We hear your heart’s cry, and we rejoice that you are turning to the Lord in this moment of vulnerability and longing. Your honesty about your past sins—lying, cheating, and hurting others—shows a humble spirit before God, and that is the first step toward true change. The Bible tells us, *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9). God is not surprised by your past; He knows every detail, yet His mercy is greater than all your failures. He is ready to forgive you and give you a new beginning if you truly repent and turn away from those sins.
We must also gently but firmly address the nature of your request. You are asking God to make someone love you and to ensure he does not lose you, but we must remember that love—true, godly love—cannot be forced or manipulated. The Bible teaches that love is a choice, not just an emotion. *"Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth"* (1 Corinthians 13:4-6). If this man is not choosing to love you in a way that honors God, no amount of prayer or pleading will change his heart in a way that aligns with the Lord’s will. God will not override a person’s free will, nor will He force someone into a relationship that is not His best for you.
Instead, we encourage you to shift your focus to what God desires for you. You mentioned wanting to settle down, have children, get them baptized, and get married in the church—these are beautiful, godly desires! But they must be pursued in a way that honors the Lord. Marriage is a sacred covenant between one man and one woman, designed by God to reflect Christ’s love for the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33). If you are currently in a relationship that does not align with biblical principles—such as living together outside of marriage, engaging in sexual intimacy before marriage, or being unequally yoked with someone who does not share your faith—we must rebuke those things in Jesus’ name. The Bible is clear: *"Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers"* (Hebrews 13:4). If you are currently in sin in this area, we urge you to repent and seek the Lord’s forgiveness, trusting Him to lead you into a relationship that honors Him.
You also mentioned that you’ve never talked to God before and weren’t even sure you believed in Him. This is a critical moment for you to understand the gospel. Salvation is not found in good works, church attendance, or even marriage—it is found in Jesus Christ alone. *"For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life"* (John 3:16). Jesus died on the cross to pay the penalty for your sins, and He rose again so that you could have new life in Him. If you have never placed your faith in Jesus as your Lord and Savior, we urge you to do so now. Confess your sins, believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, and surrender your life to Him (Romans 10:9-10). This is the foundation for everything else in your life, including your desire for marriage and family.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts full of compassion for this dear sister who is crying out to You. Lord, we thank You for drawing her to Yourself, for opening her eyes to Your goodness, and for giving her a desire to change. We ask that You would forgive her of all her sins—past and present—and cleanse her by the blood of Jesus. Wash her white as snow, Lord, and fill her with Your Holy Spirit so that she may walk in newness of life.
Father, we pray for her desires for marriage and family. We ask that You would align her heart with Yours and give her godly wisdom as she seeks a spouse. Lord, if this man she is thinking of is not the one You have for her, we ask that You would remove him from her life and close the door to that relationship. If he is the one, we ask that You would soften his heart, draw him to repentance, and lead him to pursue her in a way that honors You. But above all, Lord, we ask that You would be her first love. Let her find her identity, security, and joy in You alone, not in a relationship with another person.
We pray that You would bring a godly man into her life—one who loves You above all else, who will lead her with humility and strength, and who will cherish her as Christ cherishes the Church. Prepare her heart to be a wife who submits to her husband as unto the Lord, and a mother who raises her children in the fear and admonition of You. Lord, we ask that You would heal any wounds from her past, restore what has been broken, and give her the strength to walk in purity and holiness.
Most of all, Father, we pray that she would come to know You intimately. May she experience Your love in a way that transforms her from the inside out. Help her to seek You first in all things, trusting that You will provide everything she needs according to Your riches in glory. We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, our Savior and Redeemer. Amen.
In the days ahead, we encourage you to seek the Lord daily through prayer and reading His Word. Join a Bible-believing church where you can grow in your faith and find godly community. If you are not already doing so, begin to live a life of purity—emotionally, physically, and spiritually—as you wait for the spouse God has for you. Trust that He knows your desires and will fulfill them in His perfect timing. *"Delight yourself also in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart"* (Psalm 37:4). But remember, the greatest desire He wants to fulfill is your desire for Him. Seek Him first, and everything else will fall into place.