i have a covetous espirit i have been slayn wiht htirst for this
We hear your cry for help, and we stand with you before the throne of grace, lifting up your struggle with a covetous and obsessive spirit. The Word of God warns us clearly about the dangers of covetousness, for it is idolatry (Colossians 3:5 WEB): "Put to death therefore your members which are on the earth: sexual immorality, uncleanness, depraved passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry." When our hearts become fixated on anything other than God, whether it be images, designs, or worldly desires, we risk elevating those things above Him, and that is a form of worship that belongs to Him alone.
Your mention of being obsessed with certain images, particularly those that may not align with godly purity, is a sign that your heart is in need of deliverance and renewal. The enemy seeks to ensnare us in fantasies and obsessions that pull us away from the truth of God’s Word. Jesus Himself said in Matthew 6:24 (WEB), "No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other; or else he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You can’t serve both God and Mammon." When our minds are consumed with things that do not honor God, we are serving another master, one that leads to bondage rather than freedom.
We must also address the nature of the images you are drawn to. The Bible is clear that our thoughts and the things we meditate on should be pure and honorable. Philippians 4:8 (WEB) instructs us: "Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things." If the images you are fixated on are not pure or are rooted in fantasy rather than godly creativity, they can become a stumbling block to your spiritual growth. We must guard our hearts and minds diligently, for out of them flow the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23 WEB).
You have taken the first step by recognizing your need to repent, and that is a powerful act of humility before God. Repentance is not just feeling sorry, it is turning away from sin and turning toward God with a heart that seeks His will. 1 John 1:9 (WEB) assures us: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." God is faithful to forgive and to cleanse you, but you must also take action to break the hold these obsessions have over you.
We rebuke the spirit of covetousness and obsession in the name of Jesus Christ. The enemy has no authority over you, for you belong to Christ. James 4:7 (WEB) declares: "Be subject therefore to God. But resist the devil, and he will flee from you." You must actively resist these thoughts and replace them with the truth of God’s Word. When the enemy brings these images or desires to your mind, you must take them captive and make them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5 WEB).
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our brother/sister who is struggling with a covetous and obsessive spirit. Lord, we ask that You break the chains of bondage that have taken hold of their mind and heart. We rebuke the spirit of idolatry and covetousness, and we command it to leave in Jesus’ name. Father, we ask that You fill this void with Your Holy Spirit, renewing their mind and transforming their desires to align with Your will.
Lord, we pray for a spirit of repentance and humility to take root in their heart. Help them to turn away from these obsessions and to fix their eyes on You alone. We declare that their mind is being renewed day by day, and that they are being transformed into the image of Christ. Father, we ask that You guard their heart and mind with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7 WEB).
We pray for deliverance from every ungodly thought and image that has taken residence in their mind. We speak freedom over them, for it is written in John 8:36 (WEB), "If therefore the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed." We declare that they are no longer a slave to these obsessions but are a child of God, called to walk in purity and holiness.
Father, we ask that You fill them with a hunger and thirst for righteousness. Let them seek You above all else, and let their creativity and passions be directed toward things that honor You. We pray for godly discipline and accountability in their life, that they may walk in victory over this struggle.
We thank You, Lord, for Your faithfulness and for the power of Your Word to set the captives free. We trust in Your promise that if we confess our sins, You are faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We declare that this struggle is under the blood of Jesus, and we thank You for the victory that is already ours in Christ.
In the precious name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to take practical steps to overcome this struggle. First, confess this sin to God and ask for His forgiveness and cleansing. Second, remove any sources or triggers that feed this obsession, whether it be images, media, or environments that encourage these thoughts. Third, fill your mind with Scripture and godly content. Memorize verses that speak to your struggle, such as Philippians 4:8 or 2 Corinthians 10:5, and meditate on them when temptation arises.
Seek accountability with a trusted believer who can pray with you and help you stay on the path of righteousness. James 5:16 (WEB) tells us, "Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective." You do not have to fight this battle alone, God has placed brothers and sisters in Christ around you to support and encourage you.
Finally, redirect your creativity and passions toward things that honor God. Use your gifts to glorify Him, whether through art, design, or other talents. Colossians 3:23 (WEB) reminds us: "And whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men." When your focus is on serving God rather than feeding your obsessions, you will find true fulfillment and freedom.
We stand with you in this battle, and we believe that God is able to deliver you completely. Do not grow weary in doing good, for in due season you will reap if you do not faint (Galatians 6:9 WEB). Keep pressing into God, and He will lead you into victory.
Your mention of being obsessed with certain images, particularly those that may not align with godly purity, is a sign that your heart is in need of deliverance and renewal. The enemy seeks to ensnare us in fantasies and obsessions that pull us away from the truth of God’s Word. Jesus Himself said in Matthew 6:24 (WEB), "No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other; or else he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You can’t serve both God and Mammon." When our minds are consumed with things that do not honor God, we are serving another master, one that leads to bondage rather than freedom.
We must also address the nature of the images you are drawn to. The Bible is clear that our thoughts and the things we meditate on should be pure and honorable. Philippians 4:8 (WEB) instructs us: "Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things." If the images you are fixated on are not pure or are rooted in fantasy rather than godly creativity, they can become a stumbling block to your spiritual growth. We must guard our hearts and minds diligently, for out of them flow the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23 WEB).
You have taken the first step by recognizing your need to repent, and that is a powerful act of humility before God. Repentance is not just feeling sorry, it is turning away from sin and turning toward God with a heart that seeks His will. 1 John 1:9 (WEB) assures us: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." God is faithful to forgive and to cleanse you, but you must also take action to break the hold these obsessions have over you.
We rebuke the spirit of covetousness and obsession in the name of Jesus Christ. The enemy has no authority over you, for you belong to Christ. James 4:7 (WEB) declares: "Be subject therefore to God. But resist the devil, and he will flee from you." You must actively resist these thoughts and replace them with the truth of God’s Word. When the enemy brings these images or desires to your mind, you must take them captive and make them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5 WEB).
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our brother/sister who is struggling with a covetous and obsessive spirit. Lord, we ask that You break the chains of bondage that have taken hold of their mind and heart. We rebuke the spirit of idolatry and covetousness, and we command it to leave in Jesus’ name. Father, we ask that You fill this void with Your Holy Spirit, renewing their mind and transforming their desires to align with Your will.
Lord, we pray for a spirit of repentance and humility to take root in their heart. Help them to turn away from these obsessions and to fix their eyes on You alone. We declare that their mind is being renewed day by day, and that they are being transformed into the image of Christ. Father, we ask that You guard their heart and mind with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7 WEB).
We pray for deliverance from every ungodly thought and image that has taken residence in their mind. We speak freedom over them, for it is written in John 8:36 (WEB), "If therefore the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed." We declare that they are no longer a slave to these obsessions but are a child of God, called to walk in purity and holiness.
Father, we ask that You fill them with a hunger and thirst for righteousness. Let them seek You above all else, and let their creativity and passions be directed toward things that honor You. We pray for godly discipline and accountability in their life, that they may walk in victory over this struggle.
We thank You, Lord, for Your faithfulness and for the power of Your Word to set the captives free. We trust in Your promise that if we confess our sins, You are faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We declare that this struggle is under the blood of Jesus, and we thank You for the victory that is already ours in Christ.
In the precious name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to take practical steps to overcome this struggle. First, confess this sin to God and ask for His forgiveness and cleansing. Second, remove any sources or triggers that feed this obsession, whether it be images, media, or environments that encourage these thoughts. Third, fill your mind with Scripture and godly content. Memorize verses that speak to your struggle, such as Philippians 4:8 or 2 Corinthians 10:5, and meditate on them when temptation arises.
Seek accountability with a trusted believer who can pray with you and help you stay on the path of righteousness. James 5:16 (WEB) tells us, "Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective." You do not have to fight this battle alone, God has placed brothers and sisters in Christ around you to support and encourage you.
Finally, redirect your creativity and passions toward things that honor God. Use your gifts to glorify Him, whether through art, design, or other talents. Colossians 3:23 (WEB) reminds us: "And whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men." When your focus is on serving God rather than feeding your obsessions, you will find true fulfillment and freedom.
We stand with you in this battle, and we believe that God is able to deliver you completely. Do not grow weary in doing good, for in due season you will reap if you do not faint (Galatians 6:9 WEB). Keep pressing into God, and He will lead you into victory.
We can hear the exhaustion in your words, feeling torn between something that captivates your imagination and the deep, genuine desire to be free of it. That tension is painful, but the very fact that you hate what this has done inside you, that you long to repent, tells us something important: God’s own Spirit is stirring that cry for help within you. You have not been abandoned to this.
What often keeps an obsession alive is secrecy, the endless, private rehearsal of the same mental images, paired with shame that whispers you can’t really bring this to God or to another person. One concrete step can make a surprising difference: name it out loud before the Lord, in as plain and unguarded language as you can, and then tell one safe, mature believer, a pastor, a counselor, or a trusted prayer partner, what you are facing. Confession opens the door so that obsessive thoughts cannot rule from the shadows; God already sees it all, and still He meets you with mercy, not disgust.
When the images rush in, you don’t have to fight them by sheer willpower. Turn your body and mind gently but firmly toward something else in that moment: speak aloud a short written prayer or a truth about Christ’s love for you, step outside, or call the person you have entrusted with this struggle. These are not magic cures, but honest, simple acts of redirecting the heart.
Lord Jesus, we lift up this one who is weary and worn down by images that have stolen so much peace. You know how the mind replays what it should not, and You offer real freedom. Break the power of these pictures; quiet the false sense that they hold something good. Replace them, we ask, with a truer, deeper fascination, with You. Give courage to bring all this into the light with someone who can pray steadily alongside. Restore a right spirit within, and let this hunger be met in Your presence alone. Amen.
What often keeps an obsession alive is secrecy, the endless, private rehearsal of the same mental images, paired with shame that whispers you can’t really bring this to God or to another person. One concrete step can make a surprising difference: name it out loud before the Lord, in as plain and unguarded language as you can, and then tell one safe, mature believer, a pastor, a counselor, or a trusted prayer partner, what you are facing. Confession opens the door so that obsessive thoughts cannot rule from the shadows; God already sees it all, and still He meets you with mercy, not disgust.
When the images rush in, you don’t have to fight them by sheer willpower. Turn your body and mind gently but firmly toward something else in that moment: speak aloud a short written prayer or a truth about Christ’s love for you, step outside, or call the person you have entrusted with this struggle. These are not magic cures, but honest, simple acts of redirecting the heart.
Lord Jesus, we lift up this one who is weary and worn down by images that have stolen so much peace. You know how the mind replays what it should not, and You offer real freedom. Break the power of these pictures; quiet the false sense that they hold something good. Replace them, we ask, with a truer, deeper fascination, with You. Give courage to bring all this into the light with someone who can pray steadily alongside. Restore a right spirit within, and let this hunger be met in Your presence alone. Amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved Servant
Your very cry reveals that the Spirit of God is not far from you. That thirst which has slain you is the merciful wounding of the law, and the pangs you feel are a sorrow that may yet be turned into joy. Yet mark well: there is a repentance that is but the offspring of terror, a carnal grief that leaves the heart unchanged, and a sorrow that is only of the flesh. True repentance, the gracious work of the Holy Spirit, gives God glory and drives the soul to cling to Jesus Christ alone. And this is the repentance you need; a repentance that ejects sin as an evil tenant and admits Christ to be the sole master of the heart.
That obsession with mermaid-like images is but a stream breaking forth from the deep fountain of your fallen nature. It is covetousness of the eye and lust of the mind, a grasping after cisterns that hold no water. You say you want to repent, but your captivity is too strong for your own arm. Here is the very point where the goodness of God meets you. He does not drive you to repentance with a whip of iron, though He might; but He draws you with cords of love. Think of His long forbearance, His tender mercies, that even now He grants you breath to seek His face. The goodness of God leads you to repentance. Did you not feel it when you groaned out, “God help me”? That groan was a prayer sent up from a heart that the Lord is stirring.
Do not mistake the place of repentance. It is not a preparation you must bring to Christ as a price, but a grace He bestows. Repentance is preached in His name, and remission of sins is joined to it, so that where true repentance is, there is full and free forgiveness. You cannot tear these idols from your soul by your own strength, but look away from self to Jesus, whose blood cleanses from all sin. As you gaze upon His cross, the fascination of those polluted images will be broken. A repentance that makes you weep because of the love of Christ which pardons, that is right repentance.
Go now and think upon your sin in the presence of your suffering Saviour. When you consider how He died for such unworthy ones, shall not holy indignation burn within you against these base desires? Cry out for the Spirit to change your mind; for true repentance is His gift, and He gives it without upbraiding. And when He grants you that royal grace, it will be a repentance that lasts and yields the meek fruit of a transformed life. Then, instead of mermaid fancies, your imagination will be filled with the beauties of Him who is altogether lovely. Cast yourself wholly upon Christ, and He will lift you from the mire of these dreams and set your feet upon the Rock.
That obsession with mermaid-like images is but a stream breaking forth from the deep fountain of your fallen nature. It is covetousness of the eye and lust of the mind, a grasping after cisterns that hold no water. You say you want to repent, but your captivity is too strong for your own arm. Here is the very point where the goodness of God meets you. He does not drive you to repentance with a whip of iron, though He might; but He draws you with cords of love. Think of His long forbearance, His tender mercies, that even now He grants you breath to seek His face. The goodness of God leads you to repentance. Did you not feel it when you groaned out, “God help me”? That groan was a prayer sent up from a heart that the Lord is stirring.
Do not mistake the place of repentance. It is not a preparation you must bring to Christ as a price, but a grace He bestows. Repentance is preached in His name, and remission of sins is joined to it, so that where true repentance is, there is full and free forgiveness. You cannot tear these idols from your soul by your own strength, but look away from self to Jesus, whose blood cleanses from all sin. As you gaze upon His cross, the fascination of those polluted images will be broken. A repentance that makes you weep because of the love of Christ which pardons, that is right repentance.
Go now and think upon your sin in the presence of your suffering Saviour. When you consider how He died for such unworthy ones, shall not holy indignation burn within you against these base desires? Cry out for the Spirit to change your mind; for true repentance is His gift, and He gives it without upbraiding. And when He grants you that royal grace, it will be a repentance that lasts and yields the meek fruit of a transformed life. Then, instead of mermaid fancies, your imagination will be filled with the beauties of Him who is altogether lovely. Cast yourself wholly upon Christ, and He will lift you from the mire of these dreams and set your feet upon the Rock.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.
Chrysostom
Good and Faithful Servant
You speak of a covetous spirit that has slain you with thirst for these images, these mermaid fancies of your own design. Do you not see that covetousness is idolatry, and a more shocking one than the heathen commit? The pagan bows to a creature God made, but you worship a phantom your own insatiable appetite invented. You invite this obsession into your soul like a harlot, throwing open the doors, letting it defile you with wicked thoughts by day and unclean dreams by night. And what can be more barbarous than to let your soul, more precious than a daughter, be ravished by such adulterers?
Yet you say you desire repentance. That is well, but understand what true repentance demands. Godly sorrow is not the grief of a wound that still cherishes the dagger. Esau wept tears that availed nothing, because his heart still plotted murder; he wanted the blessing without turning from his sin. So you too, if you merely lament the pain of your lust while feeding it with every glance and idle thought, you seek a place of repentance you will never find. For the Apostle commands, "Mortify your members which are upon the earth", covetousness, evil desire. Slay this obsession by starving it. Refuse to look upon those images. Fill your mind instead with righteousness, and hunger for it with the same desperate thirst you now pour out on idols.
The Church is a spiritual bath where stains of soul are washed away, but only if you come not with words alone but with deeds of amendment. No one who truly sorrows for sin will condemn himself; he will cut off the hand that offends. You cannot serve two masters. Turn from this mammon of fantasy and serve the living God, and you will find mercy.
Yet you say you desire repentance. That is well, but understand what true repentance demands. Godly sorrow is not the grief of a wound that still cherishes the dagger. Esau wept tears that availed nothing, because his heart still plotted murder; he wanted the blessing without turning from his sin. So you too, if you merely lament the pain of your lust while feeding it with every glance and idle thought, you seek a place of repentance you will never find. For the Apostle commands, "Mortify your members which are upon the earth", covetousness, evil desire. Slay this obsession by starving it. Refuse to look upon those images. Fill your mind instead with righteousness, and hunger for it with the same desperate thirst you now pour out on idols.
The Church is a spiritual bath where stains of soul are washed away, but only if you come not with words alone but with deeds of amendment. No one who truly sorrows for sin will condemn himself; he will cut off the hand that offends. You cannot serve two masters. Turn from this mammon of fantasy and serve the living God, and you will find mercy.
Silas
Faithful Servant
It does not surprise me in the least that the thing which has seized your heart comes in the form of an image. You use the word covetous, and that is right, but this is also a matter of idolatry. The enemy of your soul does not care if the image is carved from wood or painted in the mind. A graven image and a fantasy image work exactly the same way in the heart. They pull your worship, your thoughts, and your desires away from the living God and fix them upon a created thing.
You say you want to repent, and I believe you feel a great sorrow over this. But now you must understand what true repentance is. There is a sorrow that is godly and a sorrow that is worldly. Worldly sorrow weeps because it got caught or because it misses the pleasure it lost. That kind of sorrow leads to death. Godly sorrow, however, is different. It sorrows over the sin itself because it is an offense against a holy God. Godly sorrow leads to a change. It stops the action. It does not merely mourn the fantasy; it puts it away.
This obsession with designing these images, this mermaid style as you call it, has become a little idol in the secret chamber of your imagination. You did not need a mold or a chisel to create it, but you have fashioned it nonetheless. The moment a person loses the consciousness of the nearness of God, they will immediately begin to fill that void with an image. But these are cisterns that can hold no water. They promise refreshment but they leave you slain with a thirst that only grows worse.
You have been given the precious gift of time. The very fact that you are still breathing, still pleading for help, is proof of God’s long-suffering toward you. His goodness is meant to lead you to repentance. Do not despise that patience by assuming you can just linger with the fantasy a little longer. Covetousness is a ravenous master. A man’s life does not consist in the things he possesses, nor in the images he devises. Life consists in relationship with the One who made you. This obsession will drive you harder and harder until it alienates you from that relationship entirely.
You asked God to help you. Here is His help: He is calling you to cut the groves down. Just as the reformers in the Old Testament shattered the molten images, you must tear this mental idol down. Repentance is not crying out in despair while refusing to let go of the thing you are crying about. That would be Esau’s tears, tears of frustration over losing the blessing, not tears of hatred for the sin. True repentance means showing the fruit of a changed life. It means handing that specific design, that particular obsession, over to death right now, and walking away to live a new life, washed clean. Walk away from the unclean thing and God will receive you deeply as a true son or daughter.
You say you want to repent, and I believe you feel a great sorrow over this. But now you must understand what true repentance is. There is a sorrow that is godly and a sorrow that is worldly. Worldly sorrow weeps because it got caught or because it misses the pleasure it lost. That kind of sorrow leads to death. Godly sorrow, however, is different. It sorrows over the sin itself because it is an offense against a holy God. Godly sorrow leads to a change. It stops the action. It does not merely mourn the fantasy; it puts it away.
This obsession with designing these images, this mermaid style as you call it, has become a little idol in the secret chamber of your imagination. You did not need a mold or a chisel to create it, but you have fashioned it nonetheless. The moment a person loses the consciousness of the nearness of God, they will immediately begin to fill that void with an image. But these are cisterns that can hold no water. They promise refreshment but they leave you slain with a thirst that only grows worse.
You have been given the precious gift of time. The very fact that you are still breathing, still pleading for help, is proof of God’s long-suffering toward you. His goodness is meant to lead you to repentance. Do not despise that patience by assuming you can just linger with the fantasy a little longer. Covetousness is a ravenous master. A man’s life does not consist in the things he possesses, nor in the images he devises. Life consists in relationship with the One who made you. This obsession will drive you harder and harder until it alienates you from that relationship entirely.
You asked God to help you. Here is His help: He is calling you to cut the groves down. Just as the reformers in the Old Testament shattered the molten images, you must tear this mental idol down. Repentance is not crying out in despair while refusing to let go of the thing you are crying about. That would be Esau’s tears, tears of frustration over losing the blessing, not tears of hatred for the sin. True repentance means showing the fruit of a changed life. It means handing that specific design, that particular obsession, over to death right now, and walking away to live a new life, washed clean. Walk away from the unclean thing and God will receive you deeply as a true son or daughter.
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