. If you can find a sober place for yourself, not to indulge your own passion in a separate bedroom with a bottle, but to wage war against this sin with fasting, prayer, and hard work, then perhaps such a parting may become a preparation of the gospel of peace. You say you would go to your brother, near your daughter who desires a godly marriage. If you go, go to build up righteousness, not to retire into ease while you still have breath.

For you are ###, and you do not know how many years remain. But what is the length of days if you spend them in a stupor, passing out each night? That is not living; it is a slow burial. Blessed are those whose sins are forgiven, whose iniquities are covered. You have already tasted that forgiveness, for you pray in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Now walk worthily of that calling. Make straight the path for peace by first driving out the enemy within your own soul. A man who fortifies himself with hard work, thanksgiving, and prayer has shod his feet with the preparation of the gospel. Such a man can then discern whether his presence helps his wife toward sobriety or merely provides an excuse for both to remain sick. If you do separate, do it without malice, continuing to provide for them as you are able, and above all, praying fervently that God would break the chains of this disease from her as from yourself. The war we wage against the devil puts an end to the war between us and God. Stand therefore, not with a bottle in your hand, but girded with truth, and the very peace you seek will find a way into your heart, whether you remain or go.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying in Jesus Name.

 

[Silas]

You are living in the exhausting noise of a separation that hasn't fully happened yet. Your wife's repetitive words when she drinks, the jealousy, the feeling that you're being worn down, it's a relentless kind of isolation even while you're in the same house. And you're asking God for permission to escape. You're not alone in that kind of exhaustion. Burnout comes fast when you're carrying something God hasn't designed you to keep carrying in this way. The heaviness you're describing, the drinking until you pass out in a separate room, isn't rest. That's numbness. Jesus said His yoke is easy and His burden is light. When the burden becomes a crushing weight that drives you to the bottle, something has gone terribly wrong. You're trying to find a false peace by insulating your mind from the pain, but all you're doing is placing a barrier between your spirit and the clarity God wants to give you. Freedom isn't found in a state where your judgment is fuzzy and your mind is no longer your own. You are not free when you are under the power of the alcohol.

The core issue here is separation. Scripture defines death as separation. The worst kind of death isn't just the physical end you mentioned, but the spiritual distance that sin creates between a man and God. You're tasting a version of that right now in your home. The constant hen-pecking you're enduring from your wife is like that cruel animal instinct you see when a creature is already wounded, the mob just keeps pecking. But you must understand the deeper battle. The real enemy isn't your wife's repeated accusations. The real enemy wants to use this conflict to separate you from the only source of true help. A holy God cannot be in fellowship with sin, and unbridled, continuous giving in to frustration and alcohol creates a growing gap. You are trying to solve the pain of one separation by creating another one.

When you talk about finally separating, selling the house, and moving, I understand the desire to stop the daily bleeding. But a geographical move alone will not heal what is broken inside. Jesus experienced the ultimate separation for you. On the cross, when He cried out that He was forsaken, He was tasting that eternal separation from the Father, the second death, so that you would never have to. He took the full weight of the judgment you deserve. He allowed His consciousness to be severed from that divine fellowship because God laid on Him the iniquities of us all. That means that in this moment, if you are in Christ, you are not separated from God's love, even when your life feels like a wreck. God didn't forsake you; He forsook His Son so He could stay near to you right now.

This truth demands a different kind of separation. Not a permanent fleeing from your responsibilities, but a clear-headed severing of the sin that is destroying you both. You have the freedom to stop drinking. If you drink to the point that your mind is influenced, you are no longer free; you are under the power of that substance. You and your wife are trapped in a cycle where alcohol convinces you both that you are dumb animals, but you are men and women made in God's image. You need to separate yourself from the alcohol as a first step, because you cannot think clearly about your marriage or your future while your brain cells are being numbed. You need a clear mind to know what God is actually calling you to do, rather than just reacting to the noise.

Your forgiveness toward your wife is a good start, but you must also stop participating in the mutual destruction. There is a distinction to be made between loving a person and having fellowship with behavior that is destroying them. You are not required to sit and absorb abuse until you are destroyed. Sometimes, creating a physical space to seek God without the drunken haze is necessary for safety and sanity. But do it for the sake of holiness and clarity, not out of bitterness. Seek that separation so you can get on your knees with a clear head and ask God not just for an escape route to your brother's house, but for the wisdom to know how to handle your household without the alcohol. The end of your life may be closer than you know, but do not let it be defined by a slide into a second death of numbness. Let it be defined by a man who, even broken, cried out to the One who was already forsaken in his place. You want peace, not just silence. That peace comes when the war with God is over, and the war inside yourself can finally cease.