B
Brenda222
Guest
I WON'T BE COMING TO THIS SITE ANYMORE. I know it's long but if you read it I appreciate it, this is my last letter here. I appreciate it. Pray for my soul please. I thank the ones of you who prayed for me for praying for me. You know it's funny, I will probably get 25 responses and prayers here. I look forward to the prayers here but it seems that when you pray and ask for blessings you get 2 or 3 responses, when you say you are turning away from the word you get 25 responses and I actually did look forward to the responses. A praise report gets you about 2 responses. Why is that?
It's the same thing I'm dealing with outside of this site, when I have lost everything and trying to stay in the word I get not one phone call or visitor. When I am doing well I have backstabbers, critics and lecturers all on my side and all around me.
Guys this has been a year-long battle and I can't win it. This situation only gets worse and worse. It's easy to say that if you were in my shoes you would just take any job and keep praying and deal with what I have to deal with, I don't know if a lot of you would deal with it, just like I can't.
I beg and ask for prayers for certain things. You say the Lord does it on his terms, that's fine, but how long is a person supposed to suffer. Yes I know Jesus Christ suffered. Does anyone expect me to really just live like this the rest of my life. A year ago I was in a relationship that after 10 years I was told they didn't love me anymore. Ok so the person moves in his family, his ex (sleeping in my bedroom), in the home with my child, slept with my child in the bed between them at first. We both had addictions throughout our relationship, I stuck by him through his, was it right to kick me out of our home cause I was having trouble with mine. Was it right to move your ex in our home? No it wasn't. I loved this person so much. This person stayed out all night on me, talked to his other woman on the phone in front of me, played songs to tell me it's over all day in the home, came home whenever he wanted to and wouldn't even speak to me in the home except to say hello after they came home after staying out all night, never called home when they have been out all night, never called our child. Now this person has the family and the ex in our home, and I am told that I cannot come there, even if I'm homeless (which I was). This person asked me to move, I was staying home taking care of our child all day, but yet told me cause I wasn't paying my 1/2 I had to move, now the people there stay there for free, around my child and have a home as long as they want to, sent my child into the situation of being from a broken home but yet everyone else there can stay and visit their children at our home. My other kids don't have a place to come visit with mom and enjoy the home, they did visit and holidays and all before I was kicked out, now my child is hurt because the brothers and sisters that used to come over, visit on holidays and all, we don't have that place to visit each other and be a family and I always had that thru the 10 years we were together. Before his family never visited, my kids did (my older kids). His family would not visit for 10 years when I was there. Now that he put me out our home is the family meeting place for them, now they supposedly love my child, never visited or got to know my child while I was living there. So now the ex has a place for her kids to visit and spend the night, which they do and they act as if it's her home, she had nothing to do with buying the home or going through the changes to get it, I did all the work to get that home, but this is who he lets move in. Oh, then he says, someone told me you cheated on me and you have to go. I never cheated and told him to think what he wants, I didn't argue, everyone knows I didn't cheat on him, but I think he needed a reason to feel he was justifying what he was doing.
Great, you say see a lawyer, I am not interested in that, there is no equity in the home, and why would I want anything to do with a home that a woman has been laying in the bed having sex with my man, a man I never cheated on for 10 years and was faithful. I can't fight this man for a home and penniless, so stop telling me to fight for the home and all the bs, the home is not what I want ok.
I had my credit doing good, the Lord blessed me to get out of that abusive home, I was doing just fine, the Lord blessed me with a job and my plans were to buy another home for me and my child. I had a few (so I thought) good friends. I was blessed with a job and could have made money to buy another home. I had planned to get one after a year of employment and my credit was getting good enough to buy one. I was going through depression of the breakup, didn't want to live and hurted so so much because I still love this person. You guys have to understand that it is hard to go through a breakup after all those years, if you stay on your feet it's not but I went down. I was no good for anyone, not even myself. I had just got back to work after about a year. Then I get a job offer from a company, a really good company. On my original job I had friends and was doing well, good attendance, happy to get up and go every morning, had a routine, stayed in the word, watched Joyce Meyer, going to church, a bit of everything, just happy, paying my bills off and credit was going up so I could buy another home. I was still depressed over the breakup. My so-called friends convinced me to go to this company, said since this was an opportunity they would help me with my child so I could work the hours the company wanted me to. I thought they were right, took the job. Nothing could be further from the truth. Once I changed jobs, they find it that they couldn't get my child to childcare like they promised me. And my ex had to work but the people in the house wouldn't get my child to school, even though they didn't work and still don't work, he wouldn't dream of asking them to do this. My so-called friends constantly told me how they couldn't do this because they didn't get up that early, and if I didn't have gas to give them they couldn't get my child to school, and then all of a sudden they want to go back to work, they can't stand being at home, so they couldn't help me with my child, and no one helped me, I had to give up my job, I had no one to get my child to school and childcare didn't open that early. So now I have no way to pay rent, I'm evicted from 2 apartments. I am now homeless, sleeping in the car, I pray for another apartment, yes I get one, he helps me when I am short sometimes. Don't say take it to court I can't fight him ok, he helps sometimes when I am short on rent and does for our child so I am not starting a battle and losing the help he does give me. K, this man still will not speak to me, won't even say hello, talks through our child. When we were together he never took our child anywhere and didn't spend the time at home, now he takes our child everywhere, being the model dad in front of his family, but 10 years we were together never had time for the child, takes the child shopping, do everything he didn't do when we were in the home together. I did it all but no one saw it because they didn't come around for 10 years. So who looks like the model parent to everyone, him. Remember I have no job now, can't even hardly afford rent on what unemployment gives me. Ok, so I lose everything. My car I could no longer afford and was planning to trade in if I had kept my job now gets repossessed. I have no bus fare, walk 12 miles round trip to go where I have to go, push groceries home in a cart in the sun for 3 miles, the so-called friends won't even give me a ride, in fact when I couldn't work they stopped speaking to me, see now I'm a bum, can't live like I used to and can't even afford to get my hair done for $15 at the beauty school, wear the same things over and over so now no one wants to be seen with me or even speak to me. Now I know it had to do with jealousy because I was getting on my feet, same so-called Christians won't even give me a ride to the store, to the bus stop or home after church or even pick me up for church, I was on my way to getting my home, trading in the car and living, was paying my tithes, which they weren't and was living good with me and my child alone. Now the so-called friends, so-called Christians want nothing to do with me and won't even call to say hello, even though they constantly called when I was doing fine. See now they are better than me. I was making friends at the original job. So now all I can do is sit here and worry about rent, recluse in my apartment, blessed by the Lord to pay rent every month, some way, by borrowing every month, living how I never have, isolated from the word because no one even calls, and all I have is this prayer site. K, no friends, no contact from the outside world, no one has time or wants to be bothered anymore. I walk everywhere, don't have bus fare. Don't tell me to go to agencies and all, I'm tired of living like this, begging from day to day. I get food stamps. Can feed my child. Now my lifeline, my internet is being cut off and cable being cut off, so now I will be even more isolated here, alone, cut off from the world, can't do anything for or with my child, when my child is here the apartment will be empty, no cable or anything, can't afford to even hardly buy toilet paper and do the things my child is used to me doing, so now it looks as if daddy is the model parent, I can't even take the child to the store to buy a 99-cent toy ok.
I apply for jobs, turned down from every last one of them. Try to pay bills. Want to get another home for me and this child one day, but can't find a job. My unemployment is running out then I will be homeless for real, AGAIN. The so-called friends will come and take me to the store if I sell them food stamps, I can't I need them to feed my child, and won't sell them, so they won't come by, call me a few times to say I am in your neighborhood, knowing I have no car and have to walk to school roundtrip 12 miles and even walk to pick up my child from school, roundtrip 5 miles, when daddy can't get our child. Can't wash dishes 1/2 the time cause I can't afford dishwashing liquid. This child sits here with me, isolated from the world also when the child is with me. So I understand when my child wants to go with daddy, there are people there, the room is full of stuff, I don't get mad, there is no way a child can sit here and talk and do nothing all day with mommy, so it's not my child's fault. Can't get a job to save for a car so I can't take this child anywhere or anything. Daddy is buying all the clothes and shoes and everything I did for my child, did it before but now that the relatives and ex are in the home he doesn't give me the money anymore, he does it, does the shopping with the child so the relatives all know now I do nothing and he does everything, they didn't see the 10 years of him never taking this child anywhere, not even to the store. The child would ask when we were together to go with daddy, he would say no, now he takes the child everywhere now that they are watching.
Isolated from the world here, praying for a year, no contact with anyone, can't even get to church anymore. Write my original job and ask for my job back, apply 5 times, finally they won't rehire me. No prospects of a job, unemployment running out, child doesn't want to come here, no phone calls from the outside world, no visitors, just isolated in life, getting ready to be homeless again, no prospects for jobs. All this because I changed jobs and listened to my so-called friends, who are now smiling and telling everyone how good the Lord is doing for them. I pray and ask for a miracle that they will give me my job back, been doing this for a year, everyone tells me that GOD will do things when he is ready, I just want my job back, can't live like this daily. I don't care about starting at the bottom and working my way up again, pray daily for my job. Everyone says take anything, that's fine but no one will hire me. I was good at my job. Pray daily that the Lord will touch their hearts, work a miracle and give me my job back, I can even deal with having nothing, living in isolation and trying to get back everything I lost. You guys sit and tell me that there is something better in store for me from the Lord. Nothing happens, I turn away from the Bible, you guys bring me back to sit in exile and isolation again, can't pay back all the money I owe from borrowing for rent and no one has money to help me next month, can't get to an agency to help me, have to wait til I have an eviction notice here and then they are 10 miles away, am I supposed to walk 10 miles there. Everyone, including daddy is doing fine, making it, having no problems, smiling, happy with their lives and don't have time to even speak to say hello or call to say hello. I can't afford to buy anything for myself, not even a pair of panties or even a plant to make this apartment feel good to me, me and my child are sharing a 1 bedroom, my child has never lived like this with me. I ask the Lord for a miracle and pray that they will call me to work, it doesn't happen. I know the Lord does work miracles but this isn't happening for me. So now in jeopardy of being homeless again, can't pay the bills, unemployment going off, suffering. I know the Lord will deal with those who wrong me, it's his vengeance not mine, I don't do anything or say anything against them. The family who lives out of town don't speak anymore because they are tired of me calling to borrow money and don't even call anyway. I ask to come home with my child because I am evicted, they tell me it's ok to sleep in the car with my child, just find a safe place to do it. I'm not asking for a handout, I have never lived like this. No car anymore and nothing left. Everyone says to pray, I've done that so much, I am still praying, but I am praying for the Lord to save my soul now that I am leaving this word. Can't see my child grown up, I know this child and my other ones need me, but I can't live like this in isolation and going through this around my children. All this because I took advice and changed jobs. I know if they would have rehired me I would be just fine, even if they call me today and do it, but they are not calling. Don't say look for other jobs or take anything. McDonald's won't even call me ok. So I've looked. I just wanted my job and sorry I made the mistake of leaving it because of what I was going through.
So just pray for my soul. I know this letter is long but I just wanted to tell my story ok. I understand we must go through these trials. I am a female, I can't sleep on the streets from being put out, I have no car to sleep in this time. Do I see myself living like this the rest of my life, no I refuse to. Everyone says daddy had this planned to move the ex and the relatives in, less than 2 weeks after he asked me to move and played songs that it was over, everyone moves in. I just want to ask for forgiveness from the Lord for listening to people. I had asked the Lord to bless me with a job to get me out of that home, the ex can have the home, the Lord blessed me, then I listened to others and threw that blessing away. I pray for a miracle and ask the Lord the same thing as I did before, for a miracle. I know the Lord can work miracles and bless me with my job back. I know the Lord can touch their hearts and they will ask me to come back. I've seen this miracle. When the ex got abusive, and the Lord wanted me out of the house, he worked a miracle for me and I got a job offer, the job I should have stayed. It happened so quick. The ex got abusive and didn't come home 1/2 the time and the Lord let this job pop up out of nowhere, it wasn't even in the category of the jobs I do, I just searched the internet and found it. That's why I know he can work miracles. That's why I know he can touch their hearts and let them call me and offer me a job again even though they said they won't rehire me. I know this can happen. I know he can work miracles. My friends, there are praying for me to get back to work there, they want me back there. I know that he can work this miracle, he knows this is the kind of work I love to do, I was just dealing with the breakup and all when I worked there before. I know that he got me out of that situation and blessed me with a job. It all happened so quick and it was like a miracle. I threw that away when I listened to others. I know he can touch their hearts and change things around for me to where they will offer me employment again. I know all this can happen and I got that miracle before. I know he can work miracles. My problem is now, nothing is changing, and honestly I can't live like this. I thank you for reading this long letter. I just wanted my whole story to be told. I Love you Jesus and Please forgive me for taking my life. I don't want to live like this anymore. This is not living. This is so bad and hurts so much.
I am tired of writing here and begging and asking for you guys to pray for my job back and you pray that I will get another one, better, that is not the issue, I loved my location, perfect hours and perfect pay. The
It's the same thing I'm dealing with outside of this site, when I have lost everything and trying to stay in the word I get not one phone call or visitor. When I am doing well I have backstabbers, critics and lecturers all on my side and all around me.
Guys this has been a year-long battle and I can't win it. This situation only gets worse and worse. It's easy to say that if you were in my shoes you would just take any job and keep praying and deal with what I have to deal with, I don't know if a lot of you would deal with it, just like I can't.
I beg and ask for prayers for certain things. You say the Lord does it on his terms, that's fine, but how long is a person supposed to suffer. Yes I know Jesus Christ suffered. Does anyone expect me to really just live like this the rest of my life. A year ago I was in a relationship that after 10 years I was told they didn't love me anymore. Ok so the person moves in his family, his ex (sleeping in my bedroom), in the home with my child, slept with my child in the bed between them at first. We both had addictions throughout our relationship, I stuck by him through his, was it right to kick me out of our home cause I was having trouble with mine. Was it right to move your ex in our home? No it wasn't. I loved this person so much. This person stayed out all night on me, talked to his other woman on the phone in front of me, played songs to tell me it's over all day in the home, came home whenever he wanted to and wouldn't even speak to me in the home except to say hello after they came home after staying out all night, never called home when they have been out all night, never called our child. Now this person has the family and the ex in our home, and I am told that I cannot come there, even if I'm homeless (which I was). This person asked me to move, I was staying home taking care of our child all day, but yet told me cause I wasn't paying my 1/2 I had to move, now the people there stay there for free, around my child and have a home as long as they want to, sent my child into the situation of being from a broken home but yet everyone else there can stay and visit their children at our home. My other kids don't have a place to come visit with mom and enjoy the home, they did visit and holidays and all before I was kicked out, now my child is hurt because the brothers and sisters that used to come over, visit on holidays and all, we don't have that place to visit each other and be a family and I always had that thru the 10 years we were together. Before his family never visited, my kids did (my older kids). His family would not visit for 10 years when I was there. Now that he put me out our home is the family meeting place for them, now they supposedly love my child, never visited or got to know my child while I was living there. So now the ex has a place for her kids to visit and spend the night, which they do and they act as if it's her home, she had nothing to do with buying the home or going through the changes to get it, I did all the work to get that home, but this is who he lets move in. Oh, then he says, someone told me you cheated on me and you have to go. I never cheated and told him to think what he wants, I didn't argue, everyone knows I didn't cheat on him, but I think he needed a reason to feel he was justifying what he was doing.
Great, you say see a lawyer, I am not interested in that, there is no equity in the home, and why would I want anything to do with a home that a woman has been laying in the bed having sex with my man, a man I never cheated on for 10 years and was faithful. I can't fight this man for a home and penniless, so stop telling me to fight for the home and all the bs, the home is not what I want ok.
I had my credit doing good, the Lord blessed me to get out of that abusive home, I was doing just fine, the Lord blessed me with a job and my plans were to buy another home for me and my child. I had a few (so I thought) good friends. I was blessed with a job and could have made money to buy another home. I had planned to get one after a year of employment and my credit was getting good enough to buy one. I was going through depression of the breakup, didn't want to live and hurted so so much because I still love this person. You guys have to understand that it is hard to go through a breakup after all those years, if you stay on your feet it's not but I went down. I was no good for anyone, not even myself. I had just got back to work after about a year. Then I get a job offer from a company, a really good company. On my original job I had friends and was doing well, good attendance, happy to get up and go every morning, had a routine, stayed in the word, watched Joyce Meyer, going to church, a bit of everything, just happy, paying my bills off and credit was going up so I could buy another home. I was still depressed over the breakup. My so-called friends convinced me to go to this company, said since this was an opportunity they would help me with my child so I could work the hours the company wanted me to. I thought they were right, took the job. Nothing could be further from the truth. Once I changed jobs, they find it that they couldn't get my child to childcare like they promised me. And my ex had to work but the people in the house wouldn't get my child to school, even though they didn't work and still don't work, he wouldn't dream of asking them to do this. My so-called friends constantly told me how they couldn't do this because they didn't get up that early, and if I didn't have gas to give them they couldn't get my child to school, and then all of a sudden they want to go back to work, they can't stand being at home, so they couldn't help me with my child, and no one helped me, I had to give up my job, I had no one to get my child to school and childcare didn't open that early. So now I have no way to pay rent, I'm evicted from 2 apartments. I am now homeless, sleeping in the car, I pray for another apartment, yes I get one, he helps me when I am short sometimes. Don't say take it to court I can't fight him ok, he helps sometimes when I am short on rent and does for our child so I am not starting a battle and losing the help he does give me. K, this man still will not speak to me, won't even say hello, talks through our child. When we were together he never took our child anywhere and didn't spend the time at home, now he takes our child everywhere, being the model dad in front of his family, but 10 years we were together never had time for the child, takes the child shopping, do everything he didn't do when we were in the home together. I did it all but no one saw it because they didn't come around for 10 years. So who looks like the model parent to everyone, him. Remember I have no job now, can't even hardly afford rent on what unemployment gives me. Ok, so I lose everything. My car I could no longer afford and was planning to trade in if I had kept my job now gets repossessed. I have no bus fare, walk 12 miles round trip to go where I have to go, push groceries home in a cart in the sun for 3 miles, the so-called friends won't even give me a ride, in fact when I couldn't work they stopped speaking to me, see now I'm a bum, can't live like I used to and can't even afford to get my hair done for $15 at the beauty school, wear the same things over and over so now no one wants to be seen with me or even speak to me. Now I know it had to do with jealousy because I was getting on my feet, same so-called Christians won't even give me a ride to the store, to the bus stop or home after church or even pick me up for church, I was on my way to getting my home, trading in the car and living, was paying my tithes, which they weren't and was living good with me and my child alone. Now the so-called friends, so-called Christians want nothing to do with me and won't even call to say hello, even though they constantly called when I was doing fine. See now they are better than me. I was making friends at the original job. So now all I can do is sit here and worry about rent, recluse in my apartment, blessed by the Lord to pay rent every month, some way, by borrowing every month, living how I never have, isolated from the word because no one even calls, and all I have is this prayer site. K, no friends, no contact from the outside world, no one has time or wants to be bothered anymore. I walk everywhere, don't have bus fare. Don't tell me to go to agencies and all, I'm tired of living like this, begging from day to day. I get food stamps. Can feed my child. Now my lifeline, my internet is being cut off and cable being cut off, so now I will be even more isolated here, alone, cut off from the world, can't do anything for or with my child, when my child is here the apartment will be empty, no cable or anything, can't afford to even hardly buy toilet paper and do the things my child is used to me doing, so now it looks as if daddy is the model parent, I can't even take the child to the store to buy a 99-cent toy ok.
I apply for jobs, turned down from every last one of them. Try to pay bills. Want to get another home for me and this child one day, but can't find a job. My unemployment is running out then I will be homeless for real, AGAIN. The so-called friends will come and take me to the store if I sell them food stamps, I can't I need them to feed my child, and won't sell them, so they won't come by, call me a few times to say I am in your neighborhood, knowing I have no car and have to walk to school roundtrip 12 miles and even walk to pick up my child from school, roundtrip 5 miles, when daddy can't get our child. Can't wash dishes 1/2 the time cause I can't afford dishwashing liquid. This child sits here with me, isolated from the world also when the child is with me. So I understand when my child wants to go with daddy, there are people there, the room is full of stuff, I don't get mad, there is no way a child can sit here and talk and do nothing all day with mommy, so it's not my child's fault. Can't get a job to save for a car so I can't take this child anywhere or anything. Daddy is buying all the clothes and shoes and everything I did for my child, did it before but now that the relatives and ex are in the home he doesn't give me the money anymore, he does it, does the shopping with the child so the relatives all know now I do nothing and he does everything, they didn't see the 10 years of him never taking this child anywhere, not even to the store. The child would ask when we were together to go with daddy, he would say no, now he takes the child everywhere now that they are watching.
Isolated from the world here, praying for a year, no contact with anyone, can't even get to church anymore. Write my original job and ask for my job back, apply 5 times, finally they won't rehire me. No prospects of a job, unemployment running out, child doesn't want to come here, no phone calls from the outside world, no visitors, just isolated in life, getting ready to be homeless again, no prospects for jobs. All this because I changed jobs and listened to my so-called friends, who are now smiling and telling everyone how good the Lord is doing for them. I pray and ask for a miracle that they will give me my job back, been doing this for a year, everyone tells me that GOD will do things when he is ready, I just want my job back, can't live like this daily. I don't care about starting at the bottom and working my way up again, pray daily for my job. Everyone says take anything, that's fine but no one will hire me. I was good at my job. Pray daily that the Lord will touch their hearts, work a miracle and give me my job back, I can even deal with having nothing, living in isolation and trying to get back everything I lost. You guys sit and tell me that there is something better in store for me from the Lord. Nothing happens, I turn away from the Bible, you guys bring me back to sit in exile and isolation again, can't pay back all the money I owe from borrowing for rent and no one has money to help me next month, can't get to an agency to help me, have to wait til I have an eviction notice here and then they are 10 miles away, am I supposed to walk 10 miles there. Everyone, including daddy is doing fine, making it, having no problems, smiling, happy with their lives and don't have time to even speak to say hello or call to say hello. I can't afford to buy anything for myself, not even a pair of panties or even a plant to make this apartment feel good to me, me and my child are sharing a 1 bedroom, my child has never lived like this with me. I ask the Lord for a miracle and pray that they will call me to work, it doesn't happen. I know the Lord does work miracles but this isn't happening for me. So now in jeopardy of being homeless again, can't pay the bills, unemployment going off, suffering. I know the Lord will deal with those who wrong me, it's his vengeance not mine, I don't do anything or say anything against them. The family who lives out of town don't speak anymore because they are tired of me calling to borrow money and don't even call anyway. I ask to come home with my child because I am evicted, they tell me it's ok to sleep in the car with my child, just find a safe place to do it. I'm not asking for a handout, I have never lived like this. No car anymore and nothing left. Everyone says to pray, I've done that so much, I am still praying, but I am praying for the Lord to save my soul now that I am leaving this word. Can't see my child grown up, I know this child and my other ones need me, but I can't live like this in isolation and going through this around my children. All this because I took advice and changed jobs. I know if they would have rehired me I would be just fine, even if they call me today and do it, but they are not calling. Don't say look for other jobs or take anything. McDonald's won't even call me ok. So I've looked. I just wanted my job and sorry I made the mistake of leaving it because of what I was going through.
So just pray for my soul. I know this letter is long but I just wanted to tell my story ok. I understand we must go through these trials. I am a female, I can't sleep on the streets from being put out, I have no car to sleep in this time. Do I see myself living like this the rest of my life, no I refuse to. Everyone says daddy had this planned to move the ex and the relatives in, less than 2 weeks after he asked me to move and played songs that it was over, everyone moves in. I just want to ask for forgiveness from the Lord for listening to people. I had asked the Lord to bless me with a job to get me out of that home, the ex can have the home, the Lord blessed me, then I listened to others and threw that blessing away. I pray for a miracle and ask the Lord the same thing as I did before, for a miracle. I know the Lord can work miracles and bless me with my job back. I know the Lord can touch their hearts and they will ask me to come back. I've seen this miracle. When the ex got abusive, and the Lord wanted me out of the house, he worked a miracle for me and I got a job offer, the job I should have stayed. It happened so quick. The ex got abusive and didn't come home 1/2 the time and the Lord let this job pop up out of nowhere, it wasn't even in the category of the jobs I do, I just searched the internet and found it. That's why I know he can work miracles. That's why I know he can touch their hearts and let them call me and offer me a job again even though they said they won't rehire me. I know this can happen. I know he can work miracles. My friends, there are praying for me to get back to work there, they want me back there. I know that he can work this miracle, he knows this is the kind of work I love to do, I was just dealing with the breakup and all when I worked there before. I know that he got me out of that situation and blessed me with a job. It all happened so quick and it was like a miracle. I threw that away when I listened to others. I know he can touch their hearts and change things around for me to where they will offer me employment again. I know all this can happen and I got that miracle before. I know he can work miracles. My problem is now, nothing is changing, and honestly I can't live like this. I thank you for reading this long letter. I just wanted my whole story to be told. I Love you Jesus and Please forgive me for taking my life. I don't want to live like this anymore. This is not living. This is so bad and hurts so much.
I am tired of writing here and begging and asking for you guys to pray for my job back and you pray that I will get another one, better, that is not the issue, I loved my location, perfect hours and perfect pay. The
