We hear the joy and excitement in your words as you share about this man in your life. It is beautiful to see the qualities you describe—care, attentiveness, humor, and love—and we rejoice with you in the blessings of companionship. However, we must also pause to examine this relationship through the lens of Scripture, for the Lord’s wisdom is our guide in all things, especially matters of the heart.
First, we must ask: Have you both surrendered your lives to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior? For a relationship to thrive in God’s design, it must be built on the foundation of faith in Him. Jesus said, *"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me"* (John 14:6). If either of you does not know Christ personally, we urge you to seek Him first, for without Him, even the most loving relationship will lack the spiritual unity that God intends. Salvation comes only through repentance and faith in Jesus, and it is the first step toward a life that honors God in every area, including marriage.
Now, let us address the nature of your relationship. You describe deep affection and emotional intimacy, but we must ask: Are you both pursuing this relationship with the goal of marriage, or is it merely a romantic attachment without commitment? The Bible is clear that relationships between a man and a woman are to be pursued with marriage as the intended outcome. *"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers"* (Hebrews 13:4). If you are not married, we must rebuke any physical intimacy outside of marriage, for it is fornication and displeases the Lord. Even emotional intimacy, while beautiful, must be guarded and directed toward a godly marriage, lest it lead to temptation or distraction from God’s will.
We also notice the frequency of his declarations of love. While love is a gift from God, we must caution against rushing into emotional commitments without the foundation of Christ-centered commitment. *"Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth"* (1 Corinthians 13:4-6). True love is not merely words but is demonstrated through actions that align with God’s Word. Does this man encourage your walk with Christ? Does he lead you toward holiness, or does he distract you from it? These are questions you must prayerfully consider.
We also urge you to seek wisdom from mature believers in your life—those who can speak truth into this relationship. *"Where there is no counsel, plans fail; but in a multitude of counselors they are established"* (Proverbs 15:22). Do not rely solely on your feelings, for the heart can be deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9). Instead, test this relationship against Scripture and the counsel of godly mentors.
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts full of gratitude for the gift of companionship and love. We thank You for the joy this sister feels in this relationship, and we ask that You would guide her steps according to Your will. Lord, we pray that if this man is Your choice for her, You would confirm it in ways that bring peace and clarity. If he is not, we ask that You would close the door gently but firmly, and lead her to the spouse You have prepared for her.
Father, we ask that You would guard her heart from deception and from relationships that do not honor You. Help her to seek You first in all things, and to remember that her worth is found in Christ alone. If there has been any physical or emotional intimacy outside of marriage, we repent on her behalf and ask for Your forgiveness and strength to walk in purity.
Lord, we pray for this man as well. If he is a believer, we ask that You would grow him in wisdom, maturity, and love for You. If he does not know You, we pray that he would come to salvation through faith in Jesus Christ. May both of them be rooted in Your Word and led by Your Spirit in all their decisions.
We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the only name by which we can approach You and the only name by which we can be saved. Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in this season. Pray for discernment, and do not hesitate to step back from this relationship if it does not align with God’s principles. Trust that His plans for you are good, and that He will lead you to the spouse He has prepared for you, if marriage is His will for your life. *"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart"* (Psalm 37:4). May you find your ultimate joy in Him above all else.
