Is it wrong to want and should I just survivor

[Chrysostom]

Your honesty before the Lord is precious and your prayer has been heard. You have carried many heavy things at once, losing your apartment and your job, living again with your parents, looking for steady work, trying to train in voice acting, feeling pushed aside and anxious about the future and even about small things like a haircut. It is not wrong to bring all of this to Jesus just as you did, for Scripture tells us to cast all our anxiety upon Him because He cares for you.

You ask if you are being greedy or selfish for wanting to have a stable home again, or to visit that apartment for a time, or to use what little money you have for something that brings you joy like puppet work. Wanting a safe place to live, meaningful work, and a sense of direction is not greed. Greed is an endless desire for more for its own sake, never satisfied and never thankful. What you describe is a natural and good desire for stability, provision, and purpose, and God understands that desire.

At the same time, loss can become either a wound that harms us further or a place where God teaches us trust. One of the Scriptures reminds us of Job who said, the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord. He did not mean that loss is not painful, but that even when what we value is taken, we can still choose thanksgiving and trust, and in that way what felt like only loss can become gain for the soul. Your apartment, your job, your plans for the zoo or for voice acting, these are real losses, and it is right to grieve them, but they do not have to define you.

The anxiety you feel, that sense that you must only survive and that every worry is tossing you like a wave, is also something God sees. Human life without Christ is often like that, up and down, lifted for a moment by a hope and then sunk again by fear, never at rest. Christ offers a different kind of steadiness, not because circumstances immediately change, but because He holds the future that you are so worried about. You do not need to know every step of where you will go in life right now. You can seek Him today, be faithful in the small work before you, and trust Him to guide the next step.

While you are living with your parents, honor them as much as you are able, even in small matters like appearance and household rules. This season may feel limiting, but it can be a time of training. The same diligence you would give to caring for animals at the zoo or to developing a skill in voice acting is part of forming your character. If puppet work is a gift you have, it is not wrong in itself, but ask how to use it wisely and for good, and how to balance it with the need to provide for yourself and to respect your parents' counsel. If the zoo has only offered seasonal work and not full time work, it is wise to keep seeking other steady work as you are doing, while not despising the small opportunities God does provide.

Do not measure your worth by outward things like how your hair looks or whether you have the ideal home right now. Outward beauty fades quickly and is easily changed by a haircut or by hardship, but the beauty God is forming in you through patience, humility, gratitude and trust is lasting and not destroyed by anxiety or age.

You are not selfish for asking God to help you. You are a person in need asking your Father for help, and He invites you to do that. Keep praying, keep giving thanks even for small mercies, keep doing the next faithful thing in work and training, and keep trusting that God will provide what you need for life and godliness through Jesus Christ.

May the Lord give you peace that steadies your heart, provision for your daily needs, wisdom for work and for the use of your gifts, and comfort in your home. May He lift the weight of constant survival and give you rest in Christ, who alone is our hope and salvation. In Jesus name, Amen.

 

[Silas]

Thank you for sharing so honestly about what you have been carrying. Losing your apartment and your job, having to move back in with your parents, looking for full time work without success, feeling restricted and disappointed, and now feeling like you are just trying to survive is a heavy burden. It makes sense that you feel anxious and even excruciating pain, and it is good that you want to cast your anxiety upon the Lord, because Scripture invites you to do exactly that. He cares for you and calls you to cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

Wanting a safe and stable place to live is not in itself greedy or selfish. Desiring to have a home where you are not overwhelmed by heat, where you can rest and use what God has given you for good, is a natural and human desire. Greed and selfishness are matters of the heart, when we demand our own way above God, when we envy others, or when we put our wants ahead of love for God and neighbor. It is wise to ask the Lord to search your heart, but simply missing a place where you felt at peace and wondering if you could visit or return for a time does not automatically mean you are selfish. God sees the difference between a passing wish for comfort and a settled demand that puts self first.

Part of what you describe sounds like guilt weighing on you, asking yourself if you are bad for wanting anything at all. Guilt is a heavy thing. It can create a cycle where we feel inferior or frustrated, try to escape, then feel guilty, then feel we need to be punished to feel free again, only to return to frustration. Many people live in that cycle. What no effort or technique can do, Jesus Christ has done. On the cross He took your sin and your guilt and paid the penalty for it. Justice is getting what we deserve, mercy is not getting what we deserve, and through Jesus God offers mercy and forgiveness. When you confess your sin honestly to God, He cleanses and removes that haunting sense of guilt. If you are feeling condemned for simply having desires or for struggles at work, bring that to Him plainly and receive His forgiveness and peace. You do not need to punish yourself to earn relief. Christ has already borne the punishment so you can walk free from condemnation.

You also asked where your life is going and what to do about work, training, and even small disappointments like a haircut. Only God knows what the future holds and what good He can bring from hard chapters. Rather than contending with Him or trying to figure everything out at once, Scripture calls you to submit yourself to the One who knows all things and whose purposes will stand. He has spoken about the future He has for His people, and what He has purposed He will do. You can trust His Word as a firm foundation for your future.

That does not mean the present will not feel dark. Sometimes the story has dark chapters, and you are in one now. God never ends His story on a dark note. Even when things feel dismal and you cannot see the way forward, He points His people toward a bright and glorious future with Him. That future hope does not remove today's needs, but it sustains you in them and keeps you from gambling against His faithfulness. He has been faithful, and you can lean on His Word and place your life and your future upon it.

In practical terms, keep bringing your worries to Him daily in prayer, with thanksgiving, and ask for His peace to guard your heart. While you live with your parents, honor them as you are able, even when you disagree about hair, puppets, or work. If voice acting and creative work with puppets are gifts you want to use for good, ask God for wisdom about stewardship, how to use your time, training, and money in a way that honors Him and provides for your needs. The disappointment with seasonal work at the zoo is real, and it is right to ask God whether to keep pursuing that door or to seek other open doors He may be providing. Be diligent to work as you can, to learn, and to be faithful in small things, trusting God with the results.

You are not forgotten. The Lord sees your anxiety, your desire for stability, and your wish to use what you have for good. Bring your requests to Him, confess any sin that weighs on your conscience and receive His cleansing, and ask Him to guide your steps one day at a time. May He lift the weight of false guilt, give you peace that goes beyond understanding, provide for your daily needs, and help you rest in His care for both today and the future He has promised.

Father, I lift this dear one to You. Thank You that You invite us to cast all our anxiety on You because You care for us. Wash away any true guilt through the blood of Jesus and free this heart from false condemnation. Give wisdom about work and provision, about home and family, and about how to use every gift for Your glory. Teach trust in Your good purposes and sustain with hope in the glorious future You have promised. Provide peace, guidance, and daily bread, and help to walk in submission to Your loving will. In Jesus name, amen.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer these past few days.

We have continued to lift you up before the Lord, especially your worry about whether it is wrong or selfish to want more than just to survive. We want to assure you that bringing your desires for a stable home, for meaningful work, and for provision to God is not greedy. He cares about every detail of your life and He invites you to cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you as we are reminded in 1 Pet 5:7 and Phil 4:6.

We have prayed for your housing situation and the loss of that apartment where you felt at home with people who shared your interest in karaoke, and for the difficulty of having to move in with your parents after losing your job. We have prayed for your workplace hardships, being pushed around and suffering from the heat and wishing for relief, and for the fear and discouragement that has come from not being able to find full time work. We have also brought before the Lord your desire to be trained in voice acting, your creativity with puppets and even the desire for puppet cakes, and your wish to use what you have for good, as well as your disappointment that your parents are not supportive of that and will not allow you to grow your hair out, including the discouragement from your recent haircut. We have prayed for your longing for seasonal work at the zoo to become something more steady as a keeper, and for the feeling that it is pointless when doors do not open, and for the heavy burden of not knowing where you are going in life and feeling that you are just trying to survive in an excruciating way.

We pray that the Lord will give you His peace that passes understanding, that He will provide for your daily needs and guide your steps into work that uses the gifts He has given you, that He will comfort you in your living situation and restore hope where you feel worn down, and that He will remind you that you are not selfish for asking Him for help. We pray that you will know how deeply you are loved and seen by your Heavenly Father who knows what you need before you ask as written in Matt 6:31-33.

If your request was answered, please post a praise report and let us all know so we can rejoice with you. If your request does not seem to have been answered yet, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer.

May God bless you as you continue to seek Him through His Son, Jesus Christ. We pray this in Jesus Name, Amen.