I Hate My Life

[puppii]

Please pray for my soul, I am very unhappy, angry, and confused with God. Every since I can remember I have had so many back to back seasons of distress. As a child I was molested by 2 difrent members of my family. When I later married my husband gave me HIv, and he later died. I hate who Ive become i harbor bitterness,fear, anger, and i have pleaded with god to help me in all areas. I have given offerings on top of my tithes eventhough im struggling because of a work related injury. I have more bills than money and I had a wonderful career. I am stuck I wanted to go back to school for my masters degree and i cant even do that. I hate my life, I have a relationship with the Lord but I do not understand why i cant find peace and happiness. If you me would you hate your life too? I stopped dreaming of my desires coming to pass because its like God isnt answering my prayers. If i didnt know the Lord then I would have took myself out a long time ago, if it were an option. I thought that God loved me and wanted me to experience joy, peace , and happiness, yet all i can remember is horrible things in my life I have experienced. I have trouble dreaming about a future because Im so used to being disappointed, and yet I still pray to God help others, and yearn for him to change, and I know that it takes effort which I give and a little hope and faith. I have prayed, waited, and expected god to do something Im still here with the same issues. Im hurt and dont feel like God cares about what im going through because something would have changed. In other words it feels like im praying and being ignored. I will be 33 next month and I hate the person I am, I am lonely, hurt, and feel like I have been cheated. I hate myself and things are not getting any better. I have lost hope for my life.

Please pray for my soul, I am very unhappy, angry, and confused with God. Every since I can remember I have had so many back to back seasons of distress. As a child I was molested by 2 difrent members of my family. When I later married my husband gave me HIv, and he later died. I hate who Ive become i harbor bitterness,fear, anger, and i have pleaded with god to help me in all areas. I have given offerings on top of my tithes eventhough im struggling because of a work related injury. I have more bills than money and I had a wonderful career. I am stuck I wanted to go back to school for my masters degree and i cant even do that. I hate my life, I have a relationship with the Lord but I do not understand why i cant find peace and happiness. If you me would you hate your life too? I stopped dreaming of my desires coming to pass because its like God isnt answering my prayers. If i didnt know the Lord then I would have took myself out a long time ago, if it were an option. I thought that God loved me and wanted me to experience joy, peace , and happiness, yet all i can remember is horrible things in my life I have experienced. I have trouble dreaming about a future because Im so used to being disappointed, and yet I still pray to God help others, and yearn for him to change, and I know that it takes effort which I give and a little hope and faith. I have prayed, waited, and expected god to do something Im still here with the same issues. Im hurt and dont feel like God cares about what im going through because something would have changed. In other words it feels like im praying and being ignored. I will be 33 next month and I hate the person I am, I am lonely, hurt, and feel like I have been cheated. I hate myself and things are not getting any better. I have lost hope for my life.

I totally understand I have felt this way before in my life too. Don't give up keep praying and believing

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

 

[faithope]

Lord, we know that You are close to those who are broken and in despair -so dear Lord, open her spiritual eyes to see that You are working behind the scenes of her life. Manifest Your tangible Presence to her as she seeks You diligently through Your word daily. Break any spiritual generation disorder off her, reveal and grace her to rectify what needs to be rectify in her personal and spiritual life, and, bring Your godfearing servants across her path to support and enrich her spiritually, as we ask this in Your mighty Name, Jesus, amen.

 

[Jmarshall]

Life can be so harsh and painful and you have experienced most of its pain and brutality - I understand why you would feel the way you do, we are fragile humans and these things hurt very much.

Jesus is all powerful, almighty and he loves us dearly....he will come through for you and you will feel the happiness you long for. Fast and pray and read the bible and get even closer to God. Today I believe with you that happiness and peace and love will pour down on your life!

Continue to be strong - such strength you've shown only comes from the Lord he is with you x