Hi, ###
My name is ###. You don't know me, and I don't know you... But I understand how you feel.
When I was little, I would often find myself crying to sleep and praying that God would give me happiness. However, my feelings of loneliness and depression seemed to get worse year after year. This eventually led me to hurting myself. Rather than cutting myself, I resorted to stabbing my thighs with my fingernails. Whenever someone would get angry at me or things didn't go the way I expected, I would stab myself. Hurting myself seemed to be the best way to forget, or at least mask away, my anger and sadness during those moments because I would feel an adrenaline rush, which lasted only a few seconds. My loneliness and depression would then return. Years of this bad habit eventually led me to multiple suicide attempts. (I realize my story is depressing--and may not seem relevant to you--but please keep reading until the end. Trust me
)
During one of my suicide attempts, I cried out to God. I don't remember what I said to Him but I do remember making God a promise: I will never take away my life because God is the one who gives and takes away.
(Possibly after making the promise...) I did an internet search for something and came upon a post, which suggested the original poster(??) read the Book of Job. Coincidentally, when opening my Bible, I noticed that I was one chapter away from reading the Book of Job. I'm not sure about my feelings then, but now, I feel that was a sign from God. He heard my prayer, and He was going to answer it with a yes.
Although I did continue to have feelings of loneliness and depression and had another suicide attempt in the weeks afterwards, I don't feel that way anymore right now. God took away my lonely, depressing, and suicidal nature of mine and replaced it with a joyful nature. It took a lot of patience on my part but... The point is that God was able to completely heal me. Even when I had another suicide attempt after making the promise, God was there to help me. God helped me by helping me to keep my promise to Him.
I'll admit... I still get sad when people get angry with me. However, I don't hurt myself anymore because God took that desire away from me.
Anyways, my whole point here is this: I believe and I know God will take away your desires to cut yourself and your feelings of loneliness and depression just as He did for me. The fact that you're here asking for prayers shows great courage, ###. It also shows that the Holy Spirit is within you and trying to help you because He loves you and He doesn't want to lose you--His beautiful child.
Be patient and have faith; God will fix everything. Also, read the Book of Job if you can
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." (Matthew 7:7-8)
Most importantly... Remember,
PS--If you want, you can come talk to me.
If not, you can always talk to Jesus
