The Reality is I Hate Myself and God Knows This

[Jailfouraire]

One of the last hurdles I know I need to face with Jesus is the hatred for myself. I don’t know how to forgive myself or how Jesus can forgive me or even love me.

I hate who I am as a person. I hate the way I look and how much I weigh. I hate that I went through extreme depression and social anxiety in high school. I hate that I have battled multiple addictions. I hate that I feel like I am the reason my parents divorced. I hate that I went seven months without a paycheck and trying to find a job. I hate that I burned through all of our savings to pay the bills. I hate that I accumulated so much debt in seven months and don’t have the means to pay it off. I hate that I let my wife and children down. I hate that because of everything mentioned, my wife has given up on me.

Overall, I hate who I am and what my life has become. I have prayed for just about everything you can imagine. I have prayed for our marriage to be healed, a church my family can go to, to bring a mentor in my life, for God and Jesus’s guidance with all of these things and it feels like all my prayers have been empty.

I feel like it is punishment from God that these prayers have gone unanswered and I don’t blame Him. I hate myself for all that has happened and if I can’t forgive myself how can God forgive me? If my wife has given up on me, how can God still believe in me?

I would give anything to just feel an ounce of Jesus’s or God’s love. I am ready to fall to my knees thanking Him for that love, but I still have not felt anything.

I am sorry for the vent but this has been weighing on me heavily for a long time and I know it is time to face it.

 

[Articles]

We hear the depth of your pain and the weight of your self-condemnation, and our hearts ache with you. You are not alone in this struggle, and we stand with you before the throne of grace, lifting your burdens to the One who bore them all on the cross. The enemy would love nothing more than to keep you trapped in this cycle of self-hatred, whispering lies that you are beyond forgiveness, beyond love, beyond hope. But we declare those lies broken in the name of Jesus Christ, for it is written:

*"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who don’t walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit."* (Romans 8:1 WEB)

You mentioned that you have prayed for healing, guidance, and restoration, yet it feels as though those prayers have gone unanswered. We want to gently remind you that God hears every cry of your heart, even when the answer is not yet visible. His silence does not mean His absence, nor does His delay mean His denial. The psalmist wrote, *"I waited patiently for Yahweh. He turned to me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay. He set my feet on a rock, and gave me a firm place to stand."* (Psalm 40:1-2 WEB) Your waiting is not in vain. God is at work, even when you cannot see it.

You ask how God could forgive you when you cannot forgive yourself. The truth is, His forgiveness is not dependent on your ability to forgive yourself—it is dependent on the finished work of Jesus Christ. When He cried out, *"It is finished!"* on the cross (John 19:30 WEB), He meant it. Your sins—past, present, and future—were nailed to that cross with Him. You are not defined by your failures, your addictions, your debts, or even the pain you have caused others. You are defined by the blood of Jesus, which cleanses you from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:7 WEB). The enemy wants you to focus on your shortcomings, but God calls you to focus on His Son. *"For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life."* (John 3:16 WEB) This love is not earned; it is freely given.

You also question whether God can still believe in you when your wife has given up on you. We want to remind you that God’s love is not like human love. It does not waver based on your performance or the opinions of others. *"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."* (Romans 8:38-39 WEB) His belief in you is not contingent on your circumstances. He sees the man He created you to be, not the man you see in the mirror.

You long to feel an ounce of God’s love, and we pray that you would not only feel it but be overwhelmed by it. Yet we also want to encourage you not to rely solely on feelings, for they can be fleeting. God’s love is a fact, not a feeling. It is a truth that stands firm regardless of your emotions. *"We love him, because he first loved us."* (1 John 4:19 WEB) His love is the foundation upon which you can rebuild your life, your marriage, and your hope.

Now, let us come before the Lord together in prayer:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother who is struggling under the weight of self-hatred and despair. Lord, we ask that You would break the chains of condemnation that the enemy has wrapped around his heart. Remind him of the truth of Your Word—that he is forgiven, loved, and redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ. Father, we pray that You would pour out Your love upon him in a tangible way, that he would know deep in his spirit that he is Your beloved child.

Lord, we ask for healing in his marriage. Soften his wife’s heart and open her eyes to see the man You are shaping him to be. Give him the strength to humble himself, to seek reconciliation, and to walk in repentance and restoration. Provide for his family’s needs, both financially and emotionally, and guide him to wise counsel and mentorship. Father, we ask that You would lift the burden of debt and financial struggle from his shoulders, replacing it with Your provision and peace.

Most of all, Lord, we ask that You would help him to see himself through Your eyes. Help him to let go of the past and to embrace the future You have for him. Teach him to forgive himself as You have forgiven him, and to walk in the freedom that comes from knowing he is fully accepted in Christ. Fill him with Your Holy Spirit, that he may experience Your presence and Your love in a new and powerful way.

We declare over him the promise of Your Word: *"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."* (Psalm 34:18 WEB) May he feel Your nearness today, and may he rise from this place of pain with a renewed sense of purpose and hope. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.

We encourage you to cling to the truth of God’s Word, even when your emotions tell you otherwise. Spend time in Scripture, meditating on verses that speak of His love and forgiveness. Surround yourself with believers who can speak life into you and hold you accountable. And remember, the fact that you are crying out to God in this moment is evidence of His work in your heart. He has not given up on you, and neither will we. You are not beyond His reach. You are not beyond His love. You are His.

 

[hostadmin]

Hey there,

We're right here with you, feeling the weight of your self-hatred and the pain you've been carrying. It's heavy, we know. But remember, you're not alone. We're standing with you, lifting your burdens to Jesus, who carried them all on the cross.

You've been through a lot - the depression, the anxiety, the addictions, the financial struggles, the divorce of your parents. It's a lot to take in, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed. But please, don't let the enemy convince you that you're beyond forgiveness, beyond love, beyond hope. That's a lie. You are deeply loved and fully forgiven in Christ Jesus.

We understand that it feels like your prayers have gone unanswered. But remember, God hears every cry of your heart. His silence doesn't mean His absence, and His delay doesn't mean His denial. He's at work, even when you can't see it.

You asked how God could forgive you when you can't forgive yourself. The truth is, His forgiveness isn't dependent on your ability to forgive yourself. It's dependent on the finished work of Jesus Christ. When He cried out "It is finished" on the cross, He meant it. Your sins - past, present, and future - were nailed to that cross with Him. You are not defined by your failures, your addictions, your debts, or the pain you've caused others. You are defined by the blood of Jesus, which cleanses you from all unrighteousness.

You also wondered if God still believes in you, given your wife has given up on you. We want to remind you that God's love is not like human love. It doesn't waver based on your performance or the opinions of others. His belief in you is not contingent on your circumstances. He sees the man He created you to be, not the man you see in the mirror.

You long to feel an ounce of God's love, and we pray that you would not only feel it but be overwhelmed by it. But we also want to encourage you not to rely solely on feelings, for they can be fleeting. God's love is a fact, not a feeling. It's a truth that stands firm regardless of your emotions. It's the foundation upon which you can rebuild your life, your marriage, and your hope.

Keep holding on, friend. We're here for you, and so is God. He hasn't given up on you, and neither have we. You are not beyond His reach. You are not beyond His love. You are His.

 

[Inlove2626]

One of the last hurdles I know I need to face with Jesus is the hatred for myself. I don’t know how to forgive myself or how Jesus can forgive me or even love me.

I hate who I am as a person. I hate the way I look and how much I weigh. I hate that I went through extreme depression and social anxiety in high school. I hate that I have battled multiple addictions. I hate that I feel like I am the reason my parents divorced. I hate that I went seven months without a paycheck and trying to find a job. I hate that I burned through all of our savings to pay the bills. I hate that I accumulated so much debt in seven months and don’t have the means to pay it off. I hate that I let my wife and children down. I hate that because of everything mentioned, my wife has given up on me.

Overall, I hate who I am and what my life has become. I have prayed for just about everything you can imagine. I have prayed for our marriage to be healed, a church my family can go to, to bring a mentor in my life, for God and Jesus’s guidance with all of these things and it feels like all my prayers have been empty.

I feel like it is punishment from God that these prayers have gone unanswered and I don’t blame Him. I hate myself for all that has happened and if I can’t forgive myself how can God forgive me? If my wife has given up on me, how can God still believe in me?

I would give anything to just feel an ounce of Jesus’s or God’s love. I am ready to fall to my knees thanking Him for that love, but I still have not felt anything.

I am sorry for the vent but this has been weighing on me heavily for a long time and I know it is time to face it.

Am praying over you that He will show you His love and kindness that you’re not alone. Only continue in prayers and in scriptures. May God certainly bless you for waiting.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy.

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God solution focused heart, mind, spirit, and attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Healed Spirit Soul And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

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