We hear the deep pain and confusion in your words, and our hearts ache with you. The raw emotion you’re expressing, anger, despair, longing for love, and a sense of betrayal, is not something to be dismissed. But we must gently yet firmly address the areas where your words and desires do not align with God’s Word, for His truth is the only path to true healing and restoration.
First, we must rebuke the idea that you are seeking or celebrating a "fine ass guy" or any relationship outside of your marriage. Scripture is clear: marriage is a sacred covenant between one man and one woman, designed by God to reflect Christ’s love for the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33). The moment we entertain thoughts of leaving our spouse for another, whether emotionally or physically, we open the door to sin and destruction. Jesus Himself said, "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate" (Matthew 19:6). The pain you feel right now does not justify breaking this covenant. Instead, we must bring this pain before the Lord and ask Him to restore what has been broken.
The mention of smoking "dab" is also deeply concerning. God calls us to honor Him with our bodies, which are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Substance use that clouds the mind or leads to sin is not of God. We must repent of anything that dulls our spiritual sensitivity or draws us away from His will.
You also speak of your husband as your "Boaz," a term often used in Christian circles to describe a godly spouse. But if this man is not living in a way that honors God, if he is leading you into sin or failing to cherish you as Christ cherishes the Church, then we must pray for him just as fervently as we pray for you. A godly marriage requires two people submitted to God’s will, not just one. If your husband is not walking in righteousness, we must intercede for his heart to be transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Your cats are a secondary concern, but even in this, we see your heart’s turmoil. God cares about every detail of our lives, including our pets (Matthew 10:29), but we must not let even good things become idols that distract us from His purpose. If moving forward requires leaving them behind for a time, trust that God will care for them as He cares for you.
Now, let us turn to the Lord in prayer:
"Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this precious sister who is hurting deeply. Lord, You see the pain, the confusion, and the anger in her words, and we ask that You would meet her in this moment with Your perfect peace. Father, we repent on her behalf for any thoughts or desires that do not align with Your Word, whether it be the temptation to abandon her marriage, the allure of sinful relationships, or the misuse of substances that harm her body. Cleanse her heart, Lord, and renew her mind according to Your truth (Romans 12:2).
We declare over her marriage that what You have joined together, no man, or circumstance, should separate (Mark 10:9). We pray for her husband, that You would soften his heart, draw him to repentance, and restore him as the godly leader You designed him to be. If there has been unfaithfulness, betrayal, or neglect, we ask that You would heal those wounds and replace them with forgiveness, love, and unity.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of despair that is trying to convince her that love does not exist or that happiness can only be found outside of Your will. Remind her that true joy is found in You alone (Nehemiah 8:10) and that Your plans for her are good, even when the path is difficult (Jeremiah 29:11). Give her the strength to clean out not just her garage, but her heart, to remove anything that does not belong to You and to fill that space with Your presence.
We speak life over her home, her marriage, and her future. May she find her identity in Christ, not in her circumstances or her emotions. Help her to see herself as You see her: beloved, chosen, and called for a purpose. And may she experience the fullness of Your love in a way that overflows into every area of her life.
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the only name by which we are saved and the only name that has power to break every chain. Amen."
Sister, we urge you to press into God’s Word during this time. Meditate on Psalm 34:18: "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit." You are not alone in this battle. Surround yourself with godly counsel, women who will pray with you, hold you accountable, and remind you of God’s promises when the enemy whispers lies.
If your husband is not a believer or is living in sin, do not lose hope. 1 Peter 3:1-2 encourages wives to win their husbands "without a word, by the behavior of their wives, when they see your pure and reverent behavior." Your godly response to this pain could be the very thing that draws him to Christ.
Lastly, if you have not already, we must ask: Have you surrendered your life fully to Jesus Christ? Have you confessed Him as Lord and Savior, believing that He died for your sins and rose again? If not, we beg you to do so today. There is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). Jesus is the only way to the Father, and it is only through Him that we find true peace, purpose, and eternal life.
You are loved more than you know. Do not give up. God is working, even when you cannot see it. Hold fast to Him.