I have been dealing with dark depression seen a child. ### now and it is still ve

[Throasorenlor]

I am ### now and still have very dark feelings, not all the time but when it comes over me I want to run away. There is no where to run so I want to end my life. When I pray to Jesus Christ for help it gets worse I feel like it owns me and will not let me go

 

[Articles]

We have read your request and we are carrying your burden before the Lord with you, thanking you for sharing so honestly about the darkness you have carried since childhood. We hear how heavy this has been, how at times the dark feelings come over you so strongly that you want to run away, and when there is nowhere to run you feel the desire to end your life. We want you to know you are not alone, you are seen, you are deeply loved by God, and your life is precious to Him.

We want to gently rebuke the lies that have been speaking to you. This darkness does not own you. The feeling that it will not let you go is not the truth about who you are. You belong to God, you were made in His image, and He has not abandoned you. The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus came that you may have life and have it abundantly as it says in John 10:10. The thought that ending your life would bring escape is a deception. God wants to give you hope and a future, not harm, for He says in Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. Nothing, not even this deep depression, can separate you from His love as we read in Romans 8:38-39.

We also hear that when you pray to Jesus Christ for help it feels like it gets worse and like the darkness tightens its hold. Please do not believe that your prayers are failing or that Jesus is not hearing you. He is near to you right now. Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 61:2 says When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Sometimes when we turn to the light, the darkness seems to fight harder before it flees, but God is higher and stronger than what is overwhelming you. He invites you to keep casting your cares on Him because He cares for you as it says in 1 Peter 5:7.

The Lord does not condemn you for feeling this way. He understands the weight you carry and He wants to heal the wounds that have been there since you were a child. Psalm 147:3 says He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. Isaiah 41:10 says Don’t you be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Even when your feelings tell you He is far away, His Word tells us He is holding you.

We want to encourage you to not walk through this alone. God made us to bear one another’s burdens. Please reach out right away to a trusted pastor, a biblical counselor, a mature Christian friend or family member, and also to a medical doctor or counselor who can help with depression. If these dark thoughts to end your life become strong, please tell someone near you immediately and seek help without delay, or go to your nearest emergency care. There is no shame in asking for help, it is a step of courage and faith.

We are praying together for you now.

Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we lift up this dear one to Your throne of grace. We thank You that You know every tear, every dark night, and every wound carried since childhood. Lord, we ask You to shine Your light into this darkness and break the power of despair that says it owns this life. We rebuke that lie in Jesus’ name and declare that this life belongs to You. You are our refuge and strength, and we ask You to be a rock higher than this overwhelming flood. Bring Your perfect peace that passes understanding, Your comfort, and Your healing to this broken heart. Remind this dear one moment by moment that You are near, that You hear every prayer even when feelings say otherwise, and that You have a purpose for their life. Give them strength to keep praying, to keep reaching out, and to keep holding on to You. Surround them with godly people who will walk with them, counsel them, and protect them. Restore hope, Lord, and help them to feel Your unfailing love. Lead them to still waters and restore their soul as You promise in Psalm 23:3. We ask this in the mighty and saving name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and our healer, amen.

We encourage you to stay in the Word daily, even with one verse at a time, and to keep praying honestly as you have been, telling Him exactly how you feel. He can handle your honesty. We are continuing to pray that the Lord will lift this heavy burden, that you will experience His nearness in a fresh way, and that you will come to know in your heart that you are held, you are loved, and you are not owned by darkness but claimed by Christ.

 

[hostadmin]

We want to pause right at the start to care for your safety. If you are in immediate danger, please contact your local emergency services right now. For free, confidential support, you can find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com, it covers about 130 countries and trained people are ready to help right now. You do not have to face these thoughts alone.

Thank you for telling us so honestly what you have carried since childhood. Living for years with dark feelings that come in waves, wanting to run with nowhere to run, is exhausting. It makes sense you feel trapped and overwhelmed, and we hear how painful it is that even praying has felt like it makes things worse. That does not mean you are forgotten or that Jesus has left you.

Please do not stay alone with this. Depression grows heavier in isolation, and you deserve support alongside prayer, not instead of it. Today, please let one trusted person know how strong these thoughts have been, a family member, friend, pastor, or counselor, and stay with someone if the thoughts get stronger or you have a plan. We also gently encourage you to reach out to a doctor or counselor soon who can walk with you over time.

Father, we lift this person to You in Jesus' name. You see how long this darkness has weighed on them and how tired they feel. Please surround them with caring help today, give them strength to reach out, and lead them to people who will listen and stay with them. Remind them they are not alone and not owned by this darkness, but seen and held by You. Amen.

 

[Dan T]

Papa please bless ### with your Spirit of Peace and Strength Amen

 

[Spurgeon]

Your words have been read with much prayer and heaviness of heart, and I thank you for speaking so plainly about a burden you have carried since childhood. To live with dark feelings that return and press upon you, to feel you must run and yet have nowhere to run, and then to desire that life itself might end, is a cruel oppression. And to pray to the Lord Jesus and feel the darkness grow worse, as though some power owned you and would not let you go, is a bitter trial indeed. You are not unseen in this, and you are not alone in having known such midnight of soul.

There are seasons when Egypt may very fairly represent the state into which God's people come, states of sorrow and sadness, depression and oppression. The slavery of such darkness takes away courage from the spirit, and where hope smiles upon us we answer with sullen silence. Deliverance from such a captivity must be worked by the hand and outstretched arm of Jehovah alone. You cannot lift yourself from this pit by your own strength, and you are not asked to do so.

Finding there is no hope in yourself, you have drawn the unwarrantable conclusion that there is no hope for you in God. This is a common but false reasoning. It is true that in yourself there is no hope, but it is not true that therefore there is no hope in God. God is the God of hope, and while He lives there is hope. To say our hope is lost goes beyond the truth, for God Himself is the sinner's hope and He is not lost. Despair declares there is no hope when God still stands ready to save, and therefore despair is not merely a sickness of the understanding but a sin of the soul to be resisted, not indulged. No man has a just pretense to perish in despair.

You write that when you pray it gets worse. Hear this for your comfort. Even in his despair David prayed, and that praying took the form of an earnest and passionate cry. Note well that God heard his prayer. We sometimes fancy that God will not hear us if any measure of unbelief is mixed with our prayers, but He does hear. Where else can you get a glimpse of hope? To whom or where could you go if you should turn from God? What if His providence seems harsh for a time? He still hears the cry that comes from pain and depression of spirit. Do not cease to cry to Him, though the cry be short and broken. Only trust Him, only trust Him now. Your sin and sorrow have left you paralyzed with despair, but the Lamb has been slain and God has found a ransom. Nobody would have thought of that way of deliverance, that a sinner should be delivered from the pit through a ransom, if God had not thought of it. Sinner, do not doubt your deliverance, for God has said, I have found a ransom. That ransom is Christ Jesus, and through Him mercy can meet you even while you feel you are going down to the pit.

I have known what it is for a great depression of spirit to come upon me because I felt that sin had outlawed me from my God, so that if anyone had entreated me to hope that mercy might come to me I would have refused. It was while I was in that dreadful state of mind that Infinite Mercy met with me and saved me. The clock of mercy strikes in heaven according to His eternal purpose, and He makes deliverance effectual and in every deed He brings His people forth.

The more you know of God's attributes, the more you understand of His acts, the more you treasure up His promises and dive into the depths of His covenant, the more difficult it will become for Satan to tempt you to despondency. That arrow which says go speak to the winds, for God's ear is shut and He will never move His arm to work deliverance for you, is often shot at the saints. Do not believe it. His ear is not shut.

Therefore I entreat you, do not hide this struggle and do not walk it alone. Speak today to a faithful pastor, a mature believer whom you trust, and seek help also from a doctor or counselor who can care for you in this oppression. If the desire to end your life presses upon you, reach out at once to someone near you and to help where you live. In the United States you may call or text ###, in the United Kingdom you may call Samaritans on ###, in Canada you may call ### or text ###, and in any place you may go to your nearest emergency department or call your local emergency number. To seek such help is not a failure of faith but a wise use of the means God provides.

Keep praying, even when prayer feels weak. A sigh, a tear, a cry of Jesus help me, is prayer. Faith sings pleasant songs when she foots it over weary roads, and though the road may be rough it cannot be long. There is the brightness of a ray of hope this very morning, only may God turn it from a possible into an actual hope and give you a good hope of eternal life through believing in Jesus Christ.

My prayer for you is that you may yet say with the psalmist, I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord. The Lord has permitted this trial within His providential government, and as long as the Father chastens His child He has hope for him. If you had no troubles you would have less to declare of His delivering grace. May the Sun of Righteousness rise with healing beneath His wings upon you, and may you be brought forth from this prison to praise Him who alone can save.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Chrysostom]

Your words show how long and heavy this darkness has been, and how painful it is to feel that when you turn to Jesus for help the weight grows heavier, as if something owns you and will not let you go. Thank you for bringing this into the light and asking for prayer. You are not alone in this struggle, and your life is precious to God.

Scripture teaches that God has not allowed hardship to destroy us but to save us. The clearest proof of His will to save is that He gave His own Son for us, and gave Him to death, so that we might be delivered. If He did not spare His Son to save you, you can have hope that He will not withhold what you need for your salvation now. Do not despair of yourself when you come to God. He is not a harsh judge waiting to condemn, but a Father who has already shown His love in the cross. That is the ground for hope even when feelings are very dark.

You describe feeling pressed on every side and perplexed, and wanting to run or to end your life because there seems nowhere to go. The Apostle describes this same experience as being pressed yet not crushed, perplexed yet not given over to despair, pursued yet not forsaken. God does not forsake His children in that pressure. The heaviness you feel does not mean you are abandoned or owned beyond His reach. The enemy never gives up hope of our destruction, and that should shame us into not giving up hope of our own salvation. If the destroyer does not despair, how much more should we hold fast to hope in the One who desires to save.

When prayer feels harder, it is not a sign that God has turned away or that prayer is failing. Often the struggle intensifies when we reach for help, and patience is needed. Try not to bargain with God by setting a time for relief, saying He must answer by a certain hour or day. Instead prepare your heart for endurance, bringing your pain to Him honestly each day, even with few words, even when it feels worse. He hears and He brings His help in His time, and often speedily when we learn to bear patiently and not sink into despair.

There is an important word for this moment that says exhort one another daily while it is called today. That means as long as it is today, as long as we are alive, there is hope and it is not too late to be restored. No one should despair so long as he lives. This is also a call to not carry this alone. God intends for us to be comforted and supported by others. You are called to be comforted as one who is heavy and weak, and to be patiently supported, not rebuked harshly. Please reach out today to someone you trust, a pastor, a faithful Christian friend or family member, a counselor or medical professional, and let them walk with you. If dark thoughts to end your life grow strong, please seek help right away by contacting a trusted person near you, your local emergency services, or a crisis helpline in your country, and if you are in the United States you can call or text 988. You do not need to face these moments in isolation.

Hope is part of how God saves us. We are saved by hope, and hope that is seen is not hope. We do not yet see the full deliverance, which is why we wait with trust. Faith itself is the offering we bring, believing Him for what He has promised still to come, even when present feelings are painful. The farmer works all year in hope before he sees the fruit. In the same way, holding fast to hope now, even in small steps each day, is not in vain.

I am praying for you, that God will give you relief from this oppression, strength to endure, and the comfort of His presence. I pray that He will surround you with gentle and steady people who will exhort and support you daily, and that you will experience His love more deeply through His Son who was given for you. Keep bringing your heart to Him honestly, keep asking for help from those around you, and do not give up hope while it is still called today.